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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 216


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215.
Sharpesvale: 737.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.

Meanwhile in Alvania...

I'm yellow, da ba dee da ba die.




Ooh, vivacious. They sure are alive, alright.



Alvin: I need at least three more friends before the end of the day.
Iris: Do they have to actually like you, or can I threaten them into cooperating?
Alvin: I have a government job, baby. Threatening is always an option.



Iris: Oh, I see, I see! Very interesting! Now write my husband a reference or I'll send ninjas to kill you.



Iris: Yes, I'm serious. Actual ninjas. With certificates and everything.



Iris: Nice to meet you too! How would you like to live to the ripe old age of tomorrow?



Iris: Look, I'm just asking you to lie about Alvin. I'm not making you meet him or anything icky like that.



Iris: Aren't you real friends with that Whittaker douche? Fake friends with Alvin is way less disgusting.



Iris: Oh god, really? Never mind, we don't want your endorsement.



Alvin: I HATE WORMS IN MY ORANGE JUICE



Alvin: And also myself



I hate you too.



Iris: You're a shoe-in for promotion, honey.
Alvin: More like a GUMSHOE-in! HAHAHAHAHA
Iris: ...
Alvin: Because I'm a secret ag-
Iris: OH I GOT IT



Iris: IT'S JUST THAT I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT TO DEAL WITH TODAY



I think we need a safety valve for that anger.



Iris: Which one are you? I can't tell from this far away.



Iris: Haha, yeah, hi! Whoever you are!



Iris: I'm gonna guess you're Erica.

Neither of them is named Erica.

Iris: It's a less offensive mistake that way!



Kelsey: BAM! Check out those wall tiles!
Nathaniel: SOOOOO CLASSY



Nathaniel: Oh god, my new pants! Good thing my mom's going to jail!



Nathaniel: 'cuz otherwise she'd kill me.



Brooke: Is this a crime? It looks like a crime...



Nathaniel: Wow, do you have your own field of gravity yet?!



Iris: I am going to belly-crush you.
Nathaniel: Whoa, dial back the violence a little!
Brooke: Ooh, I got that pun!



Iris: I don't know if you know this, but there's a thing hanging over your head.



Iris and Nathaniel: HAHAHAHAHA WE'RE NOT REAL



Nathaniel: You look like a hippie. Are you a hippie?



Nathaniel: 'cuz if I had my way all the hippies'd go in the oven.



Nathaniel: Then presto, alakaZAM! No more hippies!



Kelsey: If I laugh will you spare me.



Iris: END OF THE LINE, WOODY



Iris: 'cuz it's made of wood.



Iris: You're right, that does feel better.



Nathaniel: This is the lamest sorority I've ever seen.



Nathaniel: But I appreciate the uniforms.



Speaking of which.

Iris: YOU'RE a witch.



Iris: Holy shit! With the helmet on I can actually read this thing!



Iris: I can't wait to learn about bridge and the zodiac.



Alvin: I think that was Jacques Cousteau!



Alvin: Did you know that all this time I've been seeing France's most venerated explorer?!



Kelsey: You're an idiot, Alvin.



Kelsey: Even by little kid standards.



Come on, Stephen.

You're tanking the mood.



Iris: AAAAUGH MY OWN FACE!



Iris: AAAAUGH YOUR FACE!



Iris: Aaaaugh I'm over it.



How did that food make you THINNER.

Kelsey: Yeah, there' snow ay that makes any sense.



Alvin: SAD GHOST OUTTA MY HOUSE



Stephen: WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'TA GHOSTED ME THEN



Stephen: OOGABOOGA-
Alvin: GHOSTS AREN'T REAL



Kelsey: I believe in you, stupid dead guy.



Kelsey: What? You are stupid. You died stupid.



Kelsey: And I hate you.



Ghost burglar and me was like carrots and caricatures.



Kelsey: I'll make a deal with you - you can pull as many scares as you want, as long as you only scare Alvin.



Iris: Hey. That's my job.



Iris: THIS IS NOT MY JOB



Alvin: Ooh, throat singing! Can you teach me?



Ivy: I'm having a dream where you don't have lungs.



Congratulations, it's a what!



Irvin Woodrow: .oO(Countdown to therapy begins now.)



Oh, good. Another Alvin.

'cuz the world can definitely sustain another one of those.



Alvin: Mmm, biogenesis.



Alvin: Why your ovaries so sexay?



Iris: I need to keep this one away from him.

Yes, you do.



Iris: I'm so glad breastfeeding isn't a thing.



Stephen: I'D EVEN SETTLE FOR THAT



Alvin: Mind if I cruiseship your straits?



Iris: How can I refuse such a cleverly-conceived metaphor?



You might want to take care of the other thing he conceived first, though.



The eyes, they cannot unsee.



Alvin: Good news! The internet says he won't remember that.



Alvin: It also says he has to poop into a cloth bag for like a year. That can't be right.



Alvin: Also my computer is exploding.



Iris: Maybe the evil organization of evil evil, ENTROPY, is sabotaging your rig!
Alvin: ENTROPY isn't real, Iris.
Iris: HAHAHA OF COURSE NOT



Ivy: WOO! YEAH! WASTING MY CHILDHOOD!



Kelsey: Hi Daddy! Thanks for making us listen to you sexing! Again.



Ivy: Why aren't you dressed?
Kelsey: It's not like dressing would make me any less ugly.



Yeah, go away and don't come back until you're a real age.



Fabulous.



What the fuck are you doing.



Iris: Definitely not signalling my fellow ENTROPY agents.



Iris: Because ENTROPY isn't real.



Alvin: Exactly!



Iris: Nothing suspicious here!



You're fucked, kid.

Next time: some stupid kids finally grow up.

FINALLY.

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Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Jan. 2nd, 2017 04:06 am (UTC)
And 2 chapters before bed. Aww.

I love the thought balloon jokes, they never get old! (and if you re-use any, I don't even remember...)

I also didn't remember who was in the urn on top of the fridge. Hehe, such a lovely place to keep a dead person.

And I love evil Iris!
gruglysims
Jan. 3rd, 2017 05:40 am (UTC)
Lots of love, huh.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )