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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 227


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222, 223, 224, 225, 226.
Sharpesvale: 737.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.

Keepin' 'em comin'.

'postrophes.




Better not lose Cameron, or this'll be the Price-less Family!

HA HA HA HA

HA HA HA HA



Ricky: Can you feel it, Tracy? The world smiles when god laughs.
Tracy: That's dumb. You're dumb.



Ricky: Anyway, arrestin' time. Take notes.



Cameron: The fuck are you?!
Ricky: Note the distended belly. She's probably hopped up on steroids. Get the taser ready.



Cameron: I can't believe I have to say this, but Please Mister Policeman, don't kill my babies.



Cameron: 'cuz I'm PREGNANT. If you somehow still haven't GOTTEN that.



Cameron: Now you'd better have a good goddamn reason for barging into my anger hut uninvited.



Ricky: You're under arrest for high treason.
Cameron: ...see, now that is a good goddamn reason.



Tracy: Treason reason!
Ricky: Shut up Tracy.



Ricky: So yeah, the courthouse is all fitted out and the prison's on the way! Time for you deferred convicts to face the music.
Cameron: Can we at least pick the genre?



Cameron: 'cuz I'd choose horrorcore.



Ricky: Can you wait outside a bit, Tracy?
Tracy: I'm a highly-trained trainee, dammit! I won't be sidelined!
Ricky: Fine. Can you guard the door, Tracy?



Tracy: Maybe I can.



Ricky: Cool, now fuck off.



Ricky: And don't shoot anyone.
Tracy: Right, unless they're-
Ricky: JUST DON'T SHOOT ANYONE.



Ricky: She's excited because she got her first machinegun today.



How come you're not in custody?

Cameron: He said, and I quote, "You can stay here until that gross thing happens and there's babies. Then you gotta go."



Cameron: So, all sorts of shit to look forward to today.



Cameron: I'd better get some scrubbing done before a life sentence of dust settles in.



Cameron: GIVE ME A LIFT SO I CAN ELECTROCUTE MYSELF



Cameron: No, babies, no! You're sending your momma to jail!



Cameron: THEY DON'T SERVE SOY MILK IN JAIL



Cameron: I'M TOO YUPPY TO GO TO PRISON



Labour!

Cameron: IT'S LIKE A RACE BETWEEN ENDURANCE AND PATIENCE



Bree Price, daughter of William Sharpe and Cameron Price.

So, zombie traitor secret agent parentage.



Bree: .oO(Can I re-roll any of that?)



Cameron: I want you to know that mommy and daddy fucked each other very much the night you were conceived.



Jack: Oh shit, they found my secret hard drive.



Cameron: Outta my way, screw!



Jack: Hello nice guard. Don't shoot?



Tracy: You may enter.
Jack: You don't need to see my ID?
Tracy: You're on the list.
Jack: Wow, great. My name's on a list. A government list.
Tracy: Naw. It just says "Dude with bad poofy blonde hair." That could literally only be you.



Jack: I don't know how I feel about that.
Cameron: That's just what I was thinking! About these babies.

Emma Sharpe, for your information.



Cameron: Oh, good. She got some albino in there too. 'cuz she won't already be subjected to ridicule.



Cameron: Congrats kid! Your daddy's a politician and your mommy's a supervillain.



Bree: .oO(I still think we deserve at least one do-over.)



Oh, it's got a leg coming out of its shoulder. Kill it.



Jack: Hey, babies! Great.
Cameron: Glad you like them, daddy.



Damn kids and their texting.

Tracy: I'm calling Ricky back to arrest her.

Somehow worse! Well done.



Jack: Wait. You want me to raise somebody else's kids?
Cameron: They don't need too much raising. Only to about chest-level.



Tracy: "Give her a few moments"? God, what kind of sap are you?



Tracy: At least pretend it's because you're scared of her.



Tracy: I WILL SHOOT YOU
Caryl: No thanks!



Cameron: BROKE M'ARM
Jack: Cool.



Jack: ABILITY SHAMING



Tracy: What's the password?
Jack: There isn't one
Tracy: CLEVER



Jack: Three people I passed on my way here say you threatened to shoot them.
Tracy: Shit, only three? I guess some of them were walking the other way.



Jack: They're stuck, shut up.



Ricky: Alright Mrs. Price-Murphy...
Cameron: Just Price, thanks.
Ricky: Blah blah blah what?



Ricky: Is this man going to take care of your children?
Cameron: I'm wondering that too!



Ricky: So here's the procedure. I'll take you to my car, and we'll head on down to the station and check you into your cell.
Cameron: No naked walk of shame?
Ricky: Not unless you're in a giving mood, no.



Cameron: So when is my trial?
Ricky: Oh, definitely some time within the next several years.



Ricky: Such language.



Ricky: Alright, war criminal coming through! Nobody come check that out! 'cuz it's not at all cool.



That's it, bear your separation with stoic bravery.

Cameron: We just realized we have no chemistry, actually.



Cameron: Welp. Off to my cell.
Jack: It's not like this place was much better.



Ricky: I'm sure that was very comforting for her to hear.
Jack: It was a fair observation.



Ricky: Okay, YOU. You take good care of those kids or I WILL GET YOU.



Jack: That would be NICE because NOBODY GETS ME



Jack: Neither of us came off very well there.
Ricky: Pretend it didn't happen?
Jack: Oh yeah.



Weldon Mace: Is this a party? Am I invited?



Jack: Normally when you date a chick with kids YOU STILL GET THE CHICK



Jack: Nice shitter though.



You should see the other ones.



Jack: I don't wanna.



Jack: Pretty sure this is illegal.



Emily: This place needs more boring.



Wow, Emily being that close did this.



Emily: My name is Emily. My boring cuts through drywall.



Jack: Oh baby, I'd bore you!



Emily: You already have.



Jack: Hey, want some babies?



Jack: Not even all-you-can-eat?



Jack: I guess not eating babies is attractive.



Jack: Okay, let me try this again. Can I interest you in dinner? I have some pickle pancakes in the fridge.



Jack: What? She was PREGNANT, okay?



Jack: You aren't worth this much effort. Get out.



Emily: Imagine if he'd found out I was gonna charge him.



I have nothing to say about beefcake shots.



Jack: I didn't think I was beefcake material.

Beefcake sounds like a disgusting substance, so.



Jack: Is selling babies really such a bad thing?

Yes?

Jack: Okay but is it REALLY



Bree: .oO(AT LEAST SELL ONE OF US



Jack: Send me a useless old woman.



Jack: Man, calling the retirement home was a GREAT idea.



Jack: Oh yeah, I have a job.

Heck of a thing to forget.

Jack: You don't know the half of it.



Jack: I should help her across the road, but I'm in an evil mood today. Work does that to me.



Brenda: Thanks, whoever you are! Where am I?



Brenda: Who am I?



Thank god for muscle memory.



-sigh-

Next time: even less important characters.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT

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Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Apr. 2nd, 2017 01:46 pm (UTC)
Priceless! AHAHAHAHAHAHA you kill me!

That "wee leg" coming out of the shoulder... creepy as fuck O.o Awesome shot!

SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME

Poor Jack, he doesn't get the perks of dating a MILF.

Nice beefcake shot! If only his hair didn't look so tightly-gelled. If only the locks were loose and carefree like Lucas's...

Jeez I'm such a slacker I'm over a month behind now?? I will catch up one day!
gruglysims
Jul. 18th, 2017 08:30 am (UTC)
I kill lots of people. Virtual people. Mostly.

As usual that awesome shot was entirely accidental. These days I frame my shots more diligently than David fucking Lynch.

UGH LUCAS WHY DID I MAKE YOU
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )