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EA Games Sucks

Okay folks, rant time. Remember Maxis? The funny little company that made the SimCity games? Their corporate mascot was a llama, their visionary game designer was an eccentric goofball named Will Wright, and their sense of humour was legendary. Better yet, Maxis was generally well-known as a company that cared about their customers, encouraged them to provide feedback, and listened to the combined voice of the gaming community as well and as often as they possibly could. I liked Maxis. I trusted Maxis. You knew what you were getting with Maxis.

Electronic Arts, or EA Games, is not Maxis. They own the sad remains of what used to be one of the true icons of video gaming, but they possess none of its charm or ability. I've heard Star Wars referred to as "George Lucas' accidental masterpiece" and that description applies quite well to EA's work on The Sims 2. It's beautiful in spite of the intentions of its creators. It was released in beta format masquerading as a finished product, and would be almost totally unplayable without the efforts of the modding community, but at its core it's a fantastic product.

Which makes it all the more maddening that most of its satellite products (the expansion and "stuff" packs) were created by the most inept and repugnant entertainment giant trafficking in electronic media today. Games made by EA install exceptionally aggressive copy protection software which flies under your computer's radar and systematically destroys your hard disk and disc drives while collecting information and beaming it home for further diabolical study. They are routinely so riddled with bugs that it's become obvious that they rely on technologically-savvy gamers to fix their mistakes for them. And god forbid you should ever need the assistance of their support team, who treat you like an infant and never seem to understand even the simplest of problems.

Today, for instance, I downloaded a combined Expansion and Stuff Pack Collection to replace one of my aging CD copies. It downloads, then tries to install itself without being asked to (?!?!). This installation actually doesn't do anything at all, except tell the game that the Expansion and Stuff packs are now installed. Worse, the downloaded files disappear once the Collection is "installed"; "uninstalling" the not-really-installed Collection just means you have to downloaded over a gig of files again (if they were ever really downloaded in the first place).

What did the gibbering apes at EA have to tell me after I politely and patiently explained that the program I had just bought from their company existed only in the realm of make-believe?

KIETH: Did you install all games of the sims 3 in order?
Grugly: This is The Sims 2. And I have only installed one game so far. I haven't even gotten up to the Fun with Pets Collection. I usually download the games and then install them one by one, but this one decided it wanted to install itself... and then failed to even do that.
KIETH: I am providing you an installation order
Grugly: I do not need one.
Grugly: I know the installation order.
KIETH: Please install your game in that correct order

Thanks "Kieth." Sometimes I forget that my favourite game is owned by a satanic cult hidden under the front of a software company.

Assholes. If you need to buy an EA game, get it used. Don't put another penny into their greedy franchise-fucking pockets.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 28th, 2011 07:34 am (UTC)
Look, Kieth has been more than patient with you I think. So stop being childish and RESPECT THE FUCKING SIMS3 INSTALLATION ORDER for heaven's sake :D
Feb. 28th, 2011 08:13 pm (UTC)
I did get the impression that Kieth was getting fed up with my bullshit.
Feb. 28th, 2011 09:47 am (UTC)
Ugh, this is why I refuse to get a job in 'customer service' and the like. Being surrounded by people like Kieth.. I would most likely go Postal. -_-

Thank heavens for all us little simmers, eh.. Hope you find a solution for the phantom EP pack.

Feb. 28th, 2011 08:14 pm (UTC)
Well, it turns out that the bizarro autonomous installer DOES install the game, just to a completely wrong directory. So I guess I'll just... install everything up to the Pets pack, then... download the Pets pack, and move its installed files to where they're supposed to go after it installs itself without being asked to.

Because that's something I should have to do with a product released in the last ten years.
Mar. 1st, 2011 05:18 am (UTC)
Weirdness! I've never had such problems installing. I just won my only remaining EP (Bon Voyage) off eBay... so TAKE THAT, EA games! Hehe. Now if only I could get the Holiday stuff pack...

Kieth needs to get a life. I got mine out of order and they worked anyway. Pfffft.
Mar. 1st, 2011 07:38 pm (UTC)
Well, you've probably never installed this particular pack, or this particular format of it then. It's broken on their end, but they'll clearly never admit it. I mean, this installation attempt was the first thing I did, after updates, on my NEWLY REFORMATTED computer. There's no room for it to be anything but their fault. Stupid EAxis.

I'm glad you're not supporting the evil empire. Also... about the Holiday Stuff Pack... I strongly do not recommend that you get it from a torrent. Do not use a program like Bittorrent, available at www.bittorrent.com, to download it. I definitely didn't do exactly that.

I always install them in order anyway, but I'm mildly OCD.
Mar. 4th, 2011 12:09 am (UTC)
Not that I've ever used any programs like that or anything, but I've heard that unless you also use some kind of "blocking" device it's risky these days and probably not worth it... not that *I've* ever gotten any emails from my ISP about downloading stuff... well, it's a good thing you didn't do it with the holiday stuff pack!
Mar. 4th, 2011 12:18 am (UTC)
Were I to have done it, which I didn't, my virus checker would have found any problems with the file. But thankfully that didn't have to happen.
Mar. 4th, 2011 12:33 am (UTC)
Oh? Good to know... that certain virus checkers look for problems like that, I mean :)
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )