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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 271


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the Sims...




wit babbies



Margaret: Please don't be a weirdo.



Margaret: CHEERLEADERS ARE WEIRDOS



Chelsea: I think you have that backwards?



Is that...?

Chelsea: A picture of me on this couch I'm about to sit on?

Weirdos EVERYWHERE



Margaret: And some of them shit themselves.



Stephen: There's a fine line between artists and babies.



Chelsea: Why is this day going so fast?
Stephen: Because I was at work!

Because I'm cutting half the pics!



Stephen: I'd let her cut my pics!



Chelsea: Try it and I cut her.



Margaret: I thought I saw you kissing Chelsea outside.
Stephen: I like a girl with imagination.



Accordingly, I left the sex scene up to your imagination.



I left the sleep scene in unaltered.



Hahaha, sleep? What is that even?!



Stephen: Man, kids start being a real drag after your dozenth.



Stephen: But they're so fun to make!



Margaret: This barely-playable paid me to bubble advertise her.
Stephen: I love the information economy!







Stephen: We're pretty awesome.



I just thought this was a pretty pic.

Of a man cleaning a toilet.

IT'S POSSIBLE



witout babbies

so far



Yay! Now with 50% more not-Stewart!



Asia: I didn't order a party stripper!



Rosemarie: Then who's that.



Stewart: Hey Len, get me some water?
Leonard: NOPE NOT ACKNOWLEDGING YOU



Leonard: OH GOD I saw him for a second.



Stewart: Come on bro, you know you love me.
Leonard: OH GOD I ALMOST PERSPECTIVE-TOUCHED IT



Asia: OH NO YOU'RE SEXY
Stewart: Sexay!



Asia: Makeouts!
Stewart: Good point, well made.



I know, I know. This is... this is just that era of the story, okay?

At least it backs on nicely to the "everyone dies" era.

Coming soon!

Ish.



Ah, the Anti-Jealousy Potion. The only way more than two people can congregate safely in Sharpesvale.



And sometimes not even.



Leonard: Gonna marry that pavement.



Aww, that's a cute outfit!

Sleaze it up a little.



...pregnancy bump?

Rosemarie: Soda burp.



Oh! You got fat.

Stop exercising, I like it.



See? Way less interesting.

Rosemarie: Stop reverse-body shaming.



Clearly glad to be alive again, Asia allows her standards to drop.



Rosemarie: HA HA HA YOU, HOT?!?!
Leonard: Lovin' the support, hon.



Leonard: We should do something nice for Stewart and Asia so they don't come to their senses and kick us out.



Rosemarie: Let's try loud screaming sex.



Leonard: Makes sense to my lizard brain!



Leonard: Lizard brain makes the best decisions.



Cool.



Work, sex. Work, sex. What a stagnant cycle.

Stewart: I'd be willing to skip the work, if that would help...



Stewart: We should do something to make slutty and doofus feel welcome.



Asia: Loud sex?
Stewart: In cold blood!



We're certain you're not related, right?



One of these things is not like the others!

Rosemarie: Appreciate it!



Stewart: Doesn't Asia look pretty?
Rosemarie: Asia is frigid and rocky.
Stewart: Shit, have you slept with her?!



Tylopoda: DO THE REFRIGERATOR PRANK



Asia: What's the point of eating if I'm gonna barf it back up?



Cory: Or is it Corey?

Not looking it up.



Abigail: Well! If it isn't my favourite neighbour! Which is ISN'T.



Yes, the first thing a broke multi-mom needs to consider is adopting more babies.

Margaret: I'm not considering THAT side of adoption.

Ohhhh...

Please go for it.



Leonard: Check it out, I make this chick's heart go a-twitter!
Rosemarie: Sorry, no. Lots of soda lately.



I thought we cleared this shit up in, like... Chapter Three.



Abigail: ANNIVERSARY SURPRISE



Stephen: I didn't know my cheeks had muscle memory!



Margaret: I did not call you a ho! I just said that was a ho dress.



The traditional dipshit wedding huddle.



Asia: So you're a secret agent! That's fascinating.
Corey: ARE YOU A SECRET AGENT TOO



Margaret: BABIES!

BABIES!

BABIES BABIES BABIES!

Are boring.



Right?



Stewart: I always wear glasses since I walked into that Theresa chick and spiked both my eyeballs.



Margaret: Banana peel?



Andrew: Invisible newspaper?
Ember: So I can spot interlopers.



Stephen: Fun fact: I am cheating on half the neighbourhood right now.



I like that "hands in pockets" look, Asia. Very formal.



Margaret: THIS IS SO ROMANTIC!
Elle: And LUCRATIVE! I'm still on the clock.



Stewart: Banalities!
Asia: Appreciation!



Rosemarie: Exaggerations!
Leonard: Hook, line and sinker!



I know pronounce you man and wife and man and wife.



Andrzej: In old country new wives must fellate entire wedding party!



Ring ring ring ring



RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING



Banana phone?



Corey: I like it when the narrator gives up.



Stewart: Where's your Aspiration Points?
Asia: I'm an introvert.



Andrew: OKAY WE'RE DONE HERE
Ember: I KNOW RIGHT



Hey, you said you were still on the clock.



Rosemarie: Wow, you're hot! I'd give you one-and-a-half husbands.



And now for the ceremonial Breaking of the Glasses.



Andrzej: In old country...
Ember: YOUR ENTIRE COUNTRY IS ONE GIANT ARGUMENT FOR FEMINISM.

Most countries are.

Next time: kids become characters.

It had to happen eventually.

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Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Aug. 4th, 2017 02:48 am (UTC)
A double wedding! I've never even thought of doing that. How fun. And the guests can make wagers on whose marriage will last longer!

Still can't believe Leonard got Rosemarie. He's too... TEEN-y for her!

I like the babbies tho, bring 'em on...
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )