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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 442


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates every damn day!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which questionable things are ably questioned.



Michael: Hey Sharpe.
Vanessa: Hey Whittaker.



Lookin' Sharpe.

Vanessa: Lookin' Bennett, technically.





Veronica: What's with the random food?
Vanessa: Randon acts of butlerness.



Veronica: We're eating together! Like a family!
Vanessa: Yep. "Like" one.



Michael: I take it we're not actually a family because I'm crazy now, and that apparently disenfranchises me in my own home?



Veronica: Do you still get to be mayor if you're crazy?
Anthony: Look what I caught in the porcelain pond!



Alec Prince the Damned: Gotta keep that damnation quotient up.



Alvin Woodrow: You think your bodyguards will protect you?!



I see everyone's ringing in the new year with as much maturity as they can muster.



Vanessa: My husband's insane and my sister's insane, why can't I be a little kooky?



Vanessa: Anyway I think I'm seeing things.



Veronica: That balloon better not be about me.



Veronica: The SCIA figure out what's wrong with you yet?
Michael: They've narrowed it down to ENTROPY being awful or me being awful.



Michael: At least I'll be awful and rich.



Veronica: I know they'll find a cure for you, dad.
Michael: Please don't touch me.



Michael: Like, please please don't.



Veronica: Ohhh. Riiight.



Veronica: Hey man, congrats on being a sexy beast!
Michael: ...ARE THEY FUCKING WITH YOU, TOO?



Veronica: Yay! We can go nuts together.



Veronica: Good news, mom! Whatever the bad people are doing, it's completely deleted my family ties with dad!
Vanessa: That's not good news. You won't get any inheritance when I kill him, now!



Veronica: Do you want to know how many bolts of chemistry I have with him?
Vanessa: Never ever ever.
Michael: Seconded!



Vanessa: This isn't really ENTROPY, right? It's just a glitch in the neighbourhood.

Maybe ENTROPY is glitching the neighbourhood?

Veronica: Maybe don't say terrifying, the most terrifying, things?



Vanessa: I still haven't ruled out Michael being a whackjob.



Veronica: We're whacking on the same job now, though.



Michael: Never say anything like that ever again.



Michael: AND STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME



Michael: FIX THIS!

I'd have to quit the game.

Michael: BULLSHIT



Michael: k I'm moving to Antarctica, bye.



Veronica: Watch out for ants!



Michael: Oh god, oh god, why am I here again.

High chemistry Sims always try to be near each other.

Michael: FIX THIS



Veronica: You need a hobby, dude. Something to take your mind off things.
Michael: I'm thinking of taking up furious masturbation.



Veronica: You could do more of that boring finance stuff.
Michael: Honestly even I'm getting bored with that.



Michael: SPORTS! Rich and weak edition.



Michael: Only the rich can afford hacky sacks, they stopped making them when the nineties mercifully ended.



Michael: I think I might be able to scratch my wrongness itch by cheating on Vanessa.
Veronica: Suicide by mom, huh? Bold move.



Veronica: Aw not THIS shit again.



Veronica: Grats on bein' such a smokeshow, by the by!



Veronica: Isn't he just dreamy?
Vanessa: God, I wish this was just a dream.



Vanessa: Alright kid, time to grow up. We need to at least tie the number of crazies in the house.



Veronica: What if he turns out to be crazy?
Vanessa: I'll lock him in the dishwasher.



Michael: Woo! Child abuse!
Veronica: Also abuse of the mentally ill! Woo!



Vanessa: Woo.



Vanessa: WE'LL LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW WELL YOUR BRAIN WORKS



Vanessa: BUT WE WOULD PREFER SANITY, GIVEN THE CHOICE



I don't know if aging into an outfit that looks like a pictorial representation of insanity is a good sign.



Michael: Stopppppp.



Veronica: Happy birthday, Brett! Please don't judge us.
Michael: No matter how hard I am. IT IS.



Veronica: Go take a shower.



Veronica: A cold one.



Michael: Goddamn Vanessa. Her freaking sister's fucking with our brains, and she's all like "Maybe it's actually your fault?"
Veronica: Yeah, why doesn't she believe your wacky conspiracy theory? What a bitch.



Michael: Wait, you don't believe me either?
Veronica: Maybe mental illness isn't exclusively supervillain-caused?



Michael: WHY WOULD I BE MAD AT UMA



Michael: Okay, focus on something else. Anything else! Uh... I like this star. I like how pointy it is. I'd like to STICK A SWORD UP SOMEONE'S ASS oh wow, where did that come from.



Michael: Is it Opposite Day, or something?



Michael: Or is it just Hug Anyone Who Doesn't Want Hugs Day?



Veronica: We should get some fresh air.
Michael: All your windows are open already.
Veronica: We should go out in public where the scrutiny of our neighbours will dissuade us from immoral activities.
Michael: Now you're talkin'!



Michael: We're gonna get the Neighbourhood Watch on an anti-incest kick.
Vanessa: That might piss Cecilia off more.



Brett: Please don't go crazy like everybody else.



Michael: Okay, let's mock this weirdo.
Veronica: You SUCK, weirdo!
Michael: I said mock, not... suck at mocking.



Veronica: Wow, being outside does take the edge off from wanting to fuck my da-
Michael: HEY THERE HOW YA DOIN'



Michael: Is she still there? She's still there, isn't she.



Please don't let that be from Michael.



Michael: How would it have been from me? We didn't go on a date.

Nothing seems too nonsensical or terrible at this point.



Michael: Hey, you know what's funny? Being outside at NIGHT is NOT HELPING AT ALL.



Michael: We're not doing this.

You fucking AREN'T.

Veronica: Definitely not.

Not in MY story.



No.

Michael: Just one-

NO. This wasn't "the Maker doth protest too much." HANDS OFF.



Veronica: Scrumptious.

Okay, maybe I will quit the game.



Michael: Wanna hear something about nobody?



Michael: You're pretty hot, you know, UHHH PERSON I'M NOT RELATED TO



There's been a lot of vacation walkbys today.

Vanessa: Don't want to hear about it.

A lot of vacation characters are with ENTROPY.

Vanessa: Don't want to hear about it!

They might be what's fucking up everyone's brains-

Vanessa: YOU LEFT THE ROOF DOWN

DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT



Alright, new solution.



Yeah, that's right, run. I'll tranq your gross ass too!



Veronica: I feel a lot better now, actually!

You're just saying that so I don't knock you out again.

Veronica: I mean, partially.



Michael: PLEASE HELP



Veronica: Move your butler.



Veronica: Who'd you call?
Michael: Many people around here are smarter than me, but there's only one I'll admit to out loud.



Michael: And if she can't figure it out, well, at least I've got three bolts of chemistry with her.
Veronica: We've got three-
Michael: Shut up SHUT UP



Oh, maybe this is what he was mad at Uma for, retroactively.



Vanessa: I'm gonna eat a slice of cake every time you do that.



Vanessa: And break off a piece of your dick.



Michael: I'd like to break off a piece of my dick in her!
Abigail: Did you give him my number?



Abigail: Alright, other Alvin, what do you want.



Michael: Do you think I'm sexy?
Abigail: No, but my hormones do!



Michael: My daughter agrees with your hormones.



Michael: I think ENTROPY is brainwashing us to behave like gross weirdos.



Michael: Some of the grossness, everybody's already noticed. The rest of it, I think, might get someone killed eventually?



Michael: I'm off my gourd, all my Wants are fucked up, and I have a chemistry score with my own daughter.



Michael: And I want to stab someone.



Michael: At this point anyone would do.



Abigail: And this is the story we lead off the new year with?



Abigail: Okay, have you received any strange objects in the mail recently?
Michael: Yes!
Abigail: Like what?
Michael: I forget.



Michael: What? I can't hear you.



Michael: Yay for bad running jokes.



Michael: If you can't fix me, will you at least fuck me?



Michael: Right now? In the bushes?



Michael: The bushes of lo-

NO.



I'm not wasting that song on this.



Vanessa: It would certainly be a waste.



Abigail: You know, the machine I used to turn Bradley into Bradleigh can alter brain chemistry.
Michael: What about Nightlife chemistry?



Abigail: You're awfully touchy today.
Michael: I'm trying to counteract all the weird daughter-hugs I got.



Veronica: They were weird for me, too.



Abigail: I'll see what I can figure out.
Michael: Have you ever seen something you couldn't?



Abigail: ...people.



Abigail: But hey, no big loss, right?



Michael: Yeah, who needs 'em.

Next time: night time!

Despite what you may have heard, it is not always the right time.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 17 December 2012.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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