Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates on Friday every week, and sometimes on Tuesdays!
Pine Valley: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3.
Blah blah blah intro intro intro.
Alright loser, time to stop wasting your life. Because you're wasting mine, too.
Stewart: Not everyone needs to get an education, you know.
Everyone who isn't going to be a moron does.
And I wouldn't like you when you're moron.
Brooke: HAHAHA ROBOT B.O.!
Case in point.
Stewart: Wow, they're opening a new university in Centreborough! And you know what that means!
Stewart: Lower requirements!
Stewart: I bet I could enroll my cat.
Shadow: .oO(I bet I could chase you up a tree.)
Stewart: You're the man of the house now, FRIDAY!
FRIDAY: I always was.
FRIDAY: Have a nice time at university, Master Stewart. Try not to come back so boring.
WEDNESDAY: Did he remind you about the boring thing?
WEDNESDAY: Thank you very much-o, Mr. Roboto, for doing the job nobody wants to!
FRIDAY: I really regret taking on this "listening to you sing Styx" job.
Stewart: Can you tell them I'm not enrolled in public school anymore?
Blazej: I can only communicate with honks.
Blazej: I think the girl behind us likes me.
Abigail: I thought Stewart already went to university.
That was Andrew. Forever ago.
Abigail: Which one was Stewart again, then?
The unremarkable one.
Abigail: They're all unremarkable!
THEY'RE ALL YOUR KIDS
I can see you're missing Stewart already.
Shadow: .oO(It's a lot easier to chew out your own ass when there isn't such an audience.)
Ocean: I hear you've got a few rooms to spare now!
WEDNESDAY: But no patience, unfortunately.
Ocean: I'd be her patient.
No. Patience. She said patience.
Ocean: 'cuz she's a sexy, sexy robot nurse.
Ocean: But my suit's about to rip!
WEDNESDAY: Things are much more orderly without those pesky parasites.
Ocean: So, how long have you guys been living with V'Ger?
Ocean: Lighten up, ladybot. You've got your whole life ahead of you!
WEDNESDAY: I'm immortal.
Ocean: What, really? Never mind, that's terrible.
FRIDAY: Yes, Mistress Abigail. As my creator, it is your right to take me bodily if you wish.
WEDNESDAY: And I might need to spend eternity alone, to boot.
Tyler Kramer: Pfffff. I could flamingo, if I wanted to.
Ocean: I've got your back, WEDNESDAY.
WEDNESDAY: That is sweet of you to say, Ocean.
Ocean: And I'll give it back to you, for a fair price.
Justus: No moon, no stars, pitch black. I'm fuckin' James Zombie Bond here.
Justus: Well thanks, nature.
Justus: I'll just drink my death juice.
FRIDAY: You do that.
Justus: MY DEATH JUICE TASTES LIKE DEATH
WEDNESDAY: Did you bring a bag? I've got it all right here.
Shadow: .oO(Speak to me...)
The Grim Reaper: NOT UNTIL YOU'RE OLDER.
FRIDAY: Are you missing Master Stewart, Shadow?
Shadow: .oO(It's no good trying to make me laugh!)
Shadow: .oO(And also you're hurting me in like fifty different places.)
FRIDAY: You contribute so much to this household, Shadow!
FRIDAY: It can be weighed, even.
FRIDAY: Are you being a moron again, WEDNESDAY?
FRIDAY: Count me in.
And this is why the robot revolution will never happen.
See also: the feline revolution.
Rosemarie: No hard feelings, right?
Rosemarie: Sorry I killed your brother!
Rosemarie: Have this fountain.
I think it's a fair trade.
FRIDAY: Somebody broke into our house and left a big wet chunk of concrete.
WEDNESDAY: Why would they do that?!
FRIDAY: I think that's a human mating ritual.
WEDNESDAY: Ohhh. Now I understand that big concrete hole they put in New York!
WEDNESDAY: They should have emptied out those pre-existing buildings first, though.
Brooke: Hi robots! You're offending a lot of people.
Fine, let's go to something less offensive then.
How about child abuse?
Rebecca: .oO(I CAN'T BREATHE)
Deborah: Priorities, Rebecca!
Deborah: Tidiness is the only thing that makes life worth living.
Rebecca: .oO(Tell that to my dad.)
Deborah: Hey, William? I just wanted to call and see if they caught the bitch who killed my Lucas.
Deborah: ...Deborah. Deborah! THE ONE WITH THE PINK DRESS!
Deborah: We've had sex!
Deborah: Wow... really? That many?
Deborah: Should I get checked for anything, then?
Deborah: ...I've never even heard of vaginal rabies.
Deborah: Maybe that's how you get dog-faced boys!
Elle: ...I really need to know what the first half of that thought was.
Rebecca: .oO(FUCKING STOP IT)
Stinky Skunk: .oO(They have so many skunk feeders in this neighbourhood! It's really catching on.)
Stinky Skunk: .oO(Too bad some vandal keeps filling them with garbage.)
Deborah: After a hard day at work, it's nice to come home to my-
Deborah: -stinking hole of what the fuck.
Deborah: ...what the fuck is this?
What the fuck is that?!
Deborah: I don't know why I talk to you, William. It's like making an obscene phone call to yourself.
Deborah: If you love me, you'll come over.
Deborah: I should have thought that one through.
Caryl: I'm starting to think Boo Radley must live here.
Alvin: Ahhhhh. That was fun.
Alvin: I've been marathoning Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri all night.
Alvin: And I just finished masturbating to the screenshots.
OH FOR FUCK'S
Yeah, it's about time this place got a touch of class.
Welcome to Yellowhaus.
Kitty: Does the black represent me?
No, it represents how awful it would look if it was literally all yellow.
Kitty: Hey, yellow counters!
Sunny side down! That's how I like my eggs! Nonsensical.
Kitty: Hey, yellow fridge and microwave oven!
Give it a few years, they'll both be beige. And it'll turn out that yellow plastic is a carcinogen.
Kitty: Hey, yellow food processor!
You're saying "hey" to these things, aren't you. Like... you're greeting them.
Kitty: Took you long enough.
Kitty: Most people figure out how lame I am a lot faster than that.
Prof. Johnson: Speaking of which, I am here for your paper and/or garbage can.
Kitty: Good, 'cuz I've got the water mains covered already.
Prof. Johnson: I accept your apology!
Prof. Johnson: AND your newspaper.
Anna: What the hell is this?!
It's the van you came in.
Anna: Oh, so that's the official story now, is it?
Anna: Agent Mulder understands me.
Alvin: They said I needed a promotion!
Really? The secret agents said that? To you?!
Alvin: Yeah! They said I needed to be in danger more often.
Alvin: Apparently if none of us get shot for a long time, the public thinks we're not doing our jobs. And they nominated me unanimously at the office! I'm gonna bake them a butt cake.
You mean bundt cake.
Alvin: No, Lucas left me a recipe.
Did it involve baked brains?
Well, I guess this explains WikiLeaks.
What exactly are you doing?
Anna: Anything but that.
Prof. Johnson: When I leave the can for later, it's almost like I have a reason to live for most of the day!
Prof. Johnson: I can't wait to print my book, Revenge for the Soul.
Alvin: Guess I'd better take this inside.
Alvin: 'cuz I'm dumb.
I always feel like that.
Then again, my head is gigantic.
Kitty: Got promoted again!
What are you now? A Zoomba specialist? Or do you teach lap dances? Or maybe DON'T TELL ME I KNOW IT'LL BE STUPID.
Kitty: Hi honey! Why do you smell like fire?
This is what you do with two odd socks, people.
They belong together.
Kitty: Wanna have sock sex?
Alvin: I already did! After I helped colonize Alpha Centauri this morning.
Alvin: Don't pay any mind to mommy, Ivy. Daddy is a space colonist.
Wait... you do realize that's a computer game, right? You're not actually controlling a space colony.
Alvin: Pff. That's just the official story. This was the only way they could sell the West on continuing the space program.
Kitty: Have you been talking shit again?
Alvin: Did you forget to say hi to the stairs?
Kitty: FUCK. Hey, balustrade! Hey, Japanese thing! Hey...
Kitty: Pantheism sucks.
Alvin: Theism sucks.
Alvin: My wife sucks!
Alvin: And it's pretty much okay.
Anna: I'm sure there's a reason that toilet speaks in tongues.
It used to be an altar for some pretty horrific rituals.
Alvin: Which isn't to say I don't still eat a lot of bran!
Anna: The Cigarette Smoking Man says hello, Mrs. Woodrow.
Kitty: Tell him he's a jerk.
Anna: Hey, naked idiot! Hey, broken television!
Kitty: New outlook, new haircut!
You're not gonna fingershoot all the furnishings anymore?
Kitty: Sure I am! I'm just gonna watch more X-Files now, so I can get all these stupid jokes you're making.
Alvin: Man, this is awesome!
Alvin: Good nothing is on!
Ivy: .oO(I'M GLAD I WON'T REMEMBER THIS)
Anna: Oh my god, she called you an oven? Who does that anymore?
Kitty: Hey, totally fired bitch!
Hey, chapter ending!
Next time: I dunno, domestic shit or something.
I'm sure the women will like it.
- Current Mood:postprandial