Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates every damn day!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
In which geez, let's see if I can go a whole update without making a music video out of it.
Andrew: Now I see why those women don't want to be in the refrigerator!
Mallory: It's good that you're naked. We've abolished clothing in your absence.
Andrew: That would be great if most of the people in this house weren't my family.
Andrew: Oh, good. Hibernation sickness is a thing.
Andrew: Thank god you don't have the technology to make me shatter.
What are you doing?
Amin: Marking my territory while the marking's ripe.
Did you bring that up from the downstairs fridge?
Mallory: I don't want food from the dude fridge, so yes.
Are you eating in the bathroom?
Mallory: I'm eating in PRIVACY.
Nathaniel: If you think about it, dad's lucky.
Margaret: How you figure?
Nathaniel: He's the only one who had privacy this entire time!
Mallory: GET OUT OF MY TERRITORY
Margaret: You're gross.
Nathaniel: Only "gross," after years underground!? SWEET!
Nathaniel: It's the erection that bothers me.
Amin: ALL THIS IS MINE
Andrew: Beg to differ.
Andrew: So hey, I miss anything?
Margaret: Yeah, there's magic everywhere and your sisters are on the lam and your ex-wife's on the lam and Penny's apparently evil.
Andrew: MAN, I love that pink hair!
Amin: That huge wacky infodump, and you're focusing on MALLORY?
Andrew: That huge wacky infodump consisted entirely of distressing details, AMIN.
Nathaniel: Yeah, I called her number and they said she'd moved. On.
Genie: I hear and obey the master of the lamp!
Angelica: Oh god. We owe you reparations, don't we.
The Grim Reaper: I THOUGHT Y'ALL HAD ENOUGH BROOKES ALREADY, BUT WHATEVER.
Nathaniel: This one has fluffy hair.
Angelica: I want to be rich.
Genie: You're already rich enough to be eccentric, judging by that outfit.
Angelica: You should talk!
Still got that boner, huh.
Andrew: Cum's froz-
DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT
I should've seen that coming.
Nathaniel: Welcome to the Price-Murphy Nudist Colony!
Brooke: Ew. Why.
Brooke: You're not naked.
Stewart: Women prefer me this way.
Angelica: You don't know how to use EFT?
Margaret: Dammit! I already magicked those walls up once!
Angelica: Shut up, ALIEN.
Bethany: I've decided to spend the rest of my life doing nothing useful.
Dirk: I've decided my name is Dirk.
Nathaniel: Get that out of my face unless you want me to do something with it.
Amin: She's presenting, dude.
Nathaniel: She's not a bigfoot, dude.
Mallory: No, he was right.
Mallory: There's a non-freckled model?!
Angelica: ...shtup... alyen...
Andrew: I've had just about enough Cecilia-related mayhem in my life.
Well I've got bad news for you, then.
Franklin: ♪ Well I would not feel so all alone... ♪
Franklin: ♪ EEEEEEV'RYBODY MUST - GET - STONED ♪
Brooke: With REAL STONES.
Andrew: Thought you were about to do another music video.
With BOB DYLAN?
Emerson: Do you think we should fill that hole in?
Nathaniel: I am thinking about filling Mallory's hole.
Emerson: ...I meant the hole we were living in.
Nathaniel: I would like to live in Mallory's holes.
Genie: I'm not sure how to answer that.
Margaret: k well you're welcome guys
Emerson: I'm sure we'll all be super thankful once the shell shock wears off.
Amin: I hate you nudity bandwagon-jumpers. I was nude BEFORE it was cool.
Bethany: Why does he live here, again?
Angelica: We let all kinds of weirdoes live here.
Victor: Oh, yes, a RUG. How CHARMING.
Victor: I'll just leave this here.
Angelica: Yes, I realize I haven't been returning your calls, but have I got one HELL of a good excuse for YOU!
Dirk: Why'd you put your underwear on?
Angelica: So someone else can take it off.
Nick: You can do it for me. My hands are lazy.
Angelica: Ignore the naked children.
Nick: That's always been my policy!
Angelica: Do not ignore the nearly-naked teenager.
Nick: That has also always been my policy.
Angelica: So yeah, I've been sleeping in a hole in the foundation.
Nick: You hippie chicks are weird.
Angelica: Penny went nuts and trapped us all in the basement and also probably wasn't Penny.
Nick: Hahaha! That's just like not-Penny to do that.
Angelica: DETRAUMATIZE ME
Angelica: That's it! Hook on, and pull down.
Nick: What a time to be alive.
Franklin: OH COME ON
Nick: Hi, whoever you are!
Franklin: Have fun fucking my niece, whoever you are.
Nick: Maybe I will!
Nick: No, definitely.
Nick: This is much better than fucking my relatives!
Angelica: It sure is!
Nick: You've fucked my relatives?
Nick: Ohhhh, wow. You too?
Angelica: Nude life fo' eva, Amin!
Amin: ♪ This nudity shit is MINE! MOTHERFUCKERS! ♪
Nick: ♪ Nick gon' give it to ya ♪
Nick: Whoops! I did.
Angelica: I gave as good as I got.
Nick: Got any sisters?
Nick: Nope, just kids. Lots of kids, everywhere. Second erection thoroughly defeated.
Angelica: We could make out?
Nick: I already made out alright.
Angelica: Okay! Got out of the hole, fucked Nick... that's my life plan already dealt with.
Angelica: Are we sure this one's Dirk?
I am incapable of holding that information in my mind.
THIS ONE'S DIRK
Andrew: I'm glad you feel comfortable exposing your many faults to the world like this.
Says the man standing in front of a photo of him kissing the woman who locked him in a refrigerator.
Andrew: TOO SOON, DUDE
Next time: mo' magic, mo' problems.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 9 September 2012, a day which may never end.