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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 392


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates every damn day!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which spying is hard.



Jane: Another day at the destabilizing third-world democracy mines.



Jane: And then a stop at the mechanic's, to get the floor put back in my car.



Jane: I still think walling the parking lot in was an extreme measure.



Jane: Even if somebody knew what this place was, they'd have to be a moron to try to get inside.



Jane: Even the posted guard is a bit much.

Nice job wrecking the shot with Build Mode lines visible, Past Grugly.

Past Grugly: I am the gift that keeps on taking!



Aren't you worried about alarms?

Laci: I've never been much of an alarmist.



Laci: Also my contact cut the phone lines.



So wait. Whose side are you on?

Laci: I'd hardly call it a "side," what with there being only two people on it.



Laci: I didn't pick it, it picked me.



So you're... spying for Cecilia.

Laci: Yep.

The evil secret agents... are they also spying for Cecilia?

Laci: Maybe! She doesn't let her one spy know what the other spy is doing.

It's not a good sign when my plot confuses me.



Laci: Your problem is the details. You need to consider the bigger picture!

What's the bigger picture?

Laci: A picture of everything, on fire.



Laci: The SCIA wants to keep the status quo. TAUTOLOGY wants to become the status quo. ENTROPY wants a status chao.



Which one is TAUTOLOGY again?

Laci: Cory and Brandi.

Aren't Cory and Brandi also in the SCIA?

Laci: Yep.

Isn't Brandi ALSO in ENTROPY?

Laci: It must be a lot of fun inside her head, yeah.



So you're stealing info for... Cecilia?

Laci: Right.

Who is in charge of ENTROPY.

Laci: Right.

Is she also in charge of TAUTOLOGY?

Laci: Look, it's trying to think.



Laci: No, she's just manipulating them. Through me.

How is she contacting you? I've never seen you meet, or get calls, or whatever.

Laci: You know those weird quilt signs they put on old barns?

Yes?

Laci: Those are QR codes with evil secret agent instructions encoded.



...

Laci: Shit, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sprung that one on you all at once.



Laci: Clean your brains off the walls before you follow me.



Keith: You can stand inside the door, you know. I doubt anyone's gonna try an external assault.



Here's a fun game. Download the previous image and this one, and switch back and forth between them. Earthquake simulator!



Cory: Did you feel that?
Brandi: That's what she said.



Cory: There's my favourite plainclothes defective!



Laci: The part of the plan where I wait on the roof in the rain until the workday is over is my least favourite part of the plan.



Cory: We got a report of a break-in at the courthouse. Look into it, would you?



William: Maybe you could work together on that one.



William: It sounds right up your ASS. I mean ALLEY.



Cory: Nice to see you, Mr. Governor.
William: I thought I'd drop by, invade your workspace, see how you like it.



Cory: I don't know what you're talking about.
William: I should've just set off my office bomb.
Cory: You bombed your office?
William: You'd be surprised what I've bombed.



William: Briefly.



Jane: He's so cool.



Keith: Checkin' in on us, boss?
William: Checkin' up on you. I see you're still keeping an open mind.



Keith: It's not open, it's just slow.



William: Drink some coffee or something.



Cory: So, the phone lines are down.
Keith: UGH. It'll take HOURS for headquarters to send someone.
Cory: We could just call the phone company.
Keith: And then bury whoever they send, afterwards.
Cory: I volunteer.



Keith: Oh, hey, I left it logged in! Now I can spend the rest of the day wondering if everyone here knows what kind of porn I like.



Keith: And watching the kind of porn I like.



Keith: An entire Coke bottle?!



Keith: SOMEONE SAW MY PORN



Keith: BRANDI DID YOU SEE MY PORN



CAN WE FOCUS



Keith: Someone's been accessing my terminal!
Brandi: How do you know that?
Keith: Because it was logged on!
Brandi: So?
Keith: So I forgot my password a week ago, and I've been too embarassed to tell anybody!



Brandi: Are you saying someone else knows your password, and you don't?
Keith: See, this is why I didn't tell anybody!



Keith: Someone's cyber-spoofing us.
Brandi: That's not-
Keith: I want all y'all to get to your vehicles and drive directly to the internet!
Cory: That's not-
Keith: Arrest Google, arrest Al Gore, arrest AskJeeves, whatever. Find out who it was!
Jane: The fuck is AskJeeves?!



Keith: WE'RE COMPROMISED!
Cory: I know I am!



Keith: This is serious! My browser history is a national security issue, because I don't know how to clear it or use incognito tabs!



Cory: The idea of the SCIA chief being extorted by PornHub makes me feel giddy.



Keith: Well, giddy up!
Cory: The idea of doing work makes me fatigued.



Brandi: I'll arrest the real person, Jane, you arrest the search engines.



Cory: I'll go round up Anonymous!



Brandi: I think we should consider just killing Keith.



Brandi: Oops, I definitely didn't mean to hit that button.



BEEP BEEP

Laci: Music to my ears! Or it would be, if they weren't full of RAINWATER



Cory: I'm gonna go get a burger.
Jane: I'm just gonna go home.



Laci: Home sounds good.



Laci: Then again, so does a burger.



So, how's being a triple agent treating you?

Brandi: The pay is good but the hours are murder.



Brandi: Get it.



Wait, you're not done?

Laci: I'm downloading gigs of data in the background so they don't notice it. It's been going this entire time.

I wouldn't've thought you could be so sneaky, looking at you.



Laci: Yeah, I'm so low-key I could almost fall asleep.



Laci: Luckily, rain.



Laci: WHAT A LOVELY NIGHT ON THE TOWN



Brandi: I'm warmer and dryer, but not a lot less bored.



Brandi: I said NOT A LOT LESS BORED.



Brandi: I'm surprised she missed that opportunity.



tap tap tap

Brandi: Oh, derp, I forgot to unlock the windows.



Brandi: I bet she was really eager to spring out at me. Serves her right for always trying to-



Brandi: GAH



Brandi: Okay, so: I'm on your side, Cory's on your side but doesn't know it, and Jane, fuck Jane.



"Penny": How do you know you're on my side? Nobody but me even knows what my side is.



Brandi: I know it's the side that's got you on it, which makes it the least dangerous side by default.



"Penny": Alright, well. Be ready to move when I give the signal.
Brandi: When will that be, roughly?
"Penny": Within the next ten, twenty years.



"Penny": Okay, here's the important part.



"Penny": psst psst psst



Brandi: WOW, really?
"Penny": Yep!
Brandi: I can't wait to see that!



"Penny": You're gonna, though.



Brandi: You used to be all about chaos in the here-and-now. When did your plans get so... long-term?
"Penny": When you get older, you start thinking about your legacy.



"Penny": It's never too late to make a change, make something of yourself. Especially something terrible.



Brandi: I thought I might take up crochet.



Brandi: Okay, bye?



Brandi: I need new/any friends.



Laci: Well, look who it is.
"Penny": Will you?



Brandi: You know DAMN WELL I wanted to answer that call!



Brandi: FUCKING phones.



Brandi: Oh, hey. No, we haven't looked into the break-in at your office yet, somebody looked at porn on Keith's computer and he sent us out to arrest the internet.



Brandi: I hate him so much I think it just made me stop hating you.



Brandi: It is never too late to change!



Brandi: Some things.



Brandi: Man, we really need to do something about this.

They're just.. fucking sitting there, where anybody could pick them up!

Brandi: They're also loaded. But, like, do you unload them first, or put them somewhere safe first? It's just too hard to get things started sometimes, you know?



Brandi: Nothing ever gets done until somebody gets hurt.



Brandi: And we're about due.



Brandi: Why'd you come back?
Jane: Because I don't trust you here alone.
Brandi: That's fair.



Brandi: Why'd you come back?
Cory: Because I don't trust you here alone with Jane.
Brandi: That's fair.



Keith: Why'd I come back? BECAUSE I SUCCEEDED!



Brandi: Is that... the mailman?



Jihoon: I'm a package carrier.
Keith: HE ADMITS IT!



Jihoon: Why've you got swords on your wall?
Keith: Because we're secret agents! Duh.



Brandi: Good job keeping the secret, boss.



Brandi: Whoah. Okay.
Keith: Success makes my pee-pee hard!



Jihoon: You're making this too easy.



Brandi: Back up a bit, chief.
Keith: Why?



Brandi: So I can DRAW.

Next time: sorry about that, chief.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 15 July 2012 to 16 July 2012.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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