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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 272


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Two in a row! Go for one more?

Wait, that's not right.

...Connect Four!




Deborah: I've decided that everything ever is Carolina's fault.

North or South?



Rebecca: We are not having a "girls moment," mom.



Carolina: ...and then he accidentally left the Photoshop sharpen filter on, and now LOOK at me! JPEG artifacts up the WAZOO!



Kyle: Eugh. Smells like Private School.



Kyle: DING DONG



Carolina: That's cheating.



Carolina: ...oh. Hi.
Kyle: Hi Mrs. Newcastle!
Carolina: Got... your homework done yet?
Kyle: Yep, this is pretty awkward.



Carolina: How dare you bring one of my students mmmmmmmmm HOW DARE YOU KISS ME WHEN MY HUSBAND'S HOME



Kyle: And then she threw me into the road! BAM!



Kyle: OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING



Kyle: We really blew it.



-SCENE MISSING-



Shiloh: The fuck?

I dunno, that pic was just... in there.

Shiloh: ...she scares me a little.

SHE SCARES ME A LOT



Rebecca: Blah blah rando says what?



Carolina: I'M MAD THAT I'M CHEATING



Kyle: Rando gonna THROW YOU INTO THE ROAD



Kyle: why does this keep happening



Ain't nobody care.



I stand corrected.

Jerome: I stand hunched! But also touched.



Jerome: There's the only woman for me!
Carolina: Yeah! Welcome home... um... definitely the only man in my life.



Shiloh: Smooth, woman. Like a dove on an updraft.
Carolina: Shut up.
Kyle: -hot for teacher-



Kyle: Not big on kids in their underwear, though.

Well thank goodness.



Run! The Siamese Aliens are attacking!



I didn't know you could study not-committing-adultery.

Carolina: In this setting? There are entire college courses.



Brett: .oO(What the FUCK, woman!)



Jerome: My head hurts. I think the baby's sending hate waves your way.



Yeah, well, fuck him then.



Jerome: I could do without the cheering section.



Jerome: Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?
Carolina: NOTHING



Bullshit.

Nobody talks about Stewart.



Bullshit.

Kids don't clean.



Jerome: I told them it was a form of Quidditch.



Just to be clear, you're expecting to be paid for this?



Jerome: Go die in an alley, tramp.



Jerome: By which I meant "hobo," not "slut."
Deborah: Yeah, cool, I'm... trying to take a dump here.



Stephen is also dumping.



Neat.



Carolina: This better be worth breaking my ankles for.



Carolina: Nice zeds there, Deb! Good font choice.



Carolina: Aaaaaand I'm going insane oh. It's just a mirror.



Carolina: I SEE A MONSTER



Pfft. There's no such thing as monsters.

Ursus the Coral Defiler: That's right.



Rebecca: What's missing from this image?



Nothing.



How much wood would a Woodrow row if a Woodrow could row wood?



Alvin: Now it's up to us to say something stupider.
Iris: I have faith in you.



Uh-oh, you've got a hanger-on.



Kelsey: Look. Nick. There's plenty of other fish in the sea.
Nick: You're a fish? Ew. Gross?



Nick: Wots the deal m'birdie, wot wot?



Nick: I SENTENCE YOU TO DIE
Kelsey: THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO WHITE PEOPLE



Nick: THE ARM OF THE LAW IS LONG! AND WOODEN! AND A MALLET!



Nick: That got screwed up pretty quickly.



Speaking of screwing things up pretty quickly!



Iris: Which one is this?

I dunno, make up a name.



Iris: I'll wish to remember it.



Yay! Either Elvis or Irvin.

I'm sure I'll remember which by the time he has to die.



Ivy: You're right, your snobby face is way bitchier.



Iris: Mommy!
?Irvin?: .oO(FOR THE LAST TIME I AIN'T YOUR DAMN MOMMY!)



Stephen: Another daring plan foiled by my inability to interact with physical objects.



Alvin, the Night Stalker!

...I just thought of a great supervillain idea.

You'll see it in about twenty years.



Iris: Mommy!
Irvin: DAMMIT IRIS



Alvin: Daddy!
Irvin: I JUST WENT THROUGH THIS



Irvin: UGH. FINE. "DADDY."
Alvin: His first word!



Irvin: Please tell me you're just my babysitters.



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH STOP IT STOP IT



Man, party time at the Woodrow house!



Iris: WHAT.



Alvin: We're just admiring you.
Ivy: What? No, I was just thinking about how fat she's gotten.



Ivy: Mmm, smell them milksparkles!



Ivy: Man, who let him near fire.



Iris: This way nobody will doubt me when I say he died of self-immolation!

Next time: kissin' cousins.

Only without Elvis.

Or Irvin.

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Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Aug. 5th, 2017 01:53 am (UTC)
You combined the invisible doorbell with the cheating thought bubble to make a funny! You rock!

Poor little doomed baby. Maybe this one will make it? Or... you've already seen this one, huh. D'oh.

I want context for the Melanie pic, LOL! Maybe she just killed some random ugly townie and we didn't miss anything too bad-ass.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )