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Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



It's time to retire that massive-ass link list.

I'm surprised LiveJournal hasn't choked on it.

Anyway, the hub post will have all the links from this point onward.




Lookin' sharp alright.



Jane: Do exactly what we say.
Theresa: Or we kill you.
Jane: Again.
Theresa: Don't think we won't.



Anthony: Pucks for breakfast! Who wants one?



Theresa: William?



Theresa: Ahem. Sorry. WILLIAM!



William: They're calling your name, kid!



William: Unfortunately it's my name too. Don't get stepped on!

You picked a great spot, Will.



'sup D?

Daisy: Don't talk to me.



Theresa: Looks like the conquering hero is taking a snooze.



Theresa: Oh! There you are.
William: If you came into my house unannounced, I hope you came for sex.



Theresa: I announced myself! I yelled out your name!
William: And you're sure we're not talking about sex?



Theresa: Do you ever quit, dude?
William: You don't quit on sex, Theresa. Sex quits on you, and you gotta get as much in as you can before that happens.



William: My schedule's open right now, FYI.



William: Alright, whatever. Let 'em in.



Sullivan: What is that stench?
Brandi: My rotting vagina.
Sullivan: I love it.



William: I've got the other one in there. Try not to let her out, okay? I can't stand apocalypses before breakfast.



Anthony: Who wants salmon?
Brandi: William eats salmon for breakfast?
Sullivan: Pretty sure William eats pussy for every meal.



William: Lookin' good for a dead chick, Bran!
Melanie: You realize I'm not a zombie, right?



Sullivan: I've been doing some research, and I think after wrongfully accusing me of a crime I'm legally entitled to make you eat out my asshole.



William: It's good to see you too, Sullivan.
Sullivan: Clitsucker.



Anthony: What happened to him? Was it butlering?
William: I'm pretty sure it wasn't butlering. I'm pretty sure he's always been like that. I'm pretty sure, in fact, that it's Sullivan that happens to things that aren't Sullivan.



Melanie: I don't suppose you'd accept some lovely salmon in lieu of brains...



Brandi: I don't suppose.



Jane: Well look. If it isn't the princess of the silver screen.
Daisy: Most people would have gone for queen. You know, 'cuz it rhymes.
Jane: Exactly! That's how you know mine was an insult.



William: Who put the rats in with the mice?



Daisy: So, are they staying the night or what?
Jane: Nobody tells me anything.
Daisy: It's your stupid face, right? That'd do it for me.



Daisy: 'kay thanks bye.



Sullivan: Breakfast and a show!



Daisy: I just go like this and ZOOOOOM my arm goes weird.



Daisy: Isn't that awesome?
Theresa: Did you know, my contract specifically indicates that I need to tolerate everything you say and do? Specifically?!



Daisy: Yikes. Maybe oil that dust cloud down a little?



Theresa: Go grab that baby and do mommy things with it, will you?!



Daisy: I don't think I will, actually.



Daisy: I'm surprised that someone with such a stupid haircut could be such a bore.



Theresa: Yeah, fuck you too.



Melanie: GREAT AWESOME THANKS



Why is everybody playing cops and robbers? The thing at the courthouse was swords and bombs.



Uma: Man! Have you looked at me?!

Yeah?

Uma: WOW, am I right?!



Brandi: You've got a little something on your everything.



Jane: I sink the white one first, right?



Daisy: Get out of my house.



Uma: Uh-oh, it's Attack of the Hair Gel!



Melanie: I gave life to two actual Sims! I taught a child to speak! I was a person!
Brandi: Eat your salmon before the flies do, Pinocchio.



William: You're not looking up a replacement for me, are you?
Uma: What? God no.



Uma: A supplement, yes.



Theresa: Dammit.



Nathaniel: Hi, you've reached Nathaniel Price-Murphy. I don't answer my phone anymore because nobody ever calls it on purpose. Please leave a message if you're the first person to ever actually want to talk to me.



Uma: Wow, depressing much? You sound like such a nerd.



Uma: Pick up the phone if you want to go downtown and get laid.



Nathaniel: I'M HERE
Uma: I thought you might be.



Sullivan: Did you meet Agatha Grimm yet? She and I go way back. Way, way back! Bareback.



Melanie: Yeah, I'm with the butler on this one. Can you go back to whatever planet you came from?



Sullivan: Sure thing baby! Got me a rocketship right here. Wanna lift?



Melanie: You're too gross to be a zombie.



I hope the Repo Man takes Sullivan.



Nathaniel: Touch your nose and say "Magic Lamp."



Isn't anybody gonna take WEDNESDAY inside?

Daisy: Why? Will that speed up her decomposition somehow?



Uma: Listen kid. You're eighteen. How horny are you? I'm almost five times that old.



Neila: I'm in this update!



Victor Me too!
Andrea: Me three, but just barely!



WHAT.

Uma: What?



Hold your jaw shut, kid.



Nathaniel: Oh! Okay. I'm hallucinating.



Uma: Good start.



Nathaniel: You look... wow.
Uma: Good enough to defeat grammar, huh? That's pretty damn good.



Nathaniel: So... you... are going on a date... with me?!
Uma: Um, what? And skip the auditioning process? Don't be absurd.



Uma: PUT THAT PAPER BACK
Nathaniel: BAD POLICE CHIEF



Nathaniel: Where did you get that dress? Did you knock over the Academy Awards?!



Uma: Kid, I had this dress back when the Oscars were legally required to be all-white.



Nathaniel: Hahaha the Oscars are racist.

The best thing about that joke is it will probably always be timely.

This is also the worst thing about that joke.



Uma: Alright pal. Are you ready for the time of your life?
Nathaniel: Maybe!
Uma: Maybe?
Nathaniel: If it's the time of my life, what do I have to compare it to?



Uma: Just shut up and come with me.



Uma: Come with me. You got that? Not after me, and certainly not before me.



Nathaniel: I don't get it.

Next time: he gets it.

He gets something, anyway.

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Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Jul. 8th, 2017 02:05 am (UTC)
Awww it's the end of an era... no more links list... but I imagine it was becoming a little unwieldy, yes.

LOL rotting vagina. Yum.

Oh Melanie, I still love you, but those teeth are a little scary O.o

Uma's cute, I trust you have plans for her that don't involve dying now? Er... that's never a safe bet with you, huh.

Coming WITH is pretty difficult, though!
gruglysims
Jul. 18th, 2017 08:01 am (UTC)
It's more that the damn thing was starting to take up half the character limit of LiveJournal!

I didn't have plans for Uma, but she fit into plans eventually anyway. Whether or not they involve dying, I'll let you find out in due time.

It's worth it.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )