I've written a novel.
It's an adaptation of the first nine chapters or so of the Chronicles, and it's called Serial Adultery. For maximum hubris I've declared it Book 1 of a series called A Symphony of Sex and Death, which should shame me into continuing to write for some time.
When I say it's an adaptation, that's what I mean. It's not the Chronicles in a book. It's not a series of screenshots with captions. It's a complete novel, with a complete story, written in complete, exceedingly wacky sentences.
Here's what that entails:
1) It'll be available in print and EPUB versions.
2) Every inch of The Sims 2 has been scrubbed out of the story and replaced with original world-building, most of which I like a lot better than what it's replacing.
3) Every character has been revised and expanded. All the characters I didn't name have been given new names, all the characters I didn't craft have been given new appearances, and everything has been tweaked either a little or a lot to make it all work together better. It's basically an alternate universe to that of the Chronicles; one difference among very, very many being that I legitimately own this alternate universe.
4) Most of the scenes from the Chronicles have been reproduced, but all of them have been re-imagined, their dialogue re-written. The entire thing now hangs together as a self-contained story - the first storyline, about the founding of the valley and the origin of its two serial killers - but also leads into future stories much more organically.
5) A metric fuckton of new scenes, new characters, new material, and new jokes has been added. The new stuff outweighs the old stuff. You might remember jokes and events and such, but it won't feel like re-reading the Chronicles. It'll be like watching a movie adaptation. A good movie adaptation, I think.
6) Having to choose between prudishly cutting away during sex scenes, and writing ridiculously over-the-top, hilarious sex scenes, I chose the latter, hard.
7) The book is illustrated. There are twenty-nine illustrations, not counting a bevy of plot-relevant business cards I've also whipped up. The illustrations are in full colour in the EPUB, and black and white in print. Every major character, and most secondary characters are illustrated.
(The ISBN barcode goes in that big ugly gap, if you're wondering.)
So! It's a full book, around 350 print pages, about one hundred thousand words.
It's super weird.
It's very funny.
I'm happy with it.
I'm just finishing the very definitely final proofreading pass, and then it'll be available. Since obviously I was never going to send letters to three hundred literary agents to see if they'd publish my murder sex joke book, it'll be self-published via Lulu.com and available at a bunch of different sites.
I'll let you know.
I'm going to put up a free sample of it once it's been approved for publication. Probably the first chapter, unless I figure out a more illustrative portion.
P.S. I won't stop writing the Chronicles.
P.P.S. If your LJ name starts with an 'L' and is four letters long, or contains a name which starts with an 'L' and is four letters long, and you read this journal, you're one of two people who obviously can have the book for free. I'm not saying you have to want it; I'm saying you can have it if you do, because you're awesome and I owe you a lot.