gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
gruglysims
gruglysims

  • Mood:
  • Music:

The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 467


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates every damn day!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which THERE ARE NO CROPPED PICS.

I had to work for it, too, which makes it all the sweeter!



Shiloh Newcastle the Mean Witch: I get it! You need to be the change you want to see in the world!



Boo Bradley: .oO(I don't want to be changed.)



Shiloh Newcastle the Mean Witch: Step side, Boo! I'm destroying Lance's stuff, and I won't let you sit in my way!



Shiloh Newcastle the Mean Witch: This is your final chance to turn out to be alive!



Boo Bradley: .oO(Get stuffed.)



Shiloh Newcastle the Mean Witch: I hope you bear me no ill will.



Shiloh Newcastle the Mean Witch: Bearwell.



Boo Bradley: .oO(Luckily I had the magic of perspective on my side!)



Boo Bradley: .oO(IT IS AN INCONSTANT ALLY)



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Apparently one teleport is a lot more not-mean than one fireball is mean.



Boo Bradley: It was a pretty weak fireball.



Alec Prince the Damned: Who's weak? Lemme at 'em!



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Sure do love having to do this again every few hours!



Hesitating?

Alec Prince the Damned: These chicks keep kicking my ass.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

Alec Prince the Damned: My ass?



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Your ass isn't gonna be fine, it's gonna be mine.



Alec Prince the Damned: My ass is gonna be your ass?



Alec Prince the Damned: That doesn't make any sense.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: HOW ARE YOU CLIMBING SO SLOWLY



Alec Prince the Damned: I think you owe me some gratitude. You'd never have become a witch, if it weren't for me!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Hang on, let me go get a cop and you can explain it to them.



Alec Prince the Damned: It would've been a crime NOT to transform you!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: And in a much more not bullshit sense, none of that is true.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You lying sack of bullshit.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You made me watch a man melt into a sidewalk. That's the kind of shit you can't explain to a psychiatrist!



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You kidnapped me and took me to a place called the Fortress of Very Dark and Bad.
Alec Prince the Damned: That's not quite-
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: IT GETS THE POINT ACROSS



Alec Prince the Damned: I taught you magic!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: YOU STOLE MY MEMORIES
Alec Prince the Damned: I gave you a cool outfit!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: YOU STOLE MY CLOTHES



Alec Prince the Damned: And I do not regret that.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Anyway I burned all your stuff.



Alec Prince the Damned: Burn all your stuff, you say?



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: All my stuff's in Deborah's house. You'd have to go see Deborah to burn it.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Unless you, like, burned Deborah, or something.



Alec Prince the Damned: I think I did, but she's so boring I kinda forgot.



Alec Prince the Damned: Yep, yep, says it right here.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: He's killing again?

Actually he's mind-controlling other people into killing.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Distinction without a difference.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Does everybody know what time it is?



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: DUEL TIME



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Little Tim Allen joke for the old folks out there.



Alec Prince the Damned: Tim Allen is a joke.



Alec Prince the Damned: Oh no, you cast a fine mist over me.



Alec Prince the Damned: Everything goes on floor now.



Alec Prince the Damned: Wait, what



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Asshole.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Glad I've been stockpiling materials.

Got enough to keep him at bay?

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Indefinitely? No. Until he gets fed up? Well, he's evil, and evil tends to get fed up pretty fast, so…



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Unfortunately, good is incompetent.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Everyone's going over to the evil side. Evil's like an infection. A sex infection. A non-sex infection? No, definitely sex. Everything around here is sex.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Why is everything around here sex?

Because the person playing your game is twenty-six.



I'm not saying he gets a lot better at thirty-four, mind you.

I just spent quite a lot of time drawing a naked woman covered in bubbles.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I don't know what to bubble about that.

This image is a good representation of the mind of a teenager.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Please tell me-

It wasn't a picture of you covered in bubbles, no.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I mean, this isn't much better.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Hi. Brooke? We talked on messenger. You know, generic computer messenger? The kind we don't have to pay to talk about?



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You can't really help me, but I need to talk to someone because I'm stuck in this house while the world goes to shit.

HAHAHA THAT FEEL



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: There's this FUCKING FUCKER trying to get all up in my grill.
Brooke: Can you kill him?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I'm gonna try!
Brooke: I hear it's not illegal to kill fucking fuckers, especially capitalized ones. Capital… crime…? There's a joke to be made there

Meh.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I also think I'm being used as fanservice.
Brooke: Which is funny, because most of the fans are probably women.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: So it's not so much funny as… pointless, then.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: If it's fanservice he's going for, where's the Doctor Who slashfic?



Brooke: He probably doesn't know enough about Doctor Who.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Is that even possible? You've heard the shit he talks about.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: He knows enough not to write it as "Dr. Who"! I'll bet he knows every fuckin' nerd thing out there!

I am very poorly-informed about anime.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: 's fuckin' cold in here.
Brooke: Put some clothes on?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: How can you tell I'm naked?
Brooke: Everybody basically always is.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Them's some harsh other person's home truths, sister.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Anything in here about protective wards? Preferably opaque ones?



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I'm super not looking forward to having to repel this dude's advances for, like, ever.

Yeah, being a woman always struck me as a raw deal.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Luckily, success breeds more success!



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I wonder.

What?

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: If I cook all his stuff, will he stop coming by?

It might make him come by more often. Angrier.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I wonder.

What?

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Can I cook him?



Boo Bradley: .oO(I doubt he's nutritious.)



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Apello Simae.



Alec Prince the Damned: Holy bait-and-switch, Batman!



Alec Prince the Damned: Just goes to show, it's hard to read a crazy mind.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Oh, you were reading my mind. I guess it's true what they say about paranoia.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Paranoia helps you burn people alive.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Just a sec, I forgot the word.
Alec Prince the Damned: Sure, I'll wait.



Alec Prince the Damned: So, this is, like, all my stuff.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I thought I'd gather the entire concept of you together in one place.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: And do this to it.



Alec Prince the Damned: I'll conspire with this wise bird while we wait.



Unfortunately I didn't care to look up the object's name, so their conspiracy was easily thwarted.



Alec Prince the Damned: Why can't I pick this up?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Because you don't have inventory, Buy Mode or Build Mode privileges.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Because this ISN'T YOUR HOUSE. INFLAMMO!



Alec Prince the Damned: I'll save you, Boo Bradley.
Boo Bradley: .oO(My prince!)



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Happy daylight burning!



Alec Prince the Damned: I'M SORRY BOO BRADLEY



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: He is sorry.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Think I got him?

No.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Yeah, me either.



Alec Prince the Damned: Had me fooled for a second.



Alec Prince the Damned: OR TWO



Alec Prince the Damned: ...waaaaait a second. How's that Harry Potter line go again?



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: "Are you a witch or not?"
Alec Prince the Damned: That's the one.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: It's not not, let me tell you.



Alec Prince the Damned: STOP NOT STOPPING



Alec Prince the Damned: I can't keep up with this!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: If you can't stand the heat, STAY OUT OF THE FUCKING FIRE



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: INFLAM-
Alec Prince the Damned: MATAíOSI



Alec Prince the Damned: What, didn't read the chapter on counterspells yet?



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: …I thought they were for counting stuff.



Alec Prince the Damned: Like exact minutes to failure?



Alec Prince the Damned: Mellifera Attackum. Assuming there's still bees left in the world somewhere.



Alec Prince the Damned: Float like a wizard, sting with a bee!



Alec Prince the Damned: Or, you know, more than one.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: NOT THE BEES



Alec Prince the Damned: Later, honey.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: THE HIVES ARE EMPTY AND ALL THE BEES ARE HERE



Boo Bradley: You'd think nostalgia would burn faster than this.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: …did I just fight the Prince of Darkness to a draw?

It sounds impressive, but most fictional fights with the devil actually end this way.



Only with less burning beds.



♪ The time has come ♪

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: ♪ For the musical interlude ♪



♪ To say bear's bear ♪



♪ To lose the deposit ♪



♪ To pay our share ♪

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Of fanservice.



♪ The time has come ♪

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: ♪ A bath's a bath ♪

♪ Get your wand and then ♪

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: ♪ Let's give 'em wrath

Next time: Blue Monday.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 26 December 2012 to 27 December 2012.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
Subscribe

Recent Posts from This Journal

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 3 comments