Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Okay so it's not the shortest, but it's still pretty short.
Rapidly becoming the Vieux Family.
Laci: Who you calling vieux?
Wren: We were wondering if you could turn off the thing that's keeping us from leaving.
Laci: We have a thing that does that?
Wren: Don't you know? Aren't you an evil super spy?
Laci: I am pretty super!
Laci: I'll put in a good word for you. Try not to piss yourself.
Wren: Trying so hard right now.
Hailey: I'm more of a shitting danger, myself.
Jizelle: Outzide iz grozz.
Corey: Plenty of gross inside too, I'm afraid.
Jizelle: Take a peecjur, it'll last longair.
Corey: Way ahead of you.
The Babe With Two Heads.
Corey: Bit of a stretch.
Neil: You know what I'd like to stretch?
SHUT UP SHUT UP
Laci: It's your birthday, kiddo! Make a wish!
Elvis: .oO(I wish you'd call me by my GODDAMN NAME)
Brandi: I'm not getting up.
Laci: He'll get up enough for both of us.
I'm sure there's a rhinestone joke in here somewhere.
It's just too much pain for too little gain.
Laci: Just like motherhood! In my opinion.
Well, I mean. You're CECILIA's mother. You'd need a lot of gain to counteract the pain she's caused.
Laci: I can only hope this one will turn out just as interesting.
Elvis: .oO(I won't.)
Laci: At least he smells interesting.
Why don't you get a nanny?
Laci: Because we'd either have to kill her for seeing too much, or watch her die of malnutrition on the doorstep.
Personally I'd enjoy seeing that.
Laci: Then you must be loving this death of a thousand cuts I'm suffering.
Laci: Life is like a full potty.
Brandi: You never know what you're gonna get?
Laci: Sure you do. You're gonna get shit.
Jizelle: I want a tripod bazooka.
Laci: Maybe I could blend him.
Elvis: .oO(It's good to be wanted.)
Hailey: Tell me that's a nanite cloud.
Laci: Just thinking about the front door gives me OCD.
Laci: And thinking about Corey gives me PDD.
Wren: This is BS.
Laci: Go to bed.
Laci: You can't think of a caption for this pic. It's five in the morning. Go to bed.
...see you in the afternoon.
Laci: Get some sleep?
Yeah, but now I can't remember what we were doing.
Laci: Your daughter is trapped on our lawn. Please collect her.
That was a nice thing to do.
Assuming you didn't just get Stephen trapped on the lawn as well.
Stephen: WREN! COME HERE! BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING THERE
Wren: OH THANK GOD CALL THE COPS
Stephen: Daddy's little marionette.
Stephen: ...daddy's little sprinkler?
Wren: NOT MY FINEST HOUR
Wren: UH UH I'M PREPARING FOR MY EIGHTIES
Wren: I need food. And a shower. And counselling.
Stephen: Oh, excellent. Touch me. Great.
Stephen: I hated these clothes I'm wearing.
Wren: BE MORE SUPPORTIVE
Wren: Are you feeling an irrepressible urge to stay here?
Stephen: Nope. Maybe if you've already lived here, it doesn't work on you?
Wren: That's stupid but then this whole thing is stupid.
Now this is a really good shot. The next pic I took isn't nearly as good.
But I just had to share it because THAT STINK TRAIL.
You appear to be writing in a novel.
Laci: Nonsense! I'm carving out letters for a ransom note.
A ransom note for who?
Laci: Spencer! His family doesn't know he's dead.
Laci: Should I make it rhyme? Decisions, decisions.
You're a perfect storm of attractive and unhealthy-looking.
And by "perfect" I mean "toxic."
Brandi: I know we haven't done a song this chapter but please don't make it "Toxic."
Brandi: That's no thing to wake up to.
Jizelle: Bettair zan waking up to bubblez.
Or being up all night because you can't get off the porch.
Elle: Yeah, that's stupid.
Brooke: Welcome to Porch Club.
Corey: I think we need a new intruder handling system.
Jizelle: It reelly doezn't deflect suzpizion when ze people are all dying on our doorztep.
Jizelle: I can't handle that accent much longer.
Laci: I'm feeling kinda bad about being bad.
Laci: Even though it looks so good on me.
Brandi: You get used to it. Or Cecilia kills you.
Brandi: It's not a difficult decision when put in those terms.
Brandi: Squeaky-clean on the outside, a hot murderin' mess on the inside!
Corey: It's a living.
Next time: 'stutes.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 9 June 2012.