gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 296


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


The House of the Rising Townies.




Ivy: Nobody can burn pancakes like my dad, right, lady?



Ivy: Ratfuck lady who lives with my dad?



I didn't know those bottles were electric.



Let's all bond over how Kelsey needs to put some fucking clothes on.



Alvin: Can we skip the bonding and go right to the clothing?



Kelsey: Clothes are gross.

No, kids are gross. And kids without clothes are worse.



Kelsey: Science is worse.

Than kids without clothes?

Kelsey: Than anything.

You'll make a fine politician.



Bitches love a man who can make a stack of charcoal bricks.





Somehow this doesn't strike me as a pregnancy activity.



What are you doing here?

Andrew: Just judgin'.



That ain't workin'.



THAT'S the way you do it!



Iris: WHY.



No, seriously, why.



Man, Ivy's right, science is worse.



Alvin: Goodbye trustworthy spouse!



Iris: He's gone, let's do it.



William: Stupid self-improving townies.



You couldn't at least have waited until he was gone?

Iris: How can we sneak around behind his back if his back isn't here?
Alvin: -puts his foot through the floor-



Yeah, that's definitely the front door.



Iris: You fucked my daughter.



William: Now to complete the set!



All my Sims have the same Turn-On.

"Married to Someone Else."



Iris: Wanna go make out inside and then come back out here to fuck?
William: Inefficient! I like it.



Childhoods exist to be ruined.



Ivy: Bye! Don't answer, you're not real.



Baby: Hello? Who's knocking?



Rebecca: Go find your own swings.
Ivy: These are my swings.
Rebecca: Great, you've found them! Now go away.



Baby: OOF



Baby: WHAT IS HAPPENING



I think my Turn-On is that hair model.



Kelsey: Alright, turd, into the bowl with you.



Iris: Pregnant blowjob miming!



Ivy: Coarse, but dessicated!



I've been saying that for years.



Kelsey: I'm gonna take careful notes for bribe-related reasons.



Iris: Isn't it your bedtime?
Kelsey: No?
Iris: All questions to children are rhetorical, Kelsey.



Kelsey: WELL THAT'S TRUE



Kelsey: Couch will never betray me.

Put your hands under the cushions and then say that.



♪ Rock lobster! ♪

Wait, no, that's not right.



I don't have a thousand ships, but if I did...



Stephen: OH SURE RUB IT IN



William: Yes, sir! Rubbing it in, sir!



Stephen: I'm telling.



Iris: ohhhhh what's up with the shadows



William: They're fucked too!



♪ A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age ♪

Yes, seriously, that's a song lyric.



William: OHHHH I WANT ALL THE WIVES



Alvin: Stupid ghost, make a friend or something.



Iris: I can't believe that fit inside me.



Iris: It's all downhill from here.
William: Wait'll you get arthritis.



Subtle backstabbing visual is subtle.

Until explained.



I don't think there's ever been a pregnant Bond girl.



A good spy always leaves evidence of his misdeeds.



William: Hey Ghost Dud, what's up?



Alvin: The witch trials begin.



William: AAAAAAGH THANK GOD I'M WEARING GLASSES



William: Man, dead people suck.



William: Maybe I shouldn't have made so many of them.



That's what HE said.

Alvin: Who's "he"?
Iris: Me to know, you to find out.



Iris: Except hopefully not.



Iris: Nine inches, Jesus Christ.



Stephen: You anglin' for a heart attack, old man?



First you poke her, then you poker?

William: You came off hiatus for THAT?



No child has even enjoyed making their bed.

Ivy: What about building up a static charge to zap their sleeping sister, though?



BZZZZZZZZZT

Iris: You set the round timer, I'll be the referee.



Apparently the shock shorted their brains out.



Underwear bonding!

Stop making it a thing.

Next time: I reverse what little goodwill I've built up lately.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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