I found a vector art program that adds some drag to the pen tool so I don't constantly overthink my strokes and it doesn't matter that my hands aren't steady and uh apparently I can sort of pseudo-draw now. Only sort of, in very specific circumstances, but it's a nice feeling.
It's called Inkscape, it's freeware, and I think I'm going to do something I've never done with freeware before: thank them with actual money.
'cuz this was a lot of fun:

If you're thinking "that was probably traced on top of a screenshot," well no fucking duh. I'm still happy with it. And after all, I took the damn screenshot.
There's a good chance you'll never know what prompted me to draw this, and a bunch of others, but hey.
Maybe I'll post more at some point.
Maybe I won't?
Link to a bigger version, as if you'd want that. It's way bigger than its intended size, so it'll look worse, because it's almost certainly got a few layers in the wrong order.
THE CHRONICLES WILL CONTINUE. I've just been busy.