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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 207


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206.
Sharpesvale: 737.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.

And now for something completely pink.

Last time in the Clover County Chronicles...

I honestly can't pretend anything happened.




Who the fuck is this?



They sure look promising, whoever they are.



Ohh, right.

Zombie Kaylynn.

Seen here in a rare not-being-killed pic.



Kaylynn: I'm sure it won't last.



Kaylynn: I'm mad at that chick for jacking Melanie's style.



Kaylynn: Okay, I'm settled in. Come tell me my awesome secret identity.



Daisy: She should have specific awesome earlier.



Brandi: How's evil tricks?
Daisy: Good, good.



Brandi: Let me know if you need any diabolical deeds done.



Daisy: At least she didn't ask me how far along I am. I hate that.



Daisy: And just imagine the lectures if they saw me doing THIS.



Daisy: I'm pregnant, not elderly.



Kaylynn: Hey there! You're not going to kill me now, right? It's just that I've been sensing a theme over the last twenty years.



Daisy: I'm here to un-kill you, sister.



Daisy: Okay, ENTROPY set up an evil secret identity for you.
Kaylynn: Does it have to be evil?
Daisy: No, that's a bonus.



Daisy: I'm just gonna check the details at headquarters.
Kaylynn: ENTROPY has a headquarters?
Daisy: Yeah, the Simnational Revenue Service. Obviously.



Daisy: Ugh, enough of the grovelling, I'm already feeling sick as it is.



Daisy: Just give me the basic info. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Wow! That's pretty gay.



Kaylynn: Well?
Daisy: Your new name is Renée Newheart.
Renée: This is pretty gay.



Renée: Okay, bye!
Daisy: You're not gonna invite me to stay for lunch?
Renée: Renée Newheart doesn't consort with criminals.



Daisy: I don't think I'm gonna like her.



Daisy: She should consider that carefully.



Renée: Dear Diary, do you still recognize me? Now that I'm French?



Renée: I just realized what I did. Come over for lunch and please don't kill me.



Daisy: You're not as stupid as you everything, Renée.



Daisy: But I don't trust you to cook.



Daisy: This evil witness protection scheme is delicious!



You really need to kill someone, your villainy is decaying rapidly.



Daisy: Speak of the devil!



Kyle: Pretty sure I can just barge in here.



Kyle: And boogie.



Renée: Please don't kill anyone in my house.
Daisy: Why?
Renée: It defeats the purpose of starting a new identity.
Daisy: Okay, but that's your problem.



Daisy: Alright, now it's big enough for both of us.



Daisy: I'm fat.



Andrew: I'm crunk.



Renée: He's so crunk!



Renée: Hello there handsome!
Andrew: Chicks dig the beard.



Andrew: And the beard digs them back!



Kyle: You're not fat, you're pregnant.
Daisy: I'd rather just be fat.



Andrew: Hey, congratulations on your wedding!
Daisy: Why? It's not an accomplishment or anything.



Daisy: He's lucky to have me, though.
Kyle: Yeah, if he likes fat chicks.



Daisy: See, that's why I made the comment first. So I wouldn't have to kill anyone for making it.



Renée: Look out! It's a good guy!
Daisy: I hate those!



Daisy: Is he hiding in the chip bag somewhere?
Andrew: I like this show.



Renée: Incoming karma!



Daisy: MY WATER BROKE



Daisy: You've got some balls on you, woman.



Daisy: Look out, it's Mr. Darcy!
Renée: WHICH ONE?! WHERE?!?!



Daisy: Family Sims are too easy to prank.



Renée: So, how do I get this zombie shit fixed?
Daisy: I was starting to think you'd fetishized it or something.



Renée: So that wasn't an answer.



Daisy: Hit me.
Andrew: Keep your obvious entrapment to yourself.



Daisy: Hey, calm down! I only play a serial killer on TV.
Andrew: Convincingly.



Andrew: So hey, who's the lucky papa?
Daisy: That doesn't strike you as a rude question?
Andrew: Sure it does, but don't I strike you as a rude dude?



Renée: Thanks for all your help, Daisy.
Daisy: Seems legit.



Daisy: IT SEEMED LEGIT



Daisy: I don't know whether to kill you or kill you twice!



Renée: We need to establish a plausible backstory. How about this: I hate you for ruining my life, and you hate me because I'm a reminder of how many lives you've ruined!
Daisy: I hate you for that idea.



Renée: This bitch ruined my life! And totally had nothing to do with setting it up. And also she farted.



Kyle: Haha! I believe it!



Daisy: You don't need to make up a backstory. You're an ex-townie. Nobody cares about you.
Renée: I hate this bitch! She doesn't care about townies! Daisy White doesn't care about townies.



Daisy: Renée Newheart eats babies.



Kyle: Hahaha! That's so gross!



Kyle: Or is it.



Daisy: I like the theme of this party.



Andrew: Haha look this zombie is drinking some random shit!



Daisy: DON'T INTERRUPT MY PERFORMANCE.



Andrew: It's so nice to see fights where nobody dies for a change.



Well, we'll see.



Wow! That potion even brings back dead clothing!



Andrew: It's good to see you again, Kyle.
Kyle: I don't remember you.



Renée: Man, fuck that Daisy chick, am I right?
Andrew: Been there, done that.



Renée: I think the sexy fat country singer look works for me.



Andrew: Remember when we used to play catch back home?
Kyle: Burning to death takes up a lot of memory space, Andy.



Renée: So that's why you're so hot!
Andrew: Ugh.



Ugh.



Renée: I'm playing a game! With friends!

For given definitions of "game" and "friends."

Renée: You've seen my life so far.

True.



Daisy: I'd better leave, I'm getting even shiftier-looking.



Kyle: Check it out! Two chicks hugging! Hot.



Renée: Give me all your fattiest fat food!



Renée: We'll need it to counteract all this strenuous exercise.



Andrew: Welp, that was pretty boring.
Renée: And simultaneously the best day of my life.



Andrew: So, they're both evil.
Kyle: Yeah, definitely.



Renée: Why are you still here?
Daisy: Because you can't carry an entire chapter by yourself?



Ratna: Anybody order some ridiculously heavy crap?



Renée: Why are you walking like that?
Ratna: Why is your face like that?



Renée: Yeah, fuck you too.



I take it this is another character-building exercise.

Renée: Nobody would suspect a fat chick of being a former cheerleader!

Hmm.



And nobody would imagine a former cheerleader having such sucky parties, either.

Renée: WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MY PARTY



Garbage goes on floor forever.



And ever.



Et cetera.



Renée: Bam! It's paunch time.



Renée: I don't know whether to be pleased or throw up.



Fat Sims!

Kinda more attractive that way.



Kaylynn: I wish you'd take more sleep pics so I could sleep longer.



I have to save space for underwear pics.



Et cetera.



So Renée Newheart is a paramedic, huh?

Renée: I sure hope I can The Fugitive my way around having absolutely no medical knowledge.



Considering you're already a fugitive...

Renée: I'm in good company.



Renée: Not, like, right now, though.
Berjes: Hey, thanks.

Next time: the chapter that comes after this one.

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Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Aug. 27th, 2016 02:29 am (UTC)
Of COURSE secret identities have to be evil! Like, duh.

DAISY ALWAYS LOOKS SHIFTY

I wondered why she ordered Chinese at the end of the party! Yeah, the "fat" Sims are SO not fat. I heard they're fatter in Sims 3. No idea about Sims 4 since I don't talk to ppl anymore. Fat country singer look? Hawt.

Aww, lookie the old Kyle pics! What a dork. Hey Kyle! Dude -- don't you know how horny pregnant chicks are? You might wanna sweettalk this one instead of calling her fat.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )