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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 124


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates on Tuesday and Thursday every week!



Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1.

The Chronicles Return! I mean that.

I've got over twenty chapters written and ready to go, you see.

And images for about five hundred more, but that's beside the point (and kinda depressing).

Okay! Seven update days in a row, starting...

NOW!




Ember: Feed me, slave!
Ally: Do you realize how racist that sounds?
Ember: Nope! So it can't be.



There's a joke here.

I can feel it.



Ember: Wow! You really put a lot of work into these! I'm impressed!



Ember: But you took too long. I'm off to work.



Ember: Throw them all out.



Gerald: The class and racial politics of this household have me a bit bewildered, to be honest.



Stephen: "...to be honest, Mr. Murphy, sir."



Ally: You're not a senator anymore. You're a painter.



Stephen: And you're a piece.



Stephen: Objectification is hot when it comes from an artist.



Ally: But I've got this hotness all to myself!



Gerald: WHAT IS IT I DON'T EVEN



Craig: Well hello there, baby. You're lookin' fine today!
Roger: Are you talking to me?



Roger: OH GOD NOW I SEE IT



Craig: IT'S MORE THAN I CAN TAKE

WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS



Ally: BREAK INTO MY VAGINA, CHERRY THIEF!

WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT?!



Wren: .oO(WHY DO YOU ALL KEEP YELLING?!)



Because it distracts us from the banality.



Ember: Nonsense. That's what we're for.



Ember: Introducing Team Hot Redhead Lawyers!



Kelly Chun: I'm not sure I want to play this sport.



Kelly: Ugh, you really need to cover that thing up.



Ember: HAVE YOU NO DECENCY

I'm going to start calling this glitch "Gategate."



And I'm going to stop documenting this entirely.



Ally: I'm surprised you fit all three of them into one bag.
Gerald: I had to squish the girl a bit.



I think if you guys touched, you'd explode.

Or melt into the floor, like in Timecop.



Kelly: I call not doing that.



Gerald: You're everything I ever dreamed of, baby.
Kelly: You dream about people finding you unattractive?



Phoebe: MY EYES!



Kelly: I'm not here for pleasure. Ember and I are discussing a very important case.



Gerald: Is it a brief case, at least?

I'm so proud of myself.



Kelly: You doing anything tonight? Puns are my secret fetish.

I can see why you'd want to keep that a secret.



Gerald: I'm either doing nothing, or two things.
Kelly: How so?
Gerald: I'm either not seducing you, or I'm seducing you and then being murdered by my wife.



Kelly: What's up with the help, Ember?
Ember: They think they're real people.



Ember: Now let's go over the State vs Power Company brief again.



Emily: WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES
Ally: I BET A BURGLAR TOOK THEM



Stephen: Sure is dumb bitches out here today.



Gerald: I met a new person today!
Ally: Lawyers aren't people, Gerry.



Speaking of not people!



Ember: We're working on it.



Gerald: You've been working on it in my mind allllll...
Ally: I will cut you.



Stephen: Can we hurry this along? These diapers won't hold.
Kelly: Where is that smell coming from? It's not the bathroom...



Kelly: Mr. Murphy! Your pheremones are even stronger than baby poop!
Stephen: They've had to evolve. I have ten kids.



Kelly: If you ever need to double up on your reproduction rate...
Gerald: WOO! TALKING ABOUT THE BABIES NOW! WOOOOOO!



Xavier: .oO(She blows like a professional.)



Wren: .oO(And she boobsmashes like a champion.)



Based on his personality, Xavier's Aspiration will be Boring.



Stephen: Just like daddy!



And Wren's will be Romance, which I don't want to talk about while she's a toddler.



It's really awkward for everyone involved.



Gerald: If I dump my wife for you, will you handle the divorce?
Kelly: Conflict of interest. Also you can't afford me.



I hope you bought him something good, because he's not getting very many more birthdays.



Kelly: Wanna play a game?



Kelly: It's called structural integrity testing!



Kelly: Ooh, that's not good.



Xavier: .oO(I've been upstairs now!)



Why aren't you helping?

Gerald: I picked the only activity here which responds to rationality.



Kelly: I am also responding to things.



Ember: Respond to this.



Kelly: Sorry pal. I'm a lawyer. I know a respondant's duties.



Ember: Full marks for trying, honey.
Stephen: Enh. I mostly try to avoid women who understand the letter of the law, anyway.



Stephen: For sexual reasons.



Ember: Show me.



Ally: I'm being cheated on!

No, see, you're married to the other dude.

Ally: Don't argue with me! I don't respond to rationality!



Ally: But I do respond to French maid outfits.
Gerald: I knew there was a reason you used to be a lesbian.



Gerald: If you meet a woman who's sexier than me, will you leave me for her?
Ally: Who are you kidding? I've never met a woman who wasn't.



Gerald: Luckily I have a shame fetish.



Ember: Our love is a special snowflake, Stephen.
Stephen: Our partnership is unique.
Ember: We're incomparable.



CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.





Challenge complete.



Xavier: .oO(Where's the endgame content in this shit?)



Stop making that face.

I don't want to know what sick thing you're thinking about.

I know your mother too well.



Stephen: Did you know about her mismatched ceiling tile fetish? Bet you didn't.



What a coincidence! That's how I feel about Jerry too.



I put their bedroom upstairs, but their toddler beds downstairs so they can hang out with you guys until they become children.

Stephen: I hear what you're saying.



Stephen: You're saying there's an empty room upstairs where I can avoid my kids.



Ember: Your dogged avoidance of personal responsibility is a real turn-on, I have to admit.



Stephen: I feel the same way about your consistent failure to wake up before your carpool gets here.



Ember: SHIT



Stephen: House is empty. Not pickin' up shit.



Ally: Gerald and the kids are still there.

Empty of sentient life, he means.

Notice he didn't mention the womrat either.



Jerry: .oO(Peekaboo!)
Gerald: OH MY GOSH! You scared me!



Jerry: .oO(Adults are so stupid.)



Gerald: Get the fuck away from that.



Gerald: Now sit here until this can is full of shit.



Gerald: Like my life.

Next time: our protagonists do some protagonizing.

But not, you know, a lot.

Recent Posts from This Journal

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
bellemistoire
May. 12th, 2015 01:36 am (UTC)
Welcome back!
gruglysims
May. 12th, 2015 06:48 am (UTC)
Thanks! This chapter sucks.
simlili
May. 12th, 2015 03:01 pm (UTC)
Even random base game build objects are shocking in your game now, that's saying something.


gruglysims
May. 12th, 2015 06:14 pm (UTC)
Nothing good, though.
getmygameonn
May. 19th, 2015 10:28 am (UTC)
I should smack u w a pillow for those horrible puns lols xD
gruglysims
May. 19th, 2015 06:08 pm (UTC)
Yes.
lumy12
May. 23rd, 2015 02:00 am (UTC)
Yay you're back! (delayed reaction)
Yeah yeah so I'm behind. I figure I can take my sweet time catching up and maybe it will stretch into the time when you're not posting?

Gategate is an amusing glitch, you gotta admit.

Stephen: Sure is dumb bitches out here today.
There's always one thing in each update that makes me laugh for no good reason :)

Mismatched ceiling tiles! Gasp! I only use ceiling tiles to help lay out upper stories of houses I'm building. I never have to take pics though.

AWUH the toddlers are so cute, let them all live! Er, you're way ahead of this. Go back in time and let them live?
gruglysims
May. 23rd, 2015 09:41 pm (UTC)
As long as people are realizing I'm alive again, and actually respond favourably to it, I don't care how slowly they read.

Gategate was amusing the first hundred and seventy-six times.

No good reason laughs are the best. I often find it's the throwaway crap jokes I put in just to move on to the next pic that become my favourites on review. Usually they involve that sort of comically broken English. (Simlish?)

The sad thing about the ceiling tiles is that Pine Valley was created after I had all the expansions and all the stuff packs save for Crappy Holiday Shaft. Meaning there was never any acceptable reason for all the white stucco roofs visible throughout the journal.

Most of these ones live.
foulmouthtom
May. 23rd, 2015 01:59 pm (UTC)
Gerald: Get the fuck away from that.

Weirdly enough that's a fairly innocent interpretation for that picture ....
gruglysims
May. 23rd, 2015 09:44 pm (UTC)
I wasn't ready to go that route yet.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )