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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 215


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214.
Sharpesvale: 737.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.

And now for something completely indifferent.

At least it's short.




Deborah: Can we be civil to each other this time?

Boring nobodies don't have civil rights.



Deborah: I've been thinking of starting a support group for characters near the killing-off threshold. You in?



Brittany: FOR SOME REASON



Deborah: Hey, you're kinda cute!
Brittany: Wow, thanks! You're too repulsive to look at, though.



Brittany: I'm serious, I think you cause retinal scarring.



Deborah: I can try, if you like.



Solidarity forever.



What.

Deborah: HELP



Deborah: Okay! Off to work.

What just hap-

Deborah: OKAY OFF TO WORK



Okay.



Yay! I forgot you existed.



Wow, it's an entire household of that!



Jerome: What do you think of daddy's outfit, princess?
Shiloh: Where were you working, the YMCA?



Shiloh: You're so stupid daddy, I love you.



Jerome: I'll take what I can get.



Rebecca: I'm special.

As Deborah's daughter, you'd have to be.

Rebecca: I mean the good kind of special.

I don't know what that is.



Nick: Everybody loves me. I'm a cool kid.
Jerome: TELL ME YOUR SECRETS.



Carolina: Wow, a B+! Way to go, kid!
Rebecca: I got an A+.
Carolina: Anything higher than a B+ is a lie.



Jerome: Beat it, kid, or I'll run you over with my car.



Nick: Like how you ran your ex-wife over with your car?
Jerome: Exactly! Except nobody will miss you.



Rebecca: Is a little respect too much to ask for?
Carolina: Pretty much, yeah.



Rebecca: They're ignoring me, mommy.
Deborah: Do what I do: plot to kill them all eventually.



Jerome: Who the heck is that?
Carolina: Is that woman with you, Nick?
Nick: All women are with me.



Rebecca: DIE



Deborah: The word is "catch," stupid.



Shiloh: Don't go easy on me 'cuz I'm a girl. Go easy on me 'cuz I'm a pretty girl.



Nick: A pretty dead girl!



Deborah: I think we need to set up some boundaries.
Jerome: Set the first one up outside the door when you leave.



Nick: YOU'RE CUTE. Bang! Got you with cooties.



Shiloh: Are word cooties a thing?



Shiloh: And then he tried to give me a concussion.
Rebecca: ♪ Shiloh's got a boy-friend! ♪



Shiloh: What does he do when we get married, shoot a missile at me?



Jerome: Deborah, I've been thinking. Wouldn't you be a lot happier with your own house?
Deborah: This is my own house.
Jerome: I try not to think about that.



Jerome: Okay, new topic. Rebecca! You need to teach her how to study.
Deborah: Um, no? She's gonna grow up cute. All she needs to learn is how to manipulate smarter people.



Nobody is calling you. Nobody knows you.

Shiloh: That's not what my imaginary friend says!



Shiloh: She is also my imaginary therapist.



Jerome: What a wonderful life we have here!
Vicki: Be a shame if somebody SHIT ON IT



Jerome: Don't look at the axe murderer. Her visual acuity is based on movement.



Deborah: Yep, you were right! That is a re-used joke.
Carolina: Even better, look here! THIS is a re-used joke too!



Shiloh: YOU're a re-used joke.



Jerome: Hey baby.
Carolina: Not funny.



Not funny either.



Jerome: Watch out for the vast blue emptiness!
Deborah: Will do.



There, happy now?



I think these sleeping arrangements need to be... re-arranged.

Deborah: THANK you!

I think Deborah's bed should go outside.



Jerome: I'd be pretty pumped about sleeping with my wife...



Carolina dreams about the only way a school teacher can get rich.



A dream come true!



Jerome: I don't know about this, it feels like we're stealing from the people.

That's a pretty poor attitude for a city planner!



Deborah: Hey kid, what's happening?
Rebecca: Don't pander.



Deborah: Hello, all my sexy girl friends! Let's stand around in our underwear and talk about pop culture!

This isn't working.



Deborah: THEN WE CAN DO JOKES ABOUT BEING MARRIED

THIS ISN'T WORKING

Deborah: MARRIED PEOPLE LOVE THOSE JOKES!



Carolina: If you kill her, try to do it in a way that doesn't wreck any of my stuff.



Carolina: But definitely do kill her.



Elle: I AM YOUR MAID, NOT YOUR FRIEND. You can't buy friendship!



I beg to differ.

Next time: The House of Black and Yellow.

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Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Jan. 1st, 2017 08:57 pm (UTC)
I feel kind of sorry for Deborah, but if you gotta kill someone in this house, better her than Jerome, my wee-pee-peed little man.

I think you can re-use jokes every 100 chapters or so... unwritten law? With our crappy memories you could get away with it every 50 :)
gruglysims
Jan. 3rd, 2017 05:39 am (UTC)
I can't even pretend to not find her boring. I just can't.

I'm sure I'd remember my jokes more often if I posted more often.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )