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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 295


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


Yay! These people.




Ugh, this is what grows in your carpet when you don't shampoo.



Rebecca: Is that a gang sign? I don't belong to your gang.



Carolina: Your daughter just called my husband a gang member.
Deborah: Oh, she's just going through a phase.
Carolina: It's racist, though.
Deborah: Yeah, a racist phase.



Deborah: 'sup my n-
Jerome: Doooooon't finish that.



Don't tell me, tell her!

Jerome: She knows.



Rebecca: Seriously, seriously, watch this.



Rebecca: It's got stones in.



Shiloh: Tooth fairy here I come!



Carolina: Fuckin' white people.



Rebecca: Zombie Queen, I sentence you to death!
Shiloh: No, no, please! Put me in jail!
Rebecca: JAIL IS FOR REAL PEOPLE



Rebecca: She was married to the governor you know.
Shiloh: Yeah, and he shot her.
Rebecca: Yeah, he's so dreamy.



Shiloh: I wanna grow up to be a zombie queen some day.



Shiloh: ...what?



Shiloh: Hey, did you hear about stupid green dude?



Shiloh: He dead.



Shiloh: Carolina! Come be affectionate!
Rebecca: Oh my god, does that work?
Shiloh: Not on your mom, probably.



Shiloh: Your mom's a bitch.



Rebecca: So yeah, come fill this gaping void in my life.



Neila: These look like poor people.

She must have noticed they don't have a roof.

Andrea: Your MOM was a poor person.
Neila: And my mom was the ZOMBIE QUEEN. Your point?



Andrea: I wish my mom was a supervillain.



Rebecca: I love your nose!
Andrea: Thanks!
Rebecca: Give it to me.



Rebecca: Ooh, look, a kitty!



Neila: How dumb does she think I am? Does she think I'm ten or something?

How old are you?

Neila: Ten and a half!



Shiloh: You're a good maid, Ms. Cavendish.
Deborah: ...



Carolina: Oh, wow. This shit is just too much.

Yeah...

Carolina: It's like you designed this room for the concept of girlhood instead of an actual girl.



Neila: People like me. I'm pretty popular.
Rebecca: Is it your humility they're attracted to?



Andrea: ♪ Breakin' other people's stuff ♪



Is this Mr. Grivver or Mrs. Flibble?

Shiloh: I'll ask.



Jerome: I'm glad we're getting comfortable with each other.
Carolina: I'm gonna need you to reupholster the couch now.



Jerome: Wow! Kids are boring.



I've noticed that when I put Sims in jail, or make them otherwise unlikely to be WALKING AROUND THE NEIGHBOURHOOD, the game prioritizes them for a walkby.



Deborah: And then it turned out the man he killed WAS his father, thus fulfilling the prophecy!
Shiloh: I feel like he could have avoided that by NEVER KILLING ANYBODY.



Deborah: Oh, sure, and I bet he could have avoided marrying his mother by NOT MARRYING ANYONE OLD ENOUGH TO BE HIS MOTHER!





I think maybe a social worker needs to investigate the Sharpes.



Neila: Nah, Andrea just starves herself so she can be as much of a burden on strangers as possible.



Deborah: I wasn't sure if it was a kid or a freight train coming through!
Andrea: That's some high-level agnosia you've got going on there, lady.



Neila: I HAVE NO SHAME



I like how people keep looking at Deborah and thinking "Who is that?"

Especially the people who live with her.

Personally whenever I get to her chapters it's always like "Oh yeah Deborah was a thing."

Spoilers?



"Children's ear canals are small and particularly susceptible to loud noises, and even brief exposure can induce permanent hearing loss... Loud noises can also be very frightening for infants." [Source]



Jerome: Also really loud noises can blow out the sun.



Jerome: Which makes what I'm about to do seem kinda lame.



Have some sense of occasion, Carolina...



Oh god it's a furry



Okay, Carolina, WHAT. In what way did the baby CHEAT ON YOU.



Shiloh: It can fend for itself now, right? We can leave it outside and ignore it?



Deborah: Alright, he's bagged and ready, I'll leave him on the curb for the garbagemen.



Carolina: It's for the best. Stupid cheating baby.



Carolina: DAMMIT DEBORAH HE'S BACK



Deborah: So haha stop with the pointless fury would you
Carolina: Haha that's so funny no I won't



Deborah: Nobody even remembers what you're mad about.



Deborah: Nobody remembers Kendra either.

And I do feel bad about it.



Rebecca: ♪ Calling occupants of interplanetary craft ♪



There is a WHOLE FUCKING HOUSE you guys



I can't see the thought bubbles for the trees!



Jerome: We should kick Deborah out of her house.



Carolina: FUCK ME YOU SEXY SQUATTER YOU



Deborah: I've been considered sexy.

Sure you have.





Jerome: You should have at least captioned that last pic, it feels like I didn't get any sleep at all now.



That's okay, you can sleepwalk through most of this shit anyway.



I like the subtle hints of objects that shouldn't have been visible in the image.

Really keeps me humble.



Good, it's important to establish that Brett's bowels work properly.



A tender stepmother-stepdaughter moment.

Carolina: Alternatively you're staring at my ass.

Yeah, that painted-on black blob is a real turn-on, I gotta say.



And then I angle the camera to get a shot of her crack, thus immediately proving her point.



Shiloh: Why do you always include stuff that makes you look bad?

You've heard of The Death of the Author? I'm trying to make The Suicide of the Author a thing.



Underwear dance!

Is awkward.



Deborah: GET OUT I'M PEEING
Jerome: Hahaha that's so you.



Shiloh: Want me to punch it for you?



Shiloh: Because I'm not really keen on the current resource-sharing situation, to be honest.



Jerome: You should go to space.
Rebecca: I'm down here.
Jerome: Exactly!



Rebecca: Okay, that was kinda clever.

I thought so.

Next time: some people doing some stuff.

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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
lumy12
May. 13th, 2018 03:27 pm (UTC)
Haha, the "stupid green guy"'s death is a source of amusement for the townsfolk! As it should be! And who wouldn't aspire to follow in Mel's footsteps, really? I love that the kiddos act out her story, like you would with any beloved superhero/villain.

I'm kinda surprised you haven't killed Deborah yet, tbh. I don't remember you ever liking her to begin with.

And I'm NOT surprised that you included a nekkid pic where Jerome's cute wee dick is hidden :)
gruglysims
May. 14th, 2018 08:35 am (UTC)
As an historian one of my favourite things about the neighbourhood is its growing stock of local lore. Sim memories are one of the best ideas they had for TS2.

When I played I might have hoped Deborah would magically become interesting - although I put so little effort into creating her that it was never gonna happen. By the time I started posting her stories I already knew she was a dead end.

It's honestly hard to get a pic of naked Jerome where his pinprick is visible. Wait, did I just coin a term? It's too late and I'm too tired to look it up.
lumy12
May. 26th, 2018 05:25 pm (UTC)
Pinprick... Franklinstein... you clever minx you! ...except I think that term usually applies to a female. But whatevs
gruglysims
May. 26th, 2018 08:07 pm (UTC)
Tear down the barriers! Call me all the unmasculine things you want, I play a game with virtual paper dolls.
lumy12
May. 26th, 2018 09:41 pm (UTC)
LOL maybe so... but most paper dolls are not anatomically correct? And their puppeteers don't make them kill and have sex with each other? ...not in that order...
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )