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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 233


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222, 223, 224, 225, 226, 227, 228, 229, 230, 231, 232.
Sharpesvale: 737.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.

Blah blah blah let's get moving!




And let's do it right this time.



Oh, fuck! Haha. Cameron was supposed to go to jail too!

Cameron: Yeah I was real worried you'd forget.



Morning again, ladies.

Brooke: Again?

Right, right. Only the time traveller perceives the time travel.



Nerissa: Why don't you just cheat and skip this story?

OCD.

Nerissa: ...oh.



Ricky: If you're referring to her, you must mean Obviously Cute Dame!
Chelsea: I don't want your compliments if that's the best you can do.



YMCA!



Brooke: I like this YMCA!



Brooke: ...do I have to shoot her now?
Brooke: RUN BROOKE I'M YOUR OLDER SELF

There's too many Brookes in this neighbourhood.

I should have called it Storybrooke.



Emmy: This hotel is pretty great.



Annie: Isn't the governor a hottie?
Aurora: I prefer Darryl and Rick.



Rosemarie: ...
Penny: I'M ALLOWED TO BE OUT OF UNIFORM WHEN I'M PREGNANT



Nerissa: Take them in for processing, officer Jailowitz.
Ricky: That's Jalowitz.
Nerissa: Well that's stupid.



Brooke: Get moving! I don't want you starting any international incidents on the way to the desk, I know what you fuckers are like.



Nawwaf: I am not cleaning that up.



Brooke: ...you don't mind if I handle the registration, do you?



Chelsea: Where's your sense of adventure?!



Nerissa: I will end you.
Chelsea: Lady, don't even get me started.



Rosemarie: Ooh sick burn!
Cameron: I DON'T SPEAK MILLENNIAL.



Tish: Did you see? We're getting new tenants!
Annie: You mean the prisoners?
Tish: What kind of attitude is that? I wouldn't have joined this public housing project if I knew my coworkers were gonna be so cynical.



Chelsea: Can we hurry this along? I can't wait to sample your gruel.



Haha.

Ricky: What?

Ricky Janitorwitz.

Ricky: #%@#$%^#$^



Cameron: If anybody tries to touch you, remind them of your rights! With violence.
Rosemarie: I want the cell across from yours. To watch.



Brooke: Okay Ms. Price, could you please explain to me the nature of your offense?
Chelsea: I'm offended by that ponytail. Thank you for asking.



Chelsea: Oh, you mean... haha, right! You want to know about that dude I shot. With a machinegun.



Chelsea: DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA! Haha.




Chelsea: I thought he was a cow zombie, but he wasn't a zombie or a cow.



Chelsea: Talk about failing a spot check.



Brooke: It could have happened to anybody stupid.



Ricky: If you'll follow me to your cell, we'll get you settled in. Your hardened criminal nickname will be "THE BUTCHER."



Nerissa: I thought we decided not to do the nickname thing.
Ricky: I wouldn't even have come in to work today if that was the case.



Ricky: Anyway I bet you're wondering why I picked "THE BUTCHER."
Chelsea: 'cuz I shot a cow.
Ricky: No, because you shot FUCK



Ricky: THERE'LL BE NO PRIME CUTS WHERE YOU'RE GOING, THE BUTCHER!
Chelsea: Which is... right here?
Ricky: Yeah, I should have said that part outside.



Chelsea: Do you even get wifi in here?



Cameron: Something on your mind, chief?
Nerissa: JUSTICE
Cameron: Neat.



Chelsea: Where's the bidet?



Rosemarie: You go on ahead. I want to see how you try to justify your shit.



Brooke: The nature of your offense?
Cameron: I'm offended that I have to call it that.



Cameron: I mean Jesus CHRIST guys, history won't be kind to people like you who try to stymie intellectual freedom.



Cameron: I invited zombies into my dorm and they ate everybody.



Cameron: But, like, I learned some very interesting things from it!



Cameron: Like, for example, most Sims have very limited immune resistance to death.



Cameron: And think of all the medical advances that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't caused half the county to die!



Cameron: You should be building me a statue.



Ricky: If you're done with Her Majesty I'll take her to her bedquarters.



Ricky: Listen, don't try to escape. That carries the death penalty.
Cameron: What am I accused of?
Ricky: High treason.
Cameron: What's the penalty for high treason?
Ricky: The death OH HO HO I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE



Nerissa: GREAT WORK EVERYBODY



Nerissa: This is not a hotel.
Brooke: Then why are you dressed like a hooker?



Nerissa: For REASONS OF MY OWN.



Rosemarie: I don't know if I want to tell my story, it won't look as good in black and white as theirs did.



Brooke: If you don't tell me what you did I'll make up something embarrassing.



Rosemarie: Somebody ran under my car.



Rosemarie: That's how I choose to remember it, anyway.



Rosemarie: Oh shit, I forgot it was two people.



Rosemarie: I'm so screwed.



Emmy: Pleased to meet you!
Nerissa: Nope!



Nerissa: Now I'll get you a bag. You're taking that with you.



Rosemarie: WHAT HAPPENED IN HERE



Emmy: I EAT HEALTHY



Thinking about what YOU did, huh?

Vicki: Since it's apparently SimNational Regret Day, yeah.



Vicki: It's easy to know where to start, but it's hard to know where to finish.



Chelsea: Like I'm the only person who murdered someone at university.



I can think of one right off the bat!



Yeah, she did have nice tits, didn't she?

I'm not looking up a link for you.



I don't even know what you're doing.



At least somebody's got the right idea.

Chelsea: Actually I could really go for a hamburger right now.



Nawwaf: Stop exercising, dammit, you're making me feel guilty and COPS CAN'T BE GUILTY



Ally: I dedicate this workout to Nawwaf!



