?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 295


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Yay! These people.




Ugh, this is what grows in your carpet when you don't shampoo.



Rebecca: Is that a gang sign? I don't belong to your gang.



Carolina: Your daughter just called my husband a gang member.
Deborah: Oh, she's just going through a phase.
Carolina: It's racist, though.
Deborah: Yeah, a racist phase.



Deborah: 'sup my n-
Jerome: Doooooon't finish that.



Don't tell me, tell her!

Jerome: She knows.



Rebecca: Seriously, seriously, watch this.



Rebecca: It's got stones in.



Shiloh: Tooth fairy here I come!



Carolina: Fuckin' white people.



Rebecca: Zombie Queen, I sentence you to death!
Shiloh: No, no, please! Put me in jail!
Rebecca: JAIL IS FOR REAL PEOPLE



Rebecca: She was married to the governor you know.
Shiloh: Yeah, and he shot her.
Rebecca: Yeah, he's so dreamy.



Shiloh: I wanna grow up to be a zombie queen some day.



Shiloh: ...what?



Shiloh: Hey, did you hear about stupid green dude?



Shiloh: He dead.



Shiloh: Carolina! Come be affectionate!
Rebecca: Oh my god, does that work?
Shiloh: Not on your mom, probably.



Shiloh: Your mom's a bitch.



Rebecca: So yeah, come fill this gaping void in my life.



Neila: These look like poor people.

She must have noticed they don't have a roof.

Andrea: Your MOM was a poor person.
Neila: And my mom was the ZOMBIE QUEEN. Your point?



Andrea: I wish my mom was a supervillain.



Rebecca: I love your nose!
Andrea: Thanks!
Rebecca: Give it to me.



Rebecca: Ooh, look, a kitty!



Neila: How dumb does she think I am? Does she think I'm ten or something?

How old are you?

Neila: Ten and a half!



Shiloh: You're a good maid, Ms. Cavendish.
Deborah: ...



Carolina: Oh, wow. This shit is just too much.

Yeah...

Carolina: It's like you designed this room for the concept of girlhood instead of an actual girl.



Neila: People like me. I'm pretty popular.
Rebecca: Is it your humility they're attracted to?



Andrea: ♪ Breakin' other people's stuff ♪



Is this Mr. Grivver or Mrs. Flibble?

Shiloh: I'll ask.



Jerome: I'm glad we're getting comfortable with each other.
Carolina: I'm gonna need you to reupholster the couch now.



Jerome: Wow! Kids are boring.



I've noticed that when I put Sims in jail, or make them otherwise unlikely to be WALKING AROUND THE NEIGHBOURHOOD, the game prioritizes them for a walkby.



Deborah: And then it turned out the man he killed WAS his father, thus fulfilling the prophecy!
Shiloh: I feel like he could have avoided that by NEVER KILLING ANYBODY.



Deborah: Oh, sure, and I bet he could have avoided marrying his mother by NOT MARRYING ANYONE OLD ENOUGH TO BE HIS MOTHER!





I think maybe a social worker needs to investigate the Sharpes.



Neila: Nah, Andrea just starves herself so she can be as much of a burden on strangers as possible.



Deborah: I wasn't sure if it was a kid or a freight train coming through!
Andrea: That's some high-level agnosia you've got going on there, lady.



Neila: I HAVE NO SHAME



I like how people keep looking at Deborah and thinking "Who is that?"

Especially the people who live with her.

Personally whenever I get to her chapters it's always like "Oh yeah Deborah was a thing."

Spoilers?



"Children's ear canals are small and particularly susceptible to loud noises, and even brief exposure can induce permanent hearing loss... Loud noises can also be very frightening for infants." [Source]



Jerome: Also really loud noises can blow out the sun.



Jerome: Which makes what I'm about to do seem kinda lame.



Have some sense of occasion, Carolina...



Oh god it's a furry



Okay, Carolina, WHAT. In what way did the baby CHEAT ON YOU.



Shiloh: It can fend for itself now, right? We can leave it outside and ignore it?



Deborah: Alright, he's bagged and ready, I'll leave him on the curb for the garbagemen.



Carolina: It's for the best. Stupid cheating baby.



Carolina: DAMMIT DEBORAH HE'S BACK



Deborah: So haha stop with the pointless fury would you
Carolina: Haha that's so funny no I won't



Deborah: Nobody even remembers what you're mad about.



Deborah: Nobody remembers Kendra either.

And I do feel bad about it.



Rebecca: ♪ Calling occupants of interplanetary craft ♪



There is a WHOLE FUCKING HOUSE you guys



I can't see the thought bubbles for the trees!



Jerome: We should kick Deborah out of her house.



Carolina: FUCK ME YOU SEXY SQUATTER YOU



Deborah: I've been considered sexy.

Sure you have.





Jerome: You should have at least captioned that last pic, it feels like I didn't get any sleep at all now.



That's okay, you can sleepwalk through most of this shit anyway.



I like the subtle hints of objects that shouldn't have been visible in the image.

Really keeps me humble.



Good, it's important to establish that Brett's bowels work properly.



A tender stepmother-stepdaughter moment.

Carolina: Alternatively you're staring at my ass.

Yeah, that painted-on black blob is a real turn-on, I gotta say.



And then I angle the camera to get a shot of her crack, thus immediately proving her point.



Shiloh: Why do you always include stuff that makes you look bad?

You've heard of The Death of the Author? I'm trying to make The Suicide of the Author a thing.



Underwear dance!

Is awkward.



Deborah: GET OUT I'M PEEING
Jerome: Hahaha that's so you.



Shiloh: Want me to punch it for you?



Shiloh: Because I'm not really keen on the current resource-sharing situation, to be honest.



Jerome: You should go to space.
Rebecca: I'm down here.
Jerome: Exactly!



Rebecca: Okay, that was kinda clever.

I thought so.

Next time: some people doing some stuff.

Recent Posts from This Journal

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
lumy12
May. 13th, 2018 03:27 pm (UTC)
Haha, the "stupid green guy"'s death is a source of amusement for the townsfolk! As it should be! And who wouldn't aspire to follow in Mel's footsteps, really? I love that the kiddos act out her story, like you would with any beloved superhero/villain.

I'm kinda surprised you haven't killed Deborah yet, tbh. I don't remember you ever liking her to begin with.

And I'm NOT surprised that you included a nekkid pic where Jerome's cute wee dick is hidden :)
gruglysims
May. 14th, 2018 08:35 am (UTC)
As an historian one of my favourite things about the neighbourhood is its growing stock of local lore. Sim memories are one of the best ideas they had for TS2.

When I played I might have hoped Deborah would magically become interesting - although I put so little effort into creating her that it was never gonna happen. By the time I started posting her stories I already knew she was a dead end.

It's honestly hard to get a pic of naked Jerome where his pinprick is visible. Wait, did I just coin a term? It's too late and I'm too tired to look it up.
lumy12
May. 26th, 2018 05:25 pm (UTC)
Pinprick... Franklinstein... you clever minx you! ...except I think that term usually applies to a female. But whatevs
gruglysims
May. 26th, 2018 08:07 pm (UTC)
Tear down the barriers! Call me all the unmasculine things you want, I play a game with virtual paper dolls.
lumy12
May. 26th, 2018 09:41 pm (UTC)
LOL maybe so... but most paper dolls are not anatomically correct? And their puppeteers don't make them kill and have sex with each other? ...not in that order...
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )