Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates every damn day!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
In which the last cut is the deepest.
♪ The circus is coming to see you ♪
Vanessa: I don't want them to.
♪ The elephant smiles ♪
Fu Fu's Whateverthefuck Lion: I'M NOT A FUCKING ELEPHANT
♪ Everybody can hear you say that's out of style ♪
Chase: ALL OF IT
Vanessa: Man, I don't even get a good song.
William: FOCUS ON MY SORROW
William: ♪ My brother is friendly for reasons, if I am the same ♪
Andrew: No more reasons.
♪ Just for four hundred seasons, we all live in rain ♪
The Grim Reaper: ONLY THAT LONG? NEWBS.
Cynthia: I'd better get a crowd twice as big for my death party.
Breanna: How are you fixed for last meals?
William: I'll fill you up, baby.
Cynthia: One way or another!
Cynthia: Hahaha, from who.
Asia: I'm in Asia!
Andrew: Oh, good! I didn't teleport into a wall.
Breanna: My foot skateboard slipped!
Gretchen: So hey, like the outfit? Or is it too much? It's too much, right? It's too much.
Gretchen: It was either this or pretend to be Asian.
The Grim Reaper: SPARE THE BEAM JUICE, WE'VE GOT LOTS MORE TARGETS TODAY.
The Grim Reaper: THEY'RE ALL CATCHING LEAD FEVER.
William: Won't be the first thing someone's caught from me.
Gretchen: YOUR PRINCESS IS IN THIS CASTLE
Andrew: ♪ I LAUGH IN YOUR FACE ♪
Andrew: ♪ YOU'RE ONLY ONE RACE ♪
Gretchen: He knows our secret!
Andrew: ♪ YES I LAUGH IN YOUR FACE ♪
Andrew: ♪ AND I'M RIIIIIIIGHT ♪
♪ You'll lie just like the rest ♪
Gretchen: Aw, I dressed all fancy though…
♪ But there's nobody best ♪
William: Disrespectfully disagree.
Chase: IS HE LAUGHING IN MY FACE
Andrew: Ew, she's got frost on her-
Cynthia: I've got fire in my nope-nope.
Andrew: Got dammit, Vanessa.
Cynthia: Did you get them all?
William: What, do you expect me to kill the entire village?
Cynthia: I mean… yes?
Andrea Barthelet: Did I pick a bad time to go on vacation?
No matter which year it is.
Cynthia: Come on, baby. Shoot up the neighbourhood. It's my birthday!
William: I'm more of a card person.
William: See you on the flip side.
Andrea: IS THAT WHAT THAT MEANS
Armando Custer: Hey! There's secret compartments in these!
Marisa Shahan: Yeah, that was supposed to be their next clue.
Marisa: Before they got angry and skipped the clue queue.
William: Aw MAN! Did you shoot a sexy supervillain WITHOUT ME?!
William: So they were up here the entire time, huh.
Andrew: They're frozen solid, so yeah, they probably haven't been moving around much.
Andrew: What? The remote is tied to the chair with a proximity trigger.
So you're not just old and lazy.
Andrew: No, not just.
Andrew: Wake up and smell the cherry blossoms, Pen-Pen.
William: What's taking so long?
Andrew: I remember the defrosting puzzle from Space Quest V. I don't want to accidentally cook anybody.
Penny: The first thing I hear when I wake up is you going on about your nerd shit?
Andrew: Yay, she's back.
Penny: This… isn't a great look.
William: And yet, I got a great look at it!
Cynthia: Aw, fuck.
Cynthia: You can't go anywhere without catching that virus these days.
That's the real take-away here.
Penny: I thought I was the real take-away.
William: I wonder how they caught Jizzy?
That sounds like a double-
William: Entendre, yes, it was meant to.
Penny: Lend me your jacket?
Andrew: It wouldn't help. My body temperature's been well below normal since my refrigerator stint.
Jizelle: Oh, who died?
William: Most of them.
Penny: HOW DOES FEET
Andrew: I hear that.
Jizelle: Mon saviour! Saviour is French, right?
William: Oui oui!
Penny: Yes, I also need to go wee-wee.
Penny: I think it was frozen inside of me?
Jizelle: Ou! Ou! Zo colt.
The Grim Reaper: UGH, CAN I LEAVE? I CAN'T STAND THIS CHICK.
Andrew: I can stand this one.
William: I'm not hugging you.
Penny: Where are we?
Penny: Speak English.
Penny: Wait, you came all the way to SimJapan to save me?!
Andrew: But we stayed for the good food and… company.
Andrew: I’ll go get you some clothes.
William: Okay, so… do I stick this up your…?
Jizelle: Are you going to warm her up, too?
William: If she'll warm up to me, maybe.
Penny: I'm amenable to having things stuck into me to warm me up.
Penny: If you know what I obviously mean.
Jizelle is sad that everybody's buying up all the toilet paper.
Stop making Jizelle sad, everybody.
Andrew: This isn't for me to wear.
Andrea: Of course not. It's money.
Marisa: Bury them deep, please.
William: Maybe stop crying?
Jizelle: THEY'RE FROZEN
Jizelle: THEY'RE FROZEN IN MY DUCTS AND IT'S EXCRUCIATING
William: Solidarity forever!
Penny: So solid.
Andrew: This should've been the title pic.
William: He's not wrong!
Andrew: We'll need to teach them how to teleport, to get out of here.
William: Alternatively we could dance naked with them.
Andrew: We don't need to do that here, though.
Andrew: Alright, I got you some sexy clothes.
Penny: Why sexy clothes?
Andrew: Because I'm a dude.
William: Alright, which one of you ladies is first at bat?
William: And balls?
Andrew: There we go! Now you just look like an alien.
Penny for your thoughts.
Jizelle: Hit that caption out of the park, didn't he?
Andrew: How'd you end up over there?
Penny: I think my internal compass is still frozen.
William: Let me take your vagina temperature with my flesh thermometer.
Good call. He needs to be punished for that one.
Jizelle: BOO! CLIMATE CHANGE IZ A MIT!
Penny: Good news! I shit out all my ice.
Quote of the Day competition's off the hook today.
William: So are you named Asia or Brooke?
Asia/Brooke: It depends on the joke!
Andrew: Looking healthier, Pen!
Penny: Yeah, I only feel ninety percent dead now.
William: They've got mirrors downstairs, baldy.
Penny: Thanks, man.
William: I was talking to baldy.
Andrew: Thanks, man.
William: Any time, Chud.
William: And that's how I singlehandedly cleaned out the vacation townie pool!
Jizelle: Ou blah blah!
Penny: …that's it?
You're going from BALD to NOT BALD. What do you expect, Lady Godiva hair?
Penny: Considering I was just FUCKING NAKED, yes!
Jizelle: Should I keep up the French accent for him, or not?
That depends. How much do you want to get shot to death?
Jizelle: Where'd you get these… clothes?
William: I borrowed them from a friend who got too old and gross for them.
Andrew: Feel a little less abnormal, now?
Penny: I feel abnormally grateful.
Andrew: Motherfuckers stuff my girl in the fridge, they'd better watch out.
Andrew: …good lord, let me at that mirror.
William: So how DID they recapture you?
Jizelle: Surface-to-air freeze gun.
Andrew: You're weird when you're affectionate.
Penny: Imagine how it feels for me.
Andrew: I DIDN'T CHEAT ON YOU
Andrew: IF YOU WERE WONDERING
William: So yeah, that's how much he cheated on her.
Jizelle: So much!
Andrew: Welp, we've got lots of photographic evidence for why I need this beard, now.
Andrew: I've missed not seeing most of my face.
Andrew: …was that…?
Andrew: In a…?
Andrew: YOU FUCKIN' MISSED SOME, GERD!
Andrew: Ooh! And me with my ray guns, still.
William: How'd you end up over there?
Jizelle: I am very stupid.
William: I've always suspected.
Penny's having her moments right now, too.
Andrew: Please don't pick a sword fight, the chapter's almost over.
Yeah, let's focus on the fucked-up walls and ceiling instead.
Andrew: And the bad cropping.
Penny: They're all staring at us.
Andrew: Yeah, they're waiting to cut in.
Penny: Sounds like someone's got a fan!
Andrew: They sell them to the tourists.
Jizelle: Hmm. Hilarious or sexy?
William: Back it up! Protagonists take priority.
William: So long, Gerd.
William: But! We'll always have Chud.
William: All's well that ends!
Andrew: And nothing does.
Penny: That's depressing.
William: Everthing is!
Jizelle: Soooo… do we fight our way out, now, or…?
William: Geez. I sure hope so.
Next time: hope swords eternal.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 22 December 2012 to 23 December 2012.