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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 219


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218.
Sharpesvale: 737.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.

More of this! Yaaaay.

I bet nobody's reading this. I blame me.




Calling these things "families" is starting to seem really cynical.



Abigail: So you're doing portraits of strong women, and you thought of me? Aww!
Stephen: Naked, though. Naked and strong. Especially naked.



Abigail: Baby steps.



Stephen: You're a model model, baby.
Abigail: And you're a sexy sexist, Steve.
Stephen: What's that over your head?



Abigail: Oh, right! FRIDAY's here.



FRIDAY: "Oh right! FRIDAY's here"?!
Abigail: If you'd just spin up your hard disk every once in a while I wouldn't forget!



FRIDAY: WHAT AM I DOING THIS SEEMS WRONG



Abigail: I hate this store, it has slappy robots in it.
Stephen: Yeah, and aren't you already, like, trapped in a foundation somewhere? Goodbye!



FRIDAY: Shit. I am trapped in a foundation somewhere. Goodbye.



Stephen: I need to use the facilities. Mind sticking around so I can have another go at you?
Abigail: That phrasing seems pregnant with meaning.
Stephen: Ew! No pregnancy please.



Abigail: You put your bathroom upstairs?
Stephen: Bathrooms? Where we're going yada yada yada.



Abigail: Oh, I see. Never mind.



Stephen: OH NO! I CAN'T SEE NAKED ABBY FROM THIS DIRECTION



Stephen: Now I'm gonna picture your awesome ass in that thing every time I use it.



Stephen: Hey, is that Battersea Power Station?



Stephen: So! While you're naked.
Abigail: Uh-huh.



Abigail: I must say I like you a lot more as someone else's husband.



Stephen: On a similar note, I'm fucking Stewart's fiancé.



Stephen: I'm pretty sure he's one of our kids.
Abigail: The one with the long hair or the one with the hat?
Stephen: The hat, I think? The hair one is dead, I think.



Abigail: No, it's the gay one who died.
Stephen: You just brought the gay one back.
Abigail: This is too confusing, let's hire a secretary.



Abigail: And we need to schedule a meeting.



Stephen: My evening's free.



Stephen: Mmm, squishy.



Abigail has no bad angles.



Stephen: She's really bendy, too!



Abigail: I like this store. ★+



Abigail: Present circumstances notwithstanding.



Abigail: I've wanted to do this for years. If only I had a brick.



Stephen: I deserve it!



There you go! A perfect come hither, thither, yonder and everywhere else pose.



Abigail: You know what this makes me thought balloon of?



Abigail: You do!



Instead of a billion sex pics, let's try doing a few good ones for a change.



Stephen: If they aren't all good I don't know what you're doing wrong.



Stephen: OH MY GOD IT'S FULL OF SEMEN



Stephen: Oh, very funny.
Abigail: Blackmail material!



Abigail: Say "squeeze"!



Abigail: I said say.



Abigail: It's times like these when I forget why we're not married anymore.
Stephen: The rest of the time?
Abigail: You say something, and I remember.



Stephen: Hey, you wanna go our separate ways and totally pretend this never happened?
Abigail: Totally!



Stephen: That bench didn't do my back any favours.



Jerome designed this building.

That's why there's nothing phallic about it.



Lance: Congresswoman Fox-Murphy, it's so good to finally meet you!
Wren: I always have time for the white middle-class male demographic!







Gee, how empowering.



Although yeah, a guy who takes the garbage out is definitely a keeper.



Margaret: Too bad his wife is a loser.
Ember: Why are you in our house again?



Margaret: 'cuz he needs a spare for the four out of five days when a redhead is too fucking annoying to put up with.



Stephen: But ohh, that fifth day...!



Stephen: Is there a term for discrimination based on hair colour?
Ember: Yes. "Accuracy."



Stephen: Right, so which of my women are you trying to infuriate with those?
Abigail: All of them?



Abigail: Especiallly this one.



It's nice that you can keep the magic going even when you're both inferior to the way you used to be.



Ember: What say we show him why he's wrong?



Stephen: That's usually pretty easy!



Ember: And so am I!



I stand corrected.



Oh no! Gypsy spies!

No-one suspects the people everyone suspects!



Ember: Ember Fox-Murphy, Attorney at Lawsome.



Stephen: I'm keeping you on indefinite retainer.



YAWN

Stephen: Nobody's making you stay.



Ember: Is that a hard penis in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?



Ember: Metaphors are for wusses.



Ember: So which of us looks better?
Stephen: You do.
Ember: Good.
Stephen: Which means I need to re-shoot her.



Ember: Hi, Anthony? I know this is short notice, but can you come make my husband jealous?



Stephen: It's not my fault Abigail's hotter than everyone.

You're right!

It's mine.



FRIDAY.

YOU ARE DEAD.

ACT LIKE IT.



FRIDAY: I've clearly gone to silicon heaven.



Margaret: Oh, hi. I ate everything in your fridge and passed out.



Stephen: Say "hi" to Stewart for me.



Ember: Off on another adventure in misogyny?
Stephen: Misogyny? Are you kidding? Progyny, if anything!



Stephen: Love me a good gyny.

Next time: yeah, there's still more of this.

It's a very important storyline.

Clearly.

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Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Jan. 2nd, 2017 07:55 pm (UTC)
Yay Friday must have cloned himself! 'Tis the only possible explanation!

How the heck did you ever find the Battersea Power Station as a reference? It's perfect!
lumy12
Jan. 6th, 2017 11:58 pm (UTC)
Ohhhhhhhhh not as random as I thought! Neato.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )