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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 213


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212.
Sharpesvale: 737.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.

In which consent laws are suitably enforced.

How's that for edgy.




Brittany: Okay, so here's the plan. You go in there and, like, be a big dumb jerk in her face, then I'll come in, save the day, and have my molars deep in crotchcave before the sun rises!
Amar: Wow! That was DISGUSTING!



Brittany: Yeah, I'm pretty proud of it.



Amar: Just so we're clear - this chick is the sister of that TV chick, right.
Brittany: Yeah.
Amar: Maybe I can get an autograph! After I pork her.



Somebody wants to screw you.

Poppy: I'm too busy screwing other people.



Poppy: You'd be amazed, the signing bonuses all these local companies offer.



Amar: Is she a good lay? From your weird lesbian perspective?



Brittany: ...you probably don't need to know.



Michael: If Poppy's just gonna sell this,tell me and I'll return it myself.



Poppy: Oh, the baby's kicking.



Poppy: ...the what.



Amar: I don't think I like your plan.
Brittany: I WILL MOVE YOU BODILY INSIDE



Brittany: Actually, yeah, forget it. You look like a crazy rapist or something.



Amar: Heheheh. I'm not crazy.
Brittany: You. Sidewalk. Now.



Poppy: PUKE THE PAIN AWAY



Amar: Look. You want to get back at this chick, just make out with me.
Brittany: Where she can see us?
Amar: Ugh, that sounds terrible.



Brittany: I want her to notice when I get back at her, pal. I'm not going for a moral victory.



Brittany: Okay, you can be my fake boyfriend.
Amar: I wish that wasn't the best offer I've ever gotten.



Amar: If I squint, you're kinda cute. I'm in.



Brittany: So now we kiss?
Amar: I don't know! I've never gotten past home plate with a chick.



Brittany: OH POPPY YOU CAUGHT US
Amar: IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.



Brittany: It is, though.
Amar: Nah, definitely not.
Brittany: STOP OGLING HER AND GROPE ME DAMMIT



Brittany: Or... don't, actually, now that I see you in the light.



Brittany: I MEAN WOW THIS DUDE IS HOT HEY POPS?



Poppy: Did you just yell something or was it my bowels?



Brittany: Oh, you big dumb manly man. That's what straight chicks like right?



Brittany: She had better be getting this, because it is hard.



Amar: Other things are hard, too.



Brittany: This is the worst fake date I've never been on.



Brittany: Luckily she can't see us behind this split screen.



That wasn't a split screen, the camera was just clipped through a wall.



Brittany: Shit.



Brittany: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE STRAIGHT IF YOU HADN'T PRETENDED TO BE GAY



Brittany: Also I might be bi.



Amar: Bi-sexy!



Amar: Bi-sexier!



Amar: We've gotta do something with that hair, though.
Poppy: Mf. Strangle you with it.



Your pretend boyfriend is missing.

Brittany: I'll pretend to worry.



Amar: I'm glad they had this fancy rich-person barricade.



Amar: Ooh yeah baby, let me objectify you.



Poppy: If I open my eyes, will I see something you'll regret?



Poppy: Oh, look, you have one of those. Well aren't you special.



Poppy: Good bye, serial skulker.



Amar: Aw, I thought you'd go easy.
Poppy: And I thought you'd go... like... away.



Poppy: Um, no, sorry, women have been people for at least a hundred years.



Poppy: You'd be amazed how many special rights your sad little prick doesn't grant you.



Amar: I thought all lesbians secretly wanted dick!
Poppy: Thanks for that legacy, Gigli.



Amar: It smells like toothpaste down here.



Poppy: Self-defense?

So utterly.



Amar: I'll give you something to defend!
Poppy: STOP GIVING ME THINGS



Poppy: In SimSoviet SimRussia, bitch chokes YOU!



Amar: I WANT YOUR LOVE, NOT YOUR CONSENT



Brittany: This is not my favourite plan ever.



Brittany: I should intervene, but they're all the way upstairs.



Poppy: And now, I shall insert this barre in you.



Amar: Can you wear a cheerleader costume when you do it?



Brittany to the rescue!



Poppy: ON THIS VERY SPECIAL EPISODE OF THE CLOVER COUNTY CHRONICLES



Poppy: WE MAKE A DEFINITIVE STATEMENT ON SEXUAL ASSAULT



Amar: Oh no, it's Build Mode outside!



Poppy: Let me axe you a question.



Poppy: WHY WOULD YOU BRING RAPE TO A LIBERAL PARTY



Such support.



Whuck.

Amar: So wait, am I still getting laid?



Poppy: YOU'VE GOT ALL THE GASH YOU'RE GETTING



Poppy: Heehee.



Poppy: Score one for the ladies! Masters of our own bodies.
The Grim Reaper: EXCEPT WHEN THE GRIM REAPER COMES.
Poppy: Sure, but that never happens.



Brittany: Is somebody dragging damned souls over the carpet upstairs?



Poppy: I'm trying to figure out how to blame this on Michael.



Brittany: OH NO HE SEEMED SO NICE



Brittany: See if I ever lend you my dudes again!



Poppy: Oh, you're laying claim to the ATTEMPTED RAPIST are you?
Brittany: BETTER THAN THE AXE MURDERER



Poppy: Not really? At all?



Poppy: IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M BISEXUAL, STUPID
Brittany: IT'S NOT MY FAULT I AM EITHER



Poppy: Wait, you...? When did THAT...?



Poppy: ...this is also assault, you know.



Brittany: Oh, Amar. We shall not see your like again.



Poppy: STOP CRYING FOR HIM, ARGENTINA



Poppy: WHY HELLO THERE MEN'S RIGHTS ACTIVISM, I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE
Brittany: ...what're you...?



Poppy: EAT CARPET, MISOGYNY!
Brittany: Hmm. Word choice?



Poppy: THE ONLY SUCKING YOU'LL GET IS FROM A VACUUM CLEANER, PUNK!



Brittany: Can I just say that I'm a little bit turned on right now.



Brittany: Is this a "no"?



Brittany: Yes, it's a "no"?



Poppy: That was a fun little adventure.

I've just -really- wanted to kill a man lately.

Next time: a totally innocent reunion.

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Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Jan. 1st, 2017 05:13 pm (UTC)
Oh no, it's build mode outside! Teehee!

I thought for sure Brittany was gonna get it. Hmmm, wonder when her number is up...

No more mohawk for Grimmy, eh?
gruglysims
Jan. 3rd, 2017 05:37 am (UTC)
Guess I must have reformatted at some point. When you fuck with/fuck up Grimmy's appearance he gets fucked with/fucked up in your actual game files.

Edited at 2017-01-03 05:38 am (UTC)
porkwithbones
Mar. 22nd, 2017 10:11 pm (UTC)
Wow. Somehow, I completely missed this one previously. I like Brittany a whole lot less now than I did.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )