?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Yada yada yada.

Yada!




In which the youngest person is around seventy.



Stephen: Sleek moves for an old lady!
Abigail: My suit has an onboard dance enhancer.



Stephen: Really?
Abigail: No! Stupid.



What's that?

Brooke: Anti-jealousy potion.

Whaaat.

I hope you brought enough for the entire neighbourhood.



Having fun touching your imaginary dance partners?



Having shared a house before, I can tell you it was nothing like this.



Brooke: You have a penis!
Kyle: Hahaha I do.



Sunny: I've seen it.



Stephen: I'm glad we can still be friends with benefits.



Friends with drawbacks too, though.



Sunny: Wanna have sex?
Kyle: In that direction?
Sunny: There's only one Ask On Date animation, so sue me.



Clay: Man, is my armpit belching or is Brooke Cormier around?



Brooke: I'm trying to combine the words "trash" or "garbage" with the words "apocalypse" or "armageddon" but nothing quite evokes this smell.



Sunny: Wow you're short.
Kyle: Not at all sensitive about it either.



Stephen: Look! My head is almost blocking the phone, but not quite!

I am really getting sick of myself and my stupid fucking pictures.



Like, did this moment of hoverhands need to be preserved for posterity?



Hey, this fake kiss almost looks real!

I take back one percent of the bad things I've recently said about myself.



Kyle: HEE HAW! HEE HAW!
Sunny: That does sound like a donkey!



Abigail: I'm still trying to figure out what this thing has to do with science.



What's the occasion?

Sunny: We're going out to dinner!

In fifty pics or less, I hope. I've got chapters to go, chapters to see.



Good for you guys.



Kyle: When you live with my family you learn to only look straight ahead.



Are you not going to walk with him?

Sunny: I'm moving when the damn prompt comes, and not a moment sooner.



Wow, it's almost like Brooke's a character now.

I never would have called that.



Stephen: Is there a port on this suit?



Abigail: Wouldn't you be worried about it suddenly closing, though?

It would give a whole new meaning to safely removing hardware.

Ba-dum-pssh.



Yeah, making out and blowing bubbles all the time must suck.



FRIDAY: A most salubrious scene! But wait! What does it lack?!



FRIDAY: Ahh, perfection.

Aren't you under a foundation somewhere?

FRIDAY: Then who kicked this can?

Yeah, I can only think of about twenty people.



Abigail: Sometimes I miss you.
Stephen: Yeah?
Abigail: Yeah, when you're in your car. I throw rocks, and sometimes I miss.
Stephen: So that's where those dents keep coming from!



The bland restaurant!

I save it for my blander clientele.



Man! If Sullivan wasn't here this place would be a prime target for a little spring cleaning.

By which I mean a terrorist attack with no survivors.



Sunny: I think we just received a death threat.
Kyle: We've been dead before. It's no biggie.



More than two hundred and fifty chapters in, I've finally run out of things to say about kissing.



Sunny: I WANT FIVE HUNDRED TARTLETTES
Kyle: I WANT PORK ON YOUR FACE



Kyle: Shit! Fuck! Eye contact.



Kyle: And now my menu is dissolving.



Kyle: Okay, well, just feed us whatever looks logical.
Esther: So, dog food?



Chelsea: I keep imagining Melanie is walking around.
Melanie: That's impossible.



Sunny: This isn't what I wanted.

Don't worry, that's not what Kyle wanted either.



Passive aggressing much?

Sunny: You own the Prima guides. You can damn well look up my meal.



Asia: Kyle! What a surprise seeing you here!
Kyle: Who are you?
Asia: Your brother's girlfriend!
Kyle: That only narrows it down to like three hundred people. Which brother?
Asia: Stewart!
Kyle: Okay, so one hundred...



Asia: Well anyway I'm taking this.



Sunny: Is that cat grass?



Sunny: Meet me in the parking lot.
Kyle: We didn't bring a car.
Sunny: Exactly!



Kyle: Ohhhhh.



Kyle: The concrete fuck pad!
Sunny: Inexplicable but cheap!



Yeah, you really are.



Of course, she's actually sucking the snot out of his nose.



Kyle: Man! Dresses are so convenient!



Kyle: And this concrete is softer than I thought it would be.
Sunny: I think it's new. I think it's wet.



Kyle: WELL I GUESS WE'RE DOING THIS FOREVER THEN



Andrew: Wow! What the hell are you.



Andrew: Are you casting a spell on me? Are you a witch?



Andrew: Are you perhaps mistaking me for someone who would have anything to do with you?



Andrew: I'M SAD THAT I'M CRYING



Andrew: I hate fat people!



Renée: Now feel how good a compliment feels!



Andrew: You're a genius.



Great job.



Asia: Us nobodies gots to sticks togethers.



Asia: Geez, you two. Get some raised walls!



Andrew: Suck it.



Round One, FIGHT!



Kyle: I have something to show you!
Sunny: Is it your penis?
Kyle: My penis and I have something to show you!



Kyle: Tada!
Sunny: Oh my gosh! How did you know, Kyle's penis?!



Sunny: Which one of you am I marrying?
Kyle: We're a package dear.

Ba-dum-pssh.




Um, dude.

Kyle: Yeah, I know. See if anyone notices.



Kyle: Oh, so NOW people see me!



Sunny: Is that your new style?
Kyle: Don't underestimate the allure of wind on your genitals.



Abigail: I CAN'T ESCAPE HIM



Kyle: I see Clay's alive again.



Kyle: I smelled it first.



Abigail: And the bus didn't even fit!



Stephen and Abigail: HAHAHAHAHA



Aw, are we ashamed to be disgusting perverts with another pervert nearby?



Oliver: There's nothing disgusting about it! We're not related.

No, but you should be.

Oliver: So? Kristen Stewart and Martha Stewart aren't related, but they totally should be! If only because nobody wants to see them make out with each other.



Angelica: So hey, do you drive your boyfriend to little league practice and help him with his spelling homework?
Sunny: Hey, fuck you too.



Oliver: We shouldn't fight! We're all part of the same family!
Angelica: Except we're not!
Oliver: Right, right! Except we're not.



Angelica: You know, even if our family ties are corrupted, we still have similar genetics.
Oliver: But as luck would have it, flipper babies aren't a thing in our universe.



Oliver: Since we're unrelated, we can date! Right?
Angelica: I'm sorry, I'm a bit distracted by the sight of my grandfather outside in his underwear.



Angelica: But yeah, we're totally boning.



Care to explain?

Stephen: Nope!



Abigail: Is Stephen outside?
Kyle: He can't be, I just saw him in his underwear.



Angelica: Our matching private school outfits appeal to my middle-class notions of societal superiority!



Brooke: Hi Angelica! Chatting up your uncle?
Angelica: This is going to be a tough sell.



Angelica: Maybe we should wait until after that whole "arresting people and trying them" thing blows over.



Kyle: Dad!
Stephen: Am I? Abby?



Stephen: Oh right! Kyle! I keep forgetting you're alive again.



Abigail: We only had eight children.

But in Stephen's defense, they're all pretty dull.



Wait. These are your parents. Why are you disapproving?

Kyle: Because it's gross.



Stephen: So this is your underwear configuration?
Abigail: I can even change the translucency, but there's kids around.



Stephen: Beat it, kid. So I can beat it.



Oliver: Hi, is this the gypsy matchmaker? Hi! Why do you have a land line.



Kyle: I liked you guys better when I was dead.



Now THAT is what family kisses really look like.

Abigail and Kyle: This is weird and I do not enjoy it.



Oliver: Get a room, you two!

DO NOT get a room, you two.

Next time: teens and shit.

Yo.

Recent Posts from This Journal

  • The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 284

    Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2! Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence,…

  • The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 283

    Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2! Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence,…

  • Girl Power

    Random post! I've been making superheroes for my Sims game as part of a Generation 3 storyline. I wanted to share one of them because... I wanted…

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Jul. 8th, 2017 03:19 am (UTC)
Kyle is such a nerd. I think I used to find him adorkable but now he's kinda... annoying? Sunny's way out of his league. But she accepted his proposal, wtf!

And you can't nuke a place when Chelsea's there. Unless Stewart is also there. Collateral damage.
gruglysims
Jul. 18th, 2017 07:52 am (UTC)
Kyle is what happens when you resurrect a Sim without a clear idea of what to do with him.

Stewart is what happens when your standards are low.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )