gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 331


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which a brief palate cleanse is attempted.




And I attempt to make the mayor a character, with mixed results.



Dagmar: Spoiler alert.



Dagmar's a pretty cool lady.

Dagmar: Flattery alert.



I see you've got something of a theme going.

Dagmar: It's useful for politicians to think in black and white.



Useful, but dangerous.

Dagmar: I'll tell you what's dangerous: formal wear.



Dagmar: The things we do for objectification.



Dagmar: But hey, juice!



Amazing juice, apparently.

Dagmar: How sweet the sound!



Dagmar: But suddenly I can't hear it.



Dagmar: I'm so rich I can afford to balance my shit precariously.



Dagmar: Hi Emmy!
Emmy: That fucking NOISE!
Dagmar: You don't like my voice?



Dagmar: Ugh, me either.



Emmy: It was her voice.



Emmy: Who doesn't like helicopters?



Blazej: So this is basically just a bus, right?



Blazej: Right?



Dagmar: Just don't hit anything.



Blazej: Not even really breakable stuff?



Dagmar: We are really breakable stuff, buddy.



Blazej: I never thought about it that way. Thanks for the mortality check.



Dagmar: You're safe. You're a driver NPC. I don't think you can be killed, with only a stub character file.



Bill: Are you offering me skin pigment?



Nathaniel: Sidewalks are for nerds.



Who the fuck is mad at DAGMAR.



Dagmar: Jealous is more like.



Certainly not jealous of the company you keep.



Agatha: Thank god the helicopter is drowning her voice out.



Dagmar: I have literally no idea who you are.
Agatha: Call the cops on them.



Dagmar: I now literally have every idea who you are!



Dagmar: ...and you can teleport?



Dagmar: Hello, SCIA? I've got a teleporting stalker.



Dagmar: Yeah, she's in my house now. I have a house now. And she's in it. Now.



Dagmar: Yes, I would judge you if you kissed your boss.



Dagmar: Now I'm thinking about criminals for some reason. And now you've teleported in. So who am I talking to.

What is happening in that phone?



Stop thinking about Don! We don't want him here!



Dagmar: I think I'm talking to Don now.

Don.

Dagmar: Yeah.

Don who is in prison.

Dagmar: I guess if you've got nobody for your one phone call, you call the mayor?



Don: Jail sucks.
Dagmar: Glad to hear it?



Theresa: Translucent remote!
Agatha: Neat.



Cheryl: So how are you people coming with catching Daisy White?
Theresa: Catching her? What did she do? Also she's dead!
Agatha: Wow, don't you guys read the chapters?



Dagmar: C-listers out.



Cheryl: I made C-list!



Dagmar: MACARONI STRETCH



Dagmar: So thought bubble cameos are your new thing, huh?



Dagmar: I don't know you, and I don't care to know you.

She has read the chapters!



Dagmar: Haha, yeah! They scarred me.



Dagmar: Scarred me.



Sorry.

Dagmar: It's cool, I know you have a quota.



This barely meets it.

Dagmar: Hey?

By quantity, I meant. Not quality.

Dagmar: Fair enough.



Oh!

Why?



Dagmar: Man, hitmen are expensive.

You should just kill her with an axe.

Irony.



Dagmar: Are you a hitman? You look like a hitman.



Dagmar: I think I want to hit her myself.



To this day I still think of this as Dagmar's underwear.

Dagmar: "To this day?" What happens to me?

Lady, it's been six years. Something has happened to everyone.



Dagmar: As long as everyone is suffering, I guess it's fine.



CLANG



Dagmar: Where does one get an axe?



Dagmar: On the upside, perpetual clang machine!



Dagmar: On the downside, garbage can cramp.



On the poopside-

Dagmar: Get out of my bathroom.



SO WHAT



So pretty.



Emmy: Hey badhair.
Emmy: Hey.

EMMY PARTY.



Dagmar: This is why I lock the gate.



Dagmar: That, and I'm neurotic.

Me too.

Next time: jailnanigans.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 12 April 2012.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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