gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 466


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates every damn day!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which I had ninety-nice pictures, but I took out one.



Wander: I guess that's what passes for restraint around here.



Bradleigh: Andy! You decided to become your true self, too?



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Oh, lord. Look what the clone dragged out.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Other than these chapters.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Yeah, even I'm all fucked out at this point.



Wander: That's good, 'cuz if there's gonna be any fucking, I want in on it.



Tucker: I think I'll be the one!
Wander: The one what?
Tucker: Fucking! In.
Wander: In what?
Nathaniel: Please let it end.



Tucker: Can we do it in the spaceship-looking one? I'm getting spacehomesick.



Andrew: Please tell me you're not gonna fuck in mom's car.
Wander: I think you know me too well for that.



Andrew: Yeah, I guess I should go with my instincts where you're concerned, huh.



Andrew: I just wish you were as concerned as I am.

Personally I'm super concerned by how the fogged window effect never works properly on custom cars.



Wander: It's okay, just remember to crop it out of the pic.

Too late.

Wander: I mean, it's never too-

TOO LATE



Wander: It's been a day for rush decisions.



Wander: THINK FAST



Tucker: I don't know if I can.
Wander: Marry me?
Tucker: Think fast.



Wander: *dumps the ring into the snow*



Tucker: Wow! A real Anastakian diamond, from the Anastakian diamond minds of Anastak-I!
Wander: I got it at the store.
Tucker: I didn't know the Anastakians had reopened their store! It's been closed since the Anastakian diamond-wars of-



Wander: STOP SAYING THAT NAME



Tucker: I probably just made it up anyway.



…segue.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: It's not a Segway, it's a hybrid.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: …I honestly didn't know that thing had a sunroof.



Tucker: MORE LIKE FUNROOF



Wander: MORE LIKE NO SUN AND I'M FREEZING TO DEATH HERE ROOF



Wander: IT'S FUCKIN' COLD
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Nice.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Remind me to get that girl a visible vagina.



Wander: I dunno, it's not like the real thing is a great look…



Wander: That's how you know the genitals go together. They obscure each other.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I honestly don't know how I got that much snow on my boots.



Bradleigh: Your ass is clipping.
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: See, this is why nudity is better.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: It does look more enjoyable!



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: You looking for a chief engineer?



Wait.

Did I get rid of the…

Past Grugly: Yeah, that pirate hat was stupid.

YOU'RE STUPID



Tucker: Different versions of the Maker are fighting.
Wander: I hope I never fight with my different version.







…I still say bring back the hat.



HOLY SHIT

Past Grugly: Love you, man.

LOVE YOU TOO



Tucker: God is reconciled with himself.
Wander: They say God is in the details.
Tucker: They must have meant my details. Look up!



Wander: You look delightful.
Tucker: Hey! Don't pinch the bladder bag!



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: *censored*



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: *CENSORED*



Tucker: Kinky.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I'm gonna need you not to leave the house. I need to monitor the stability of my Andrews.
Tucker: Andrews who?
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: The correct phrasing would be "who Andrews?" if you weren't already misunderstanding me completely.



Tucker: I dunno, I think we understand each other.
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Only hormonally.



Tucker: Well, sorry lady, but the… lady, and I, are on the way to inner space.
Wander: You mean outer space.
Tucker: No, I don't have enough fuel for that.



Wander: All space is outer space.
Tucker: Clearly I need a science officer.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: How 'bout a hospitality officer?



Wander: There's no such thing as a hospitality officer.
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: There is on Picard.
Wander: Picard isn't a show, he's a character.
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: WE NEED TO SYNC TIMELINES



Tucker: I'd sync her timelines.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: What would that even.



Tucker: You wanna fuck under naked photos of your parents?
Wander: Wouldn't be the grossest thing that's happened here, on that very theme, very recently.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Havin' a little midnight snack.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Aw, man! It's a psychic lobster, and he's wreaking psychokinetic revenge!



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I knew it tasted better than non-revenge lobster.



Tucker: Why doesn't anything make sense anymore?
Wander: Daily updates.
Tucker: What?



Daily updates and I haven't left the house in two weeks.



Neil: That sounds like a better idea than stealing newspapers in the snow.

Even if I had left the house, it wouldn't have been for that.



I just stuck my finger in my ear, and hit the arrow key for the next pic, and this is what I got.

Neil: You need to go wash your hands. Real earwax is gross.

Yeah, you really don't need to tell me when to wash my hands.



Neil: I guess that would be like telling me when to fuck up someone else's life!



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: You hear to fuck up my life?
Neil: I think I already did?



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I can think of other things for you to fuck, if you'd like.



!



!!!



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: What just happened.
Neil: I dunno, fanservice?



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I sincerely doubt any fans were asking for that.

I'd normally make a joke about not having any readers at this point, but my statistics say otherwise.

They're almost all mute, though, is the thing.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: There's one who comments on every chapter!

Yes, and I treasure them.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: The rest are probably masturbating.

Yeah.



They probably are.



Andrew: To what, I don't know.



Leonard: Okay, we're NOT JOKING when we say you need to do some time-passing pics.
Andrew: I haven't had a good night's sleep in my ENTIRE LIFE.



Matching bathrobes!

Tucker: Actually, we're wearing the traditional dress of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy planet.

That's… not one planet.

Tucker: It is in real life.

This… isn't real life.

Tucker: WHAT



Tucker: I don't like your creator.
Wander: He created you too.
Tucker: WHAT



Leonard: WHAAAAT



Andrew: Well! You've been b… IS THAT DAD



Wander: It's a hard life.



Tucker: Penis joke.
Andrew: Don't touch me.



Tucker: Oh, hey! You got my transporter working?



Tucker: Now we can reconsitute my dead crew from the pattern buffer!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I just magicked myself here.
Tucker: I never liked my dead crew anyway.



Tucker: They were turned into little piles of dust by a radiation leak.
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: That sounds… familiar.
Tucker: Oh, well, in that case, they flew into a black hole, went crazy, and-
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Also familiar.
Tucker: Planet-eating funnel monster?
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Star Trek.
Tucker: Xenomorph?
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Alien. That's even what it's CALLED! In supplementary material.



Tucker: Okay, most of what I say isn't true.
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Weird! You look so trustworthy.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Anyway, bye.



Tucker: You've been a good sport. Let me beam a date down for you.



WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM

Andrew: …roof… attic… second floor… uh-huh…



Andrew: I think you might need to recalibrate your transporter.



Andrew: And also this dude is definitely dead.



The Grim Reaper: GOOD CALL.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: NOT LONG-TIME TERTIARY CHARACER JESSIE PESTHERERIARARNNEWREFDFU!



Andrew: I'm surprised you were able to say it correctly.



Tucker: I WANTED TO IMPRESS YOU
Wander: It was kind of impressive.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Please leave before you get anyone else, namely you, definitely you, killed.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: You too. This storyline's over.
Andrew: I thought you were monitoring me.
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: If you explode or something, I'll just pay Grimmy to bring you back.
The Grim Reaper: THAT REMINDS ME. YOU'VE GOT NINE STAMPS ON YOUR LOYALTY CARD.



Wander: I live here.
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: LIVE IN A DIFFERENT ROOM



Leonard: Are you sick of us, mom?
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Don't be silly. I haven't been involved in your life enough to get sick of you.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Thanks for reminding me.



Jessie: Bye, my corpse! I'll miss you.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: We should end every chapter with a death.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I don't think that would end well for Leonard.



Leonard: Nothing ever does.



Leonard: But hey, you know what they say: nothing never dies.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Who says that?

Murderers.

Next time: …murderers!

Not really, I just wanted to say that. It would've been cool if it was true, wouldn't it?

Okay, for realsies. Next time: ...holy shit, it really is murderers!

I should never have doubted myself.

Or the prevalence of murderers in the Vale.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 26 December 2012.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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