Chelsea: Black Angus beef this ain't.



Vicki: Hey, at least it's fast and convenient! Leaves us lots of time to do all the NOTHING we have to do in here!



Nerissa: Alright, shift change! Go home! Put your dick back in your pants!
Nawwaf: We'll call that tonight's goal!



Nawwaf: Hey baby! If I told you my dick was out, would you let me put it in you?



Hey, hold up. Do you remember that Rosemarie ran over two people?

Stewart: People? Well. I don't really think townies count.
Emmy: Hey, thanks.



Stewart: HEY COP LADY! Why does this feel so familiar. HEY COPY LADY HEY



Stewart: There should be a megaphone out here or something.

Or maybe a pneumatic tube!



Nerissa: I know just where to put it!



Annie: I have a weird and funny question. Haha!
Aurora: Okay...
Annie: Did you... do we... did they make you take any TESTS? To become a cop? It's just that I heard... I mean...
Aurora: ...of course I took tests. There was a whole curriculum.
Annie: Right! Right.
Aurora: ...which of course YOU took, right?
Annie: Oh just so absolutely definitely! Yes! Just... making sure you did. Haha.



IS THAT YOUR HOTTIE SIGNAL



Stewart: I AM PREPARED TO PURCHASE ROSEMARIE'S FREEDOM



Nerissa: HAHAHA ARE YOU PROPOSITIONING ME SIR
Stewart: What? Ew! No, of course not!



Nerissa: WELL YOU SHOULD BE



Nerissa: I'm cold, Mr. Murphy. COMFORT ME.



Stewart: Yeah, I was kinda hoping to just retrieve my existing fucked-up friend.



Stewart: And anyway don't you have a husband?
Nerissa: Like THAT means anything.



Nerissa: I think he bought a fake ring anyway.



Nerissa: Of course if he catches us you'll have to defeat him in single combat!
Stewart: With the chief of police! Awesome.



Nerissa: I'M A CHIEF OF POLICE TOO DAMMIT

SCLURCH



Nerissa: Fucked you up, asshole!





"Portraits in Defecation" series, items 1-2.



Vicki: Before you ask, NO.



Rosemarie: ...Stewart? You out here somewhere?



Stewart: Please save me from the bad lady.



Rosemarie: Mmm... Stewart...
Stewart: Mmm... Rosemarie...
Rosemarie: I killed two people, not one.
Stewart: The other one was a foreigner, that's basically a freebie.



Nerissa: 'night Nick. Don't eat anybody outside the building.



Stewart: WALK FASTER WALK FASTER



Ricky: Explain to me why the manslaughterer gets to go home early and WE'RE stuck in JAIL.
Annie: Well, we do get paid for thi-
Ricky: EXACTLY NO REASON



Vicki: I could be mistaken, 'cuz I missed the whole "apocalypse" thing, but... is that man out there a ZOMBIE?

Can you think of a better night watchman?



Ricky: Better get the Tish stretcher, Annie.



So you're the night chief, huh.

Nicholas: For some reason folks aren't comfortable hanging around me in the daytime.



Sure is dead around here at night.



Nicholas: Don't be racist.



Had that tucked under your brassiere, did you?



You would be SUPER hot if you weren't half Barbie Doll.

Chelsea: Don't be racist.



So you still sleep in your superhero costume, do you?

Cameron: If it's comfortable at crush depth, it's comfortable enough for bed.



So hey, how's it feel to have two of your kids in jail?

Ember: Hey, how's it feel to be overweight and tired?

I'm used to it, honestly.



She's dreaming about Chapter Eight.



And now she's dreaming about Chapter 370!

...what?

You haven't read that one yet?



Tish: Oh, tish.



Tish: It's night shift already, boss? Wow! Got anything to eat around here?
Nicholas: You know it.



Tish: You're smiling but I don't feel comforted.



Tish: You like my vest, is that it? Yeah, it's pretty cool huh.



Tish: This is less cool.



Tish: I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS IS AGAINST REGULATIONS



Tish: Or that you haven't got a hope in fuck of ganking a SWAT officer.



BONK

Nick: OWWWW MY BRAAIIIIIIINNNNSSSSS



Tish: Let me help you with that.



Tish: Looks like I wasn't late to the zombie-killing party after all!
Nick: IF THIS IS A PARTY YOU WEREN'T INVITED



Nick: OW INVISIBLE BULLETS



Nick: I AM INVISIBLY WOUNDED!



Nick: Time... to invisibly... die.



Uh-oh, look who thinks he's getting artsy again...



Tish: I am going to write a scathing Google review of this place.



Jeez. There's some shit you just can't come back from.



OR CAN YOU.

Next time: THE LAST TIME.

Lord I hope so.

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Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Apr. 7th, 2017 03:23 am (UTC)
Ahaha the game hates your jail, wtf. It's such a cool lot, where does the hate come from? Lucky for zombiecop though.

The black & white memories are lovely. I am disturbed that some of those chapters lack comments from me. That is against my programming! You must have deleted my comments. Yes, that's the only explanation. I didn't get behind in 2010, that didn't start until 2012 iirc! Sheesh. I kinda want to reread the whole thing... I could have a dedicated tab, it wouldn't be so hard... it would just take forever? But then at least I could comment on them ALLLLLLLL.
gruglysims
Jul. 18th, 2017 08:23 am (UTC)
You think reading them takes forever? Try fixing them after changing image hosts! Thankfully I had some very capable help.
lumy12
Jul. 20th, 2017 03:09 pm (UTC)
Because of photobucket being evil overlords now? Oh God I can't imagine having to fix all that shit.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )