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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 440


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates every damn day!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which there is wood in the woods.



Victor: I'll be the one with the wood.
Cameron: You would.



Victor: THOSE ARE SPELLED DIFFERENTLY



Victor: So hey, you know what's cool? I was in Sharpesvale in one of these chapters, even though I'd already been established as not having left here yet!
Cameron: Entire plotlines rise and fall thanks to that kind of oversight.



Victor: I like that you're so old, you remember when there were plotlines.



Cameron: There's still plotlines! They're just more subtle now.
Victor: You mean fuzzy.
Cameron: I was being subtle!



Cameron: I need some subtlety in my life right now.



Victor: Fun fact: the entire SimNation is just one big water pipe.



Cameron: It's not as fun a fact as you'd think.



Cameron: I also need some fun in my life.



Cameron: And now I'm thinking about that.



Cameron: Alright, I'm gonna take a shower right after I mop... the... dirt...



Victor: Yeah, this house is weird.



Victor: And wet.



Victor: And tedious.



Cameron: I finished a whole shower without getting fucked! Porn is a lie!



Victor: There's another shower on the horizon, we'll see how it goes.



Cameron: I've never been this close to the horizon before!



Cameron: Good lord that thing is huge.



Cameron: Time to send the big man spelunking!



Cameron: My cave is dark, but we'll see how deep it is.



Victor: Deep and damp!



Cameron: Damp is such a sexy word.



Victor: I briefly considered dank.



Victor: So, as a Hand of Poseidon, do you have a water fetish?



Victor: ...or is reminding you of your responsibilities a Turn-Off?



Victor: It's the second thing, isn't it.



What a lovely prison cell you've built for yourself.



Victor: Do they have MASSAGES in prison?
Cameron: Only involuntary ones.



Victor: Do they have MAKEOUTS in prison?
Cameron: Nope, only breakouts.



Victor: Hey baby, you ready to go again?
Cameron: What, today?



Cameron: ...I think I just became old.



Victor: That would explain the spontaneous newspaper-generation.



Cameron: But what explains you watching me shit?



Victor: The absence of television.



Cameron: We have windowvision...



Cameron: But it's frankly quite unsettling out there.



Cameron: This is a garbage location.



Cameron: With garbage food.
Victor: Hey, you're welcome.



...



Cameron: You need to go home.



Cameron: Are these somehow Chinese food sandwiches?



And then he ate her.



Cameron: And all her problems too!



Cameron: Eaten people don't have chores.



Cameron: Okay, this turned out to be one of those boycuts that doesn't make you hot, it just makes you look like a boy.



Cameron: Better.



I think you've got a rash.



Cameron: It's probably just dirt.



Cameron: My life is just dirt.



Cameron: And rocks.



Victor: Did you say your life rocks? That's it! Have a positive outlook.



Cameron: If you're not gonna help, you get to sleep in the hole.



Victor: I am amenable to filling a hole for you.



Cameron: Hit my uterus so hard it wanders!



Cameron: KNOCK SOME BALLS INTO ME



Cameron: ...do a sex thing.



Cameron: ...the fireworks aren't coming, are they.



Victor: No, but I am.



Victor: I can't wait to tell all my friends about the old lady I had unsatisfying sex with.



Cameron: Hopefully some of them can do better.



Victor: Can I stay the night?
Cameron: Only because your body is the only source of heat in here.



Victor: That's fair.



She's actually kinda cute.

It surprises me every time.



Victor: I'd like to think I can do better than "actually kinda."



Victor: We tried, baby.
Cameron: Not really.
Victor: No, not really.



Cameron: I won't miss the motion of the ocean, but I will miss the size of the ship.



Victor: I won't miss any of this.



Cameron: k well fuck off then



Cameron: Ya little jerk.



Victor: Not so little.
Cameron: No, not so.



Cameron: Look me up when you get better at bangin'.
Victor: Not a chance.



How long will that tan last?

Cameron: It's not a tan. It's from ocean pollution.



Cameron: It's basically skin cancer.



Cameron: My life is a mess.



Cameron: I'm a sex-starved fugitive.



Cameron: I get to eat the rest of those sandwiches!



Cameron: I enjoyed an excellent sausage recently.



Cameron: I'm so lonely.

Next time: she's not alone.

In feeling lonely.

Otherwise she totally is, yeah.

Cameron: Thanks, man.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 16 December 2012.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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