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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 104


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates on Friday every week!



Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3.
Recaps: 1.

Long one tonight.

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

No, wait, she said "Thick one tonight." My bad.

Previously in the Chronicles...















There. That ought to be enough papers to last you for a while.

And in case some of you are still breathing through your mouths: Daisy White is Cecilia, Poppy White is Vanessa, and "Cecilia Phelps" is Vicki Sharpe.

Didn't you guys ever watch the X-Files or anything?




Man, how you so sexy, evil lady?

Daisy: It's the evil. Obviously.



Daisy: I like the view from here. It reminds me how big my potential corpse pile is.



And you like this place, because it reminds you that around here we like to celebrate anarchy and murder?

Daisy: Actually I just like watching people fall down the stairs in winter.



Alvin: Why's it so cold out here?!

Because you're not wearing a jacket? Because your shirt doesn't meet your pants? Because it's winter?

Alvin: Man, outdoors, this is why nobody likes you.



Alvin: Pew pew!
Daisy: Bang bang!

1, 2, 3, 4. I detect a lame war.



Speaking of.



Lucas: Hola chiquita! Are you needing my latin sausage in your steaming hot pocket?
Daisy: You're revolting.
Lucas: Means yes?





Lucas: On second thought, Lucas Perez will be in the bathroom. Expunging his breakfast.



Lucas: Into this willing barf-slave's love lips.

I promise you guys he won't live out this chapter.



Daisy: I don't know what you're talking about, he just keeps getting sexier and sexier!



Dagmar Barrett: Hello! I'm Deputy Mayor Dagmar Barrett. Do you have a minute to talk about the upcoming election?
Daisy: Why, is the competition getting to you? Maybe your challenger has a sixhead?



Daisy: You should date my sister, I hear the lesbian ticket is really hot these days.
Kennedy: What's a sixhead?
Chelsea: It's like a forehead that skipped the fivehead stage.



Dagmar: I could totally do that! I'm not a real person so my gender preference isn't set.



Dagmar: So, can I count on your vote?
Daisy: What'll you give me for it?



Dagmar: How about a parachute date?



Coy Gipson: Right! Parachute! I knew I forgot something!



Coy: I hope you like stucco kisses, lady.



Coy: Wow! This couch is really soft when you hit it at terminal velocity!
Chelsea: THAT'S NOT HOW CEILINGS



Chelsea: I think you'd better call a doctor.
Dagmar: Why not? Campaign medical expenses get charged to the county!



Daisy: This is an open fist. That's how you punch without breaking your fingers.
Coy: Cool beans!



Lucas: YOU NEVER WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS IN LUCAS PEREZ'S EAR!



Hey, thanks Lucas! You're helping me keep my promise.



Lucas: Stop! STOP, chiquita! Women do not beat men! Is an inversion!



Daisy: What ever possessed you to create this monstrosity?

Could you clarify? There's a lot of monstrosities kicking around right now.



Lucas: Lucas Perez will soon kick your monstrosity.
Coy: Yeah, heh, it is pretty big.
Lucas: IS NOT WHAT HE MEANT.



Coy: This is a bad date. I fell through a ceiling and then you had clothed bondage sex with your Mexican pool boy.



Daisy: You'd better stop there, I only sharpened one axe this morning.



Coy: And anyway who sells their vote for a boyfriend? Everyone knows you don't talk politics on a first date.



Daisy: I wonder which box I put my assault rifle in.



Daisy: Spring cleaning it is!



The Unsavoury Charlatan: I'M GOING TO MAKE CANDY OUT OF YOU.



Kennedy: :{



Daisy: Maybe I should just buy sex.



Daisy: 'cuz you get what you pay for with this free shit.
Venkat: I'm orange!



It must be sobering to live in the shadow of a church like that.



Daisy: Yeah, it keeps reminding me there's an entirely new class of assholes I've never tried to murder.



What's wrong with it?

Sam: Huh?

You're trying to fix her computer, aren't you?

Sam: You mean this isn't cybersex?



Daisy: You're no Sullivan, Sam.
Sam: Thanks boss!
Daisy: It's only half a compliment.



Yusun: Browwwnnn squiggggly texxxxtured thoughhhhht balloooooooonsssss...



Daisy: That's my cue! We should have picked a simpler one.



Daisy: Hello sir and/or madam! Can I interest you in a frontal lobotomy?



Sam: If you chop her up real good we can still make the garbage pickup.



Wow! It's not even my birthday yet!



Sam: You wouldn't kill Lucas! Some people only read this thing for him!

And you think that's desirable?!



Daisy: Well something about him certainly is!

I hear some people interpret the smell of caked-on feces as pheremonal.



Lucas: But Lucas Perez is interpreting it as pheronomenal!



Daisy: Yeah, he's definitely too hot to live.



Lucas: Two girls one cup is which channel?



Daisy: You're gonna wanna go home now.
Sam: That's not how hypnotism works.
Daisy: And that's not how idiom parsing works.
Sam: Stop making me look things up!



Lucas: Well hello, chiquita.

She only wants you for your brains.

Lucas: What a bitch!



Daisy: You kids play nice. I don't wanna get any greasy Latin grey matter on me.



Daisy: Time to bottle me up some eau de Sullivan!



Lucas: Should your clothes not be off, chiquita?



Lucas: She knows of my domestic violence fetish!



Daisy: Ooh, there's a thought! Pee-flavoured personality potions!



Lucas: SAVE SOME FOR ME



Daisy: I've been saving this for you for ages.

And I've been getting really impatient for you to give it to him, let me tell you.



Lucas: BUM SEX ONLY WORKS WHEN THE BUM PLUNGER IS BEHIND THE BUM, STUPID CHIQUITA



Daisy: At least he's dying classy.



Daisy: Come on, bitch! You know you want to embarass him before I cut his head off!



Daisy: Aim for the balls! They're the only bits that think!



Lucas: If this is the end for Lucas Perez, he is going to go down crotcheating!



Lucas: He is still up for crotcheating!



Daisy: I'm almost tempted to take you up on that, but I'd need to stuff a whole roll of paper towels down there first.

GOOD GOD CECILIA NOT YOU TOO

I don't even know how I'd go about killing you.



Lucas: Who is killing who now?

Just enjoy your final shit, Lucas.

Lucas: As all the shits before it. Yes.



Yusun: Grosssssssss.



Yusun: Staaaaaaaaannnnnk.



Daisy: Let's play catch.



Daisy: No hands!



Whusplurch.

She's got a soft forehead.



Luckily for her, Daisy's got a soft carpet.

Well, I guess it's not very lucky, but still.



Lucas: Lucas Perez did not know that the strange scary lady was a lumberjack!
Daisy: But you did know that this random blue bitch was a tree?
Lucas: LUCAS PEREZ IS NO FOOL, STRANGE SCARY LUMBERJACK LADY!



Daisy: Do me a favour, don't leave when you're done.



Lucas: Trees which look like zombie ladies should be protected trees.



Daisy: Alright, that's enough tortuous dialogue for one generation.

Yeah, but I've still got those robots kicking around.

Really need to do something about them.

You busy later?



Lucas: Lucas Perez has prepared his chin for your vagina long jump, chiquita. Off with your pants.



Daisy: Sorry buddy, this run is tool-assisted.



Lucas: THAT IS THE WRONG OLYMPIC EVENT, CHIQUITA!



Daisy: Then why does it feel so right?!



Lucas: That is what she said. Was saying. That is what she was saying. Shit, I dropped character again. You have no idea how hard it is to keep up that weird Latino pastiche. Also I think you hit my speech centre, because I can't quite purple beachrabbit lawnmower.



Arcadia: Oh, so it's gonna be one of those days, is it.



Daisy: Come back! I need to kill all the witnesses.
Arcadia: Yeah, because it'll be hard to compromise the integrity of someone's testimony when they say they saw an ethnic stereotype phase through a solid brick wall with an axe in his head.



Daisy: Stranger things have happened. Today.



Daisy: I need a nanny. To take care of my kid for a few hours. Because I want to go out, but I sent my butler home, because I didn't want him to see me murder hahaha you don't need to know this part.



Lucas: Is okay if Lucas Perez haunts your plumbing?



Daisy: You can haunt my plumbing any day, Lucas.
Lucas: Gross! Is vulgar! Lucas Perez only meant he wants to swim in your shit, you dirty dirty woman!



Hahaha, your hair matches your shoes!

