Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
The rumours of my demise were... oh. There were no rumors. Nobody was worried.
Somewhere in Twikkii Island there's a sadistic travel agent.
Lance: You still alive, Rich?
Good, then let's move on because children are boring.
Nerissa: Great, now he's a zombie ghost police chief?
Have a little faith, guys! And a little Yvonne too.
Don: Dibs on the window seat!
Victor: This is a jail. You're thinking of an airplane.
Don: Cool! Let's go there instead.
Victor: Winding up for a kick, my dear?
Nerissa: It happens automatically whenever you're near.
Don: I take it you two lovebirds are married.
Victor: We're not lovebirds, though I hear she does like to swallow.
Nerissa: Fuck you too, honeybunch.
Aurora: So, what are you in for?
Don: Well hello there pretty lady!
Aurora: Sexual assault then, is it?
Aurora: He's like the governor, only without the charm.
Faith: Hello, crazy!
Victor: Crazy hotttttttttttttttt
Don: How often does he do this?
Aurora: Often enough that I can't look at it anymore.
Even bad girls love bad boys apparently.
Don: Process me baby.
Aurora: What did you do?
Don: What did I do?! Only like fifty chapters of zombie nonsense!
Victor: No flashback for you!
Don: You couldn't handle my flashbacks!
Aurora: Alright, what're you in for?
Yvonne: My arrest was a hate crime against Knowledge Sims.
Yvonne: I invited zombies to eat my family.
Yvonne: And if that's a crime, well-
Aurora: Yes that's a crime. Alright you're booked.
Yvonne: These people have no sense of adventure.
Faith: I did the same thing.
Aurora: Copy-paste it is, then!
Faith: I don't see why my sister and I should be punished. I thought early adulthood was supposed to be about experimentation!
Knowledge Sims of the jail UNITE!
Nerissa: I hate these people.
Nerissa: But I hate you more.
Nerissa: PING! I hate you! HAHAHAHAHA.
Nerissa: You're so dumb!
Victor: It's like our honeymoon all over again!
Nerissa: Hahaha, you look so stupid when you're mad.
Nerissa: OH DON'T EVEN
Don: Getting mad just makes you hotter.
Nerissa: Why is this clogged.
Nerissa: In an empty cell.
Nerissa: DON'T SHIT IN THE CELLS
Brooke: But then why they got shittin' seats?!
Brooke: Man, this job has like zero perks.
Ugh. Lipstick on a Maxis pig.
Cameron devises clever solutions to her predicament.
Don: There's windows here for a reason.
Brooke: I just want you to know that this is not a lot of fun for me, either.
Yvonne: This discipline-and-punish shit is a major abuse of the nexus of power. Don't you motherfuckers read Foucault?!
Brooke: Sure, in between toilet-plunges.
Yvonne: I'm too smart for society.
Brooke: And society breathes a sigh of relief.
The fuck is that even.
Brooke: I JUST REALIZED I'M IN HELL
Brooke: With a fridge, though...
Cameron: This is really giving me a new perspective on authority.
Are you supposed to have that?
Don: Hey, I offered to have the ladies strip-search me!
Don: Random person! This is Don. I am in jail! You are talking to a criminal.
Don: I bet they arrest you on suspicion of something now.
Don: Yeah, there's bars and shit and everything. Very cliché.
Don: It probably has to do with how I ate all those people.
Faith: SAW A RAT
No rats in this game.
Faith: NOT CONVINCED
Is that a gang sign?
Their best moments are when they have nothing to say to each other.
Don: Yeah, I'll have my date in court alright.
Encountering another Nerissa, Nerissa faints in shock.
Noelle, Noelle! Noelle, Noelle!
Nerissa: UGH FINE I'M AWAKE
Justice never sleeps!
It has insomnia.
Yep, she's replaced you.
Cameron: Well I hope she can breathe underwater then, because Poseidon's gonna be pissed if I miss another day of work.
Sims aren't afraid of the cops.
That's how you know this is fiction.
Among other things.
Ah, my heart swells with pride.
At least I hope that's pride.
I'm too young for a heart attack, but not too in-shape!
Faith: Man, I miss being dead.
Yvonne: Grimmy used to read us bedtime stories.
How the fuck am I supposed to caption this shit.
Count Alon: These birds suck.
Count Alon: Maybe I should suck their blood.
Or maybe you should all suck.
OH MY GOD WE GET IT
Nerissa: I don't smell Victor's piss, so I guess the night went well.
Ricky: Who puts bricks in a bathroom?
Faith: Damn. Life is not a dream.
Victor: She's right. It's a nightmare.
There's my favourite glassy-eyed serial killer!
And my favourite Don!
Don: Not much competition there, is there?
Yvonne: I hope we get the death penalty.
Faith: Maybe I can get time off for good behaviour.
Cameron: I'm thinking about having Poseidon intervene on my behalf.
Pros: a tidal wave from Bennett Harbour could easily free you.
Cons: everyone dies.
Cameron: Hmm, the math is so close...
Ricky: I'm so proud to be a part of this.
Next time: teenagers on trial.