Debbie Jordan: THAT'S DISGUSTING.



Gonna confess your sins?

Daisy: Nah. I just like sitting in here, thinking about 'em. It makes me wet.



Daisy: Also this Puritan furniture really appeals to my sadomasochism.



Daisy: With any luck, Mrs. Crumplebottom will forget to disinfect her pew this time.



Nobody uses this lot either. Are you just going on a tour of all my failures?

Daisy: I thought that's what this journal is about!



Daisy: Okay! Pretty random. Especially since I killed you once ahaha there I go again.



Daisy: Hey, you used to date that greasy Mexican, didn't you?
Chelsea: I do!
Daisy: Hahaha tense confusion.



Daisy: Anyway yeah he's totally dead now.



Daisy: Say hi to that fucking impostor you live with for me. Tell her she's next.



I really need to lose those stupid signs.

A hundred years in the future.



I'm almost tempted to let that scenario play itself out.



Kenya: Speaking for the local lesbian community, I just want to say that we do not approve of letting yourself go like that.



Daisy: Is your cleavage really that awesome, or is the zombie skin making it look that way?
Vanessa: It's the zombie skin, yeah.
Daisy: Dammit, 'cuz I was gonna kill you and take that shirt. But now it hardly seems worth the effort.



Daisy: Although damned if I'm not getting back in the swing of my old hobby!
Vanessa: What's that?
Daisy: Come back to my place, and I'll show you my forehead etchings.



Vanessa: Or you could not kill me, and I could be your Best Friend!
Daisy: Best Friends I can deal with, but you're a zombie. You're immortal. And personally I can't stand Best Friends Forever.



Daisy: So basically you're toast.



Vanessa: But if you let me eat some brains first, there'll be even more people for you to kill!



Daisy: You must have been president of the debate club!



Daisy: Hey! You're that badass zombie-fighting cheerleader!
Ally: Not anymore. I'm a fucking maid now. And also a cop.
Daisy: So what's with the outfit?
Ally: FUCKING BUGGY EXPANSIONS, that's what.



Daisy: Oh-ho, returning to the scene of the crime, are we?



Daisy: Hoping to relive your licentious days of zombie sex and zombie murder?!
Cameron: You're not whispering. You realize that, right?



Daisy: Sorry! I'm just a bit of a history buff. Is it true you got most of the neighbourhood killed? Because you're a total bitch? That's what I heard, anyway.



Cameron: Yeah, but most of them were pretty ugly.



Daisy: I like your reasoning.



Daisy: I need to make a call.

I bet reception isn't great in that concrete bunker.

Daisy: There's a Resurrect-o-Nomitron in here. I know a dude who can unlock phones.



Cameron: Who you calling?
Daisy: It's a business call. Specifically, none of your business.



Daisy: Yeah! Hi! Remember what we were just talking about? I've discovered a great opportunity for you! Yeah! Where is it? Well... start naming all the places you know nearby, and I'll say "yes" when you hit it.
Cameron: Why are you talking like that? Are you trying to keep me from understanding what you're saying?
Daisy: Well, when in EAVESDROPPING BITCH, do as the EAVESDROPPING BITCHES force you to do!



Vanessa: That was the most complicated invitation I have ever received.

By default, being the only invitation you have ever received.



Cameron: Off already?
Daisy: I have to go do something! Unrelated to that phone call you weren't supposed to hear.
Cameron: You know, you're so bad at lying that it loops back around to amazing.

I have a similar theory about your appearance, Cameron.



Daisy: Don't just stand there! Fuck, no wonder you useless tits never took over the world.



Daisy: Great! Great. I hope they have disinfectant in the washrooms.



Daisy: Because now you have my death lipstick on your cheek.



Daisy: Make sure you start with the strawberry blonde chick! I hear they taste like strawberries. And stupid.



Cameron: I think I'm gonna go home.

And ruin Daisy's carefully-laid plan?

Cameron: I think the only thing around here less carefully-laid than whatever her plan is, is those women William bangs.



Kennedy: Oh shit, is this supposed to be a museum for zombies?!



Zombies! Evil denizens of darkness, etc. etc.



Daisy: Why'd you go home? I was just... ordering a cake! For you!



Daisy: Cake trick, works every time.
Katelyn: Do you trick a lot of retards?
Daisy: Well duh, I only work locally.



You actually fell for that?!

Cameron: No, but when someone uses the plot of Super Mario 64 to lure you in, you just have to see how it ends.



Daisy: Thanks for coming, Cameron. I needed you as backup, in case the unthinkable happens.
Vanessa: My script must have been missing these pages?



Daisy: Your time is up, sadistic master of the underworld!
Vanessa: She's just pretending. I bet they give her an award or something.



Daisy: That's the general idea, yes.



Vanessa: YOUR PROPS ARE TOO REALISTIC



Daisy: I love this museum's "fuck safety" protocols.



Nerissa: So, you catch that tennis match last night? Brutal.



The Grim Reaper: I'M LOSING TRACK OF THIS PLOT OF YOURS.
Daisy: What's a plot without a few good twists?



Lexi Wilson: Hi! I'm confused.
Daisy: You're in good company! Except with me, so let go of my hand.



Daisy: You all saw that! I saved the day and everything.
Nancy: Cecilia Phelps killed two zombies with an axe just the other day.
Daisy: Yeah well FUCK CECILIA PHELPS! ...recently, anyway. She used to be pretty cool. Before she got LAME.



Lexi: That was a "come hither" look you were giving me, right?
Daisy: Actually it was a "come hither" yell. I guess he cut that pic?

THREE HUNDRED PICS AS IT IS



Clay: Hey! Aren't you that guy who isn't fucking your ex-wife? Because I'm certainly not!
Stephen: That was actually pretty clever! Who wrote it for you?



Lexi: I didn't come here looking to help some evil scheme. I'm cruising for chicks.



Daisy: What a coincidence, I'm situationally gay!



Daisy: Anyway, I know this super-hot zombie chick who'd just love to go out with you! Only she's a zombie supremacist.



Daisy: She's so lesbian, she killed the neighbourhood's worst chauvinist! With an axe.



Daisy: And also her tongue is two feet long.



Lexi: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.



Lexi: Because this story sounds too good to be true!

No kidding, eh?



Lexi: Lucky for me my life is shit and this potion is extremely dangerous!



Lexi: Oh god, my head is killing me!
Daisy: Let me make it worse, then.



Daisy: Do you know "E Major Three Hundred Times in a Row"? It's my favourite.



Lexi: The things I do for pussy.



Lexi: I need a shower first, though. What's the point in dating chicks if they smell like shit? You might as well stay straight.



Daisy: How did people ever scheme with ADHD minions before cellphones?



Don: ADHD IS A MODERN PHENOMENON
Daisy: THE LITERATURE IS DIVIDED ON THAT QUESTION ACTUALLY



Don: I haven't been able to keep up on it. What with being a GHOOOOOOOOOOOSSSST



Daisy: I didn't know he was a goost!

It's hard to stretch a hard "o." Sue me.



Don: Goostin' like a... moose... tin!

I really don't miss you.



Victor: This is a little number I like to call "Applaud or I'll Arrest You."
Cameron: This is why nobody comes to the policemen's ball.



Daisy: My nefarious plans are in motion!

Pretty sure you're just making this shit up as you go along.

Daisy: What, and you aren't?



Then again, considering the class of person you're trying to deceive here...



Daisy: Hi! You're one of Poppy's dyke friends, right? Come over for a bit.



Debbie: I don't think you're supposed to call them that.
Daisy: You are when you don't know them but you want them to come over! Also I wouldn't go outside for a few minutes, unless you like raw egg.



Daisy: Going to check on Andrea?



Debbie: No, I was just pretending so you'd think I was doing my job. But you're down here now, so there doesn't seem to be much point.



Normally I'd say he's paid his dues, but we are talking about Lucas here.

And also, let's stop talking about Lucas here.



Kea: Are you Daisy? Did you just phone my house and call me a dyke?
Daisy: I thought that's what us dykes do, when we want to be dyke friends!



Kea: I guess that's possible, I don't know how far we've gotten in the whole "derogatory term reclamation" thing.



Debbie: Come on, drink! Your diaper is only half-full, and you don't want your mommy to think you're a quitter, do you?



Daisy: Speaking of quitters, you're fired.



Debbie: Well, that sure puts a cramp on Project Stain a Baby Outline Into the Carpet.



Debbie: And also your baby smells now for some reason.



Andrea: THERAPY



Debbie: Aww, her first word!



Kea: She might be a bitch, but she's got a hot tub in her basement. That's got to count for something.



Daisy: If the social worker comes, be sure to stress the fact that I didn't know that old lady was a transient.



Kea: So when are we gonna actually have our date?
Daisy: As soon as you drink that bottle of Totally Legitimate Date Juice on the floor behind you.



Kea: Sounds totally legitimate!



Kea: This date feels like necrosis!



Daisy: Good ol' Andrew. He had the good sense to build a weaponizing feature into his humanitarian science project from the start! Saves time.



Kea: But who's gonna save YOU?!



Daisy: Actually, this was the plan. Except the part where we did it downstairs on the concrete. I put soft carpet upstairs for this exact reason.



Kea: I still kicked your ass!
Daisy: Yeah, I've never really been clear on what part of a person's brains is supposed to be down there.



Daisy: I'm sorry I lied to you earlier, I didn't think you'd help me fight that zombie if you knew beforehand! But I really need your help, because there's another one in my house, and it's really scary! And also gay! I don't know if that matters, but I'm not taking any chances on gay zombie rape happening to me.
Kea: This date turned sour real fast.



Kea: Speaking of sour, who died in here?

Actually, he died out in the hall. What he did in here, he called art.



Daisy: I miss that revolting slob already.



Not in a big hurry, are you?

Cameron: On the one hand she says she's being chased by a zombie. On the other hand, not my problem.



Cameron: Look at this cheapass shit. Particle board! Pathetic.

I know some people think they're ringing a doorbell when they do this, but let me refer you to Exhibit A, otherwise known as NO FUCKING DOORBELL.



Daisy: You rangggg?
Cameron: It's not nice to contradict the Maker.
Daisy: If it's in the service of an Addams Family joke, it's fine.



Cameron: So, I take it I'm too late.
Daisy: Yeah, thanks. In my defense, I knew you were a useless twat when I called you.



Daisy: And for that, you die!
Cameron: Pretty sure it's not the worst thing I've done.



Cameron: And also I'm a professional whale rider.



Cameron: So there's that.



Daisy: Luckily, I'm a professional fuck your whales.



Cameron: That is not a real profession.



Daisy: Remember, Kea! Turn her zombie first! Then you can turn her gay.



Cameron: You can't turn someone gay!
Daisy: Apparently she can't turn someone anything. And also yes, in this game, you totally can.



Cameron: You have heard the definition of insanity, right, guys?



Kea: Well excuse us if our brains are a bit unsettled right now!



Daisy: At this point I think I'm rooting for the whale rider.



Cameron: Fight your instincts, guys! You have the power within you to heal yourselves!
Daisy: Aww, come on! I was just starting to get a crush on you for reals. Don't fuck it all up by being noble.



Daisy: Fine, blah blah blah, you saved my life, blah blah blah. Dammit.



Daisy: What a lovely aftertaste!
Kea: MY THROAT IS MELTING



Cameron: I'm glad I was able to help you guys.
Kea: I'M DISINTEGRATING
Cameron: No need to thank me.



The Grim Reaper: SO, I TAKE IT YOU WERE TRYING TO MAKE HER A ZOMBIE AGAIN.
Daisy: Yeah, but hey! Somebody ended up dying horribly, so the day wasn't a total loss.



Kea: Fuck you!



Daisy: Cameron, Cameron. You could have been my finest general.

Are you gonna explain this fucking plan to me at some point?



Daisy: Show, don't tell.



Kaylynn: Are you going to kill me again right away?
Daisy: What? Of course not! This cost me three thousand bucks!



Kaylynn: THINGS ARE LOOKING UP!



Kaylynn: Maybe I spoke too soon.
Lucas: THE POOP FROM MY GHOST HANDS IS STILL ON MY REAL HANDS!



Kaylynn: And they call me a monster.



Lucas: At least help Lucas Perez wipe the residue all over his clothes.



Kaylynn: Shit! I definitely came back wrong.



Daisy: And that's how you start a zombie army!
Andrea: THERAPY
Daisy: I need to teach you some swear words, at least.



Yes! Badass! ZOMBIES! Evil denizens of darkness! Sadistic masters of...



...disappointment.



Daisy: Disappointment's a pretty big deal around here, though.



Especially when you've got Andrew Murphy's genetics.



Kaylynn: Is for eat?
Daisy: If you can catch her, go for it. Little shit needs to learn to run eventually.



Daisy: If you need me, I'll be in my hidden palatial funhouse.



Lucas and Kaylynn: HIDDEN PALATIAL FUNHOUSE?!



Kaylynn: I call dibs on the chocolate fountain.
Lucas: Only if it is actually chocolate, and not a metaphor for something dark and steaming, will I allow it.



Kaylynn: Well, there's no chocolate fountain, but luckily, we can kill ourselves.



Lucas: Wait, chiquita! Lucas Perez has returned from his watery grave in your porcelain poop processor to wreak havoc on the world of the living with his giant necrotized man-sceptre!



Daisy: Actually, I just really wanted to kill you again.



Lucas: I can understand that.



Kaylynn: I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING



The Grim Reaper: THE ONLY PART I DON'T GET IS WHY YOU NEVER KILL HIM WHERE HE CAN'T CLIP THROUGH ALL YOUR SHIT.



Daisy: The first bottle is free, kid, but I expect you to be catching rats by late toddlerhood.



Daisy: She can cook them on the heating vents.



Oh, good. You've resurrected Houdini.



Sullivan: I wouldn't recommend it. That fucker's appendix burst after just one punch, and I didn't even have my brass knuckes on!

SULLY!

I've missed you so much!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, DAISY



Daisy: Evil begets evil. I thought everyone knew that.



Sullivan: I hope some of my pee is still there! I convinced an entire tribe in Ecuador that it has healing properties! If you pour it into your eyes.



Sullivan: Well... someone's pee is definitely in here.



Kaylynn: They usually only let me live long enough to piss myself, so.



Sullivan: No, no, no. This is all wrong. It's not rape if you start it!



Sam: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in terror, and then suddenly my dad was alive again, and that was much worse.



Kaylynn: Take a look! It's in a book. Your bleeding anus.



Sullivan: Could you at least sing it?



Sullivan: Look, I'm not saying I want to have sex with you. I'm just saying maybe you should try not to fall asleep while you're trapped in here with me.



Bradley: I HEAR SULLIVAN IS HERE

You didn't hear that.

Bradley: Okay, fine. I really want to read the paper, but someone stole mine.



Sullivan: Can't you go into the other room? This is private!
Kaylynn: Sure, I'll just pry a few bricks off and entomb myself in the fireplace.
Sullivan: That's all I'm asking!



Kaylynn: You know, this is just like when Randy Reiner and I were trapped in the basement of the Price Mansion! Man, we thought we'd NEVER get out of there!
Sullivan: How did you escape?
Kaylynn: We starved to death.



Bradley: I WAS THERE TOO, YOU KNOW.



Amin: Got any newspapers? I'm stealin' 'em today.



Daisy: Good god, dog, get out of my way already!
Sheba: .oO(KNEEL BEFORE YOUR QUEEN)



Amin: If there isn't a newspaper down your gullet, I'm gonna call the cops.



Daisy: Amin, no! Don't attack me for no reason and then flee the country, never to be seen again!
Roger: If I never see him again, I'll assume the rest is also true!



Daisy: Amin! Please don't look behind my trick bookshelf and discover all the nubile young women who want to have sex with you I've been hoarding all these years!



Repo Man: If those are real, I'll be taking them first.



Repo Man: If it really is the Queen of Sheba's harem, she can afford it.
Sheba: Woof!



Amin: Daisy! You became a sexy bookcase!



Amin: Well... this is almost as good.



Daisy: I ought to set up some sort of pneumatic feeding tube. This is too much work.



Amin: So this is what she meant when she said "Amin, come over so I can feed you to my hidden zombies"!



Huh?



No! Not the bathtub!

It's probably got something infectious on it, from being so close to the toilet!



Amin: This theme bar is terrible.



Repo Man: YOU DIDN'T GO TO UNIVERSITY ANY MORE







He stole the tub, and then made up the difference with as many seven-simoleon table lamps as he could find.

As you do.



Daisy: I really need to start using a wrist brace when I throw. I don't wanna end up with arthritis.



There are worse conditions going around here, though.



Repo Man: If you're interested, I'm gonna set up a romantically-lit bathtub in my house. You'll like it. It's yours.



Amin: I'm beginning to think there's no way out of here.

That's how I usually feel with these long-ass chapters.

Next time: the saga of the squatter prostitute resumes.

It's not what it sounds like.

Comments

( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
foulmouthtom
Feb. 14th, 2014 07:24 am (UTC)
You killed Lucas ! You Bastard !
Wait,no, he's back again.
Wait,now he's dead again.
You reanimated and zombified Sullivan ! You Legend !
All is forgiven.
P.S. Shouldn't it now say updates on Friday every fortnight ?

Edited at 2014-02-14 07:25 am (UTC)
gruglysims
Feb. 14th, 2014 07:42 am (UTC)
You made the right choice in the end, as did I.

IT UPDATES MORE OFTEN THAN IT GETS NOTICED.
simlili
Feb. 14th, 2014 11:45 am (UTC)
You are cruel, Grugly, if El Lucador was going to die with his jeans around his ankles, it should have been during another activity.

Speaking of dying! Was there any kind of rational background for these multiple turnings and deaths and resurrections, or were those just your OCD forcing you to kill sims in a certain (complicated) order? I remember there being some kind of rule about that in this neighbourhood, but I don't know if it still applies here, or what it was at all for that matter.

(P.S.: Way to miss commenting on the paper's convenient placement. I call that laziness.)
gruglysims
Feb. 14th, 2014 06:58 pm (UTC)
To be fair, Lucas is shitting all over everything no matter what he's actually doing.

I don't have any issues about when Sims die. Daisy is trying to create a zombie uprising for nefarious purposes. Lexi fucked off on her before she could make use of her, and Cameron refused to not be badass, so she's having to work from scratch. Lucas coming back was a sort of experiment; I wondered if I'd be happier with him as a zombie, but it turned out I just wanted him dead forever.

Similarly, Sullivan being dead was just no damn good.

What you're probably remembering is that I play each household for only one day, so everyone ages at the same rate. That's not even OCD, it just keeps the story coherently paced (sorta).

And wow, am I ever sorry I missed that one. Hmm. Edits might be in order.
simlili
Feb. 14th, 2014 07:13 pm (UTC)
It warms my heart to know that you DID try with Lucas.
And "zombie uprising for nefarious purposes", OK. That makes sense, for this journal anyway :p
gruglysims
Feb. 15th, 2014 06:57 pm (UTC)
It's worth bearing in mind that I created Lucas from scratch in Create-A-Sim. I'm reluctant to let my own creations go without giving them a chance to shine. Unfortunately, he shone brown.

"Zombie Uprising" is the current "storyline." It will hopefully be more interesting than the previous one, "Generation Meh."
ink_sec_sims
Feb. 15th, 2014 02:30 am (UTC)
Well, I guess you just can't keep a good zombie uprising down! Though why Daisy/Cecilia needs an army is beyond me. I mean, she's a one-woman murder show.

Your promise of Lucas's death was a high point in my life. As was both of Lucas's deaths. And the return of Sullivan.

Cameron probably just thinks the minute she becomes a zombie, all of the glory will be stolen by Melanie again.
gruglysims
Feb. 15th, 2014 07:01 pm (UTC)
The purposes would not be nefarious if they were also transparent.

We are agreed on these points.

Cameron mostly thinks she's lucky there's no jail, because she would have gone to jail if there was. And she doesn't want to tempt fate twice, because she knows I want to build a jail. Which I do.
ink_sec_sims
Feb. 15th, 2014 09:29 pm (UTC)
Fair enough, but I now wonder if they have anything to do with your new default icon. (Color-coded zombies! What more could the world ask for?)

Good points -- though do you really need a jail? Anyone who even slightly ticks off a main character seems destined for death sooner or later, and the main characters control such large swaths of the local infrastructure that there's no one who could arrest them. Also no jail could possibly hold Cecilia/William/Sullivan. (We've seen a jail hold Melanie -- eventually.)
gruglysims
Feb. 17th, 2014 04:29 am (UTC)
It has everything to do with my new default icon. It'll change ever 100 chapters to reflect major plot points to come.

There is a reckoning on the horizon.
ink_sec_sims
Feb. 17th, 2014 05:16 am (UTC)
Ooooh, interesting. . . .
lumy12
Feb. 15th, 2014 04:15 pm (UTC)
Yay the newspaper! Good ol' Sullivan, calling a spade a spade.

What?! Lucas won't live out the chapter? But he has 3 hot chicks drooling over him already, only a few frames in!

Oh good, at least that ugly zombie didn't kill him. And that was pretty neato how he defied the laws of physics and stuck his head through the brick wall. Sigh, good night, dear Lucas. I hope we see your ghost for many chapters to come.

...oh wait now he's a zombie! Rock on!

...for 5 minutes. Bah.

Maybe you like Lucas more than you let on. Since you play so far ahead and Lucas has (presumably) been dead for eons now, you only get to see him when you're updating this journal. Now you don't even have THAT to look forward to. You may find you miss his shitfetishing ass and have to bring him back for REAL! Yeah!

"And also your baby smells now for some reason" LOLOLOLOL. Poor little Andrea, I hope all this abuse builds character!

Cameron is my new hero.

WTF, repo man? Are they normally that lame? I'm more accustomed to the nannies who take children's toys in lieu of payment. Because waiting around to get paid from TODAY's wages when the Sim gets home from work is apparently not allowed.

I hope Sullivan saves the day and stays alive...
gruglysims
Feb. 15th, 2014 07:08 pm (UTC)
I occasionally feel that people need to be reminded who is who. Because they do.

Hot chicks drooling over them is not a good reason to spare someone. Haven't you heard "Rasputin"?

I think he does come back one more time, though. Not because I like him, but because I like seeing him suffer. If you go back to the Maker's Cut of Chapter One, I also have him roasting in my fireplace as a log. Fuck that guy. If he ever comes back, it will be for one final croaking.

It does! It breeds a villainous character.

Cameron is my favourite.

They try to take as close to the amount owing as possible. So sometimes they'll take a huge piece of furniture that has a depreciated value close to the bill, sometimes they'll nickel and dime you.

I don't think he's much inclined to day-saving, but he's never going to stay gone for long. I like him too much.
sushigal007
Feb. 20th, 2014 08:14 pm (UTC)
I missed the last few updates and read them all at once. Ending with Lucas dead, Sully alive(ish) and Daisy's budding zombie army was more than I ever knew I wanted.
gruglysims
Feb. 28th, 2014 07:22 am (UTC)
I was pretty happy about most of that at the time, too.
erthan
Feb. 25th, 2014 04:11 pm (UTC)
I totally missed the updates since you changed the tag.

Now when I got it tagged again I will pet my porn/murder kick with some Clover County madness.

Yay Sully is back and kicking.

I'm guessing "Daisy" will unleash her army on the Cecilia Phelps imposter :D
gruglysims
Feb. 28th, 2014 07:23 am (UTC)
I didn't even think about that when I did it.

It's still trying to get its madness back into gear.

Kicking babies! Into volcanoes.

Good guess! But who fucking knows.
redamancer
Sep. 3rd, 2014 04:57 pm (UTC)
LUCAZ PEREZ, NO!

My favourite chauvinistic poop-fetish pig :(
gruglysims
Apr. 4th, 2015 05:50 pm (UTC)
I'm glad he's dead.

How did it take me eight months to answer this?
porkwithbones
Jul. 3rd, 2015 09:28 pm (UTC)
In that fourth pic from the end, I'm amazed "Daisy"'s flaming Lucas thought balloon didn't set off that fire alarm directly behind it.
gruglysims
Jul. 4th, 2015 12:30 am (UTC)
Oh, the ghosts of jokes I didn't make.
porkwithbones
Jul. 4th, 2015 12:38 am (UTC)
Will show up in an unexpected by timely manner and kill the zombies of the ones you used to (un)death?
gruglysims
Jul. 4th, 2015 03:28 am (UTC)
At least I've never done something that convoluted.
porkwithbones
Mar. 18th, 2017 11:15 pm (UTC)
"Sullivan: Can't you go into the other room? This is private!"

As is the image this is captioning!
gruglysims
Mar. 18th, 2017 11:42 pm (UTC)
You're getting creative!
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )