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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 490


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates every damn day!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which repetition is the soul of repetition.



Veronica: That's repetive.
Brett: Yeah! What she said! Repetitive.



Veronica: Did you hear what he said?
Brett: No, what?
Veronica: Something repetitive!
Brett: No! What?!



Veronica: Something repetitive.



Brett: Who are you calling?
Veronica: Whoever.



Veronica: You wanna come over?
Brett: Does who want to come over?
Veronica: He does, yes!



Veronica: Yes.



Veronica: This isn't sustainable.

No, but it killed half a dozen pics, so.



Patrick: I'd kill half a dozen dicks! For you.



Veronica: There's just the one you might have to.



Veronica: Kill, I mean.



Veronica: My dad killed someone.



Patrick: I SURRENDER TO HIS DICK



Veronica: So, Patrick. What turns you on?
Patrick: MUSCLES



Patrick: And MUSCLES



Patrick: And MUSCLES



Patrick: And MUSCLES
Brett: What's happening.



Patrick: And MUSCLES
Veronica: What's happening.



Patrick: And MUSCLES
Veronica: And MUSCLES

And MUSCLES



Brett: And MUSCLES



Uma: And MUSCLES



Patrick: And bathing suits.



Patrick: And muscles.



I don't care if you found it annoying, it was cracking me up hard.



Veronica: Less talk, more-
Patrick: MUSCLES



Patrick: Hey baby, let me flex my muscles on you.



Patrick: Unless you've got a condom.



Patrick: I don't want to flex my muscles in you if you haven't got a condom.
Veronica: GREAT



Patrick: That's not much of an answer.



Veronica: Maybe you should've phrased it as a question, then.



Patrick: Seduction is five-fourths confusion.



Patrick: Math jokes are only one fifth math!



Patrick: Muscles!

AND muscles!



Patrick: The snackfest of champions!



Patrick: Blue booze is my favourite booze.



Patrick: It makes me see two girlfriends!



Vincent: I can't sleep, knowing that sex rug's stuck out there, all alone.

Man, I thought Vanessa was gonna take care of that.



Veronica: Yeah, like how she's taking care of her kids?

No, but, the sex rug is important.



Vanessa: It's my favourite thing in the house!
Patrick: What about me?
Vanessa: It's my favourite thing in the house.



Patrick: …what about me?



Patrick: What about you… and me?!



Veronica: What about you just eat your fucking cereal.



Veronica: You dumb hunky bastard.



Patrick: She thinks I'm hunky.



Patrick: I hope you won't be jealous, but I'm fucking this table.



Veronica: I hope you won't be jealous, but I'm making fierce oral love to this cereal.



Patrick: I'm a little jealous.



Veronica: I'm a little rebellious.



Patrick: ♪ I'm a little teapot, short and OOMPH ♪



Patrick: ♪ Here is your handle ♪
Veronica: ♪ Please close your spout



Patrick: ♪ When I get all steamed up ♪
Veronica: ♪ Make me shout



Patrick: ♪ Tip me over, and suck me out



Veronica: When you put it so beautifully, how can I refuse?



Veronica: …if I touch it, will it dissipate the mirage?



Veronica: Oh no! You perspectived me into it!



Patrick: At least he didn't perspective it into you.



Veronica: Yrgh, drt vrd've brn wrckd cgrrl.
Patrick: What?
Veronica: Nrgvm.



Patrick: What?



Veronica: Hello, down there!
Patrick: He says hello.



Veronica: Kissing after oral sex.
Patrick: Not a fan!
Veronica: Not a fan.



Patrick: THAT's a fan, though.
Veronica: What?
Patrick: Your fan.



Patrick: Your fan's a fan.



Flick back and forth between these two pics to see a bed wiggle its eyebrows.



Veronica: Or don't.



Vanessa: You miss 100% of the bed-eyebrow-wiggles you don't flick back and forth between.



Vanessa: I cameo and that's what you've got for me to say?!



Brett: It looks like I just spat caramel onto my pants.

It does look like you just spat caramel onto your pants.



Patrick: That sounds like a euphemism.
Veronica: That does sound like a euphemism.



Amar: You sound like a euphemism.

Youphemism.



Patrick: You fem jism.
Veronica: No.



Patrick: But-
Veronica: No.




Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: But-

NO! You're not even the right character.



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: Butt!
Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Aw, I can't see it from here!



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: You'll forgive me if I have no repetition to offer.

What?

Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: I said, you'll forgive me if OH HO HO no!



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: For a second, a second, I thought I was asleep on the couch there.



What's cookin', dumb-lookin'?

Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Big ol' pot of fuck you.



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: Mmm! I love pot fuck!



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: HAHAHAHA POT FUCK



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: It's less funny when you repeat it.



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: COUGH



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: GASP



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: COUGH



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: GASP



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: COUGH



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: GASP



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Yep.



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: Why is this happening?
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Why is what happening?

Yeah, why is what happening?

Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: THIS THIS THIS!



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Alright sis, unset a spell.



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: This is my unsettlingest spell!



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: She will be unsettled, once I set it.



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Spell set.



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Do I want to be awake for this?

Very likely not.



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: We are POWERING through this update! It's taken, like, twenty minutes to write so far.
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: I wonder why.



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: Because we are POWERING through-
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: SHUT THE FUCK UP



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Seconded!



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: I wonder if that counts as repetition.
Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: I wonder if wondering about repetition counts as repetition.
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: WHAT YOU JUST SAID DEFINITELY DOES!



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Bawk!



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Bawk!



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Bawk!



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Bawk!
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Okay, st-
Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Bawk!
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Sto-
Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Bawk!
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: STOP -
Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: BAWK



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: BAWK
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Bawk!



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Bawk!



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Bawk!



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: I wish I knew one of those world-ending spells.
Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: My son's all grown up!



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: That tiny clone of Margaret's kinda weird.
Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: She's… not a tiny clone of Margaret.
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Really?
Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Yes.
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: 'cuz she looks like a tiny clone of Margaret.



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: She does look like a tiny clone of Margaret!



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: She's your mom! Don't call her "Margaret"!



Yvette: Y'all need some insanity today?

I think we're full up, honestly.



Yvette: Y'all need some insanity today?
Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Maybe? I don't know, I've been napping.



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: On the couch.
Yvette: Couch-napping.
Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Yeah, couch-napping.
Yvette: COUCH THIEF



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Are you okay?

Not really.

Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Because you're writing like you're not okay.

Not really.



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: This is the face that comes up when I think "not really" to myself.



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: KIERA WOLOSENKO-MURPHY THE HIDEOUSLY UNDERPAID PLUMBER MORE LIKE



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: 'cuz I'm not getting paid for this, and it is hideous.



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: I still think she's a tiny clone of Margaret.



Fiona: She's your mom! Don't call her "Margaret"!



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: I think someone cast a curse on this chapter.

*raises his hand*



WHANK



WHANK

Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Sorry, didn't know you were whanking in here.



WHANK

Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: If you're trying to kill yourself, might I suggest cutlery?



Felix: I know what I'll write about! THE LEAST INTERESTING THING EVER!



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: I AM SUMMONED



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: I AM SUMMONED
Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: What?



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: …what?



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: You're right! It is fun to have a bizarre, creepy bedtime ritual!



Synchronized Simming!



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: OH NO

OH NO

Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: YOU WASTED WHAT SHOULD'VE BEEN A CHAPTER TITLE ON A JOKE

OH NO

Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: AND ALSO THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE

OH NO



And also I did use that joke as the chapter title.

Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: OH NO



Felix: OH NO



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Who wants fire slop?



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Who wants regurgitated fire slop?



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Who wants the world's fattest sword?



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: I'll take a sword of any fatness, at the moment!



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Or, you know, quiet desperation.



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Quiet desperation is good too.
Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: I thought you said QUIET desperation.



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Good night.



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: Good night.



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: Good morning.
Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: It's not MORNING
Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: Good night.
Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: It's not GOOD



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: It's not good at ALL.



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: I SHOULD'VE REGURGITATED MY FIRE SLOP



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: So, are you proud of what you've done here today?

I'm not not proud of it.



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: I'm on the lawn!
Nick: I'm on the lawn as well!



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: I AM SUMMONED
Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Shit, we're supposed to do it both times?!



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Yeah, we're supposed to do it both times.



Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Do you feel like we've been repeating ourselves a lot, today?
Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Doing it both times, sort of thing, you mean?
Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Yeah, doing it both times, sort of thing.
Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: You mean.
Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: I mean.



Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: Wait, are the kids living in an upstairs with no STAIRS? UP?
Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: It's safer that way. Stairs are a serious source of toddler injuries!



Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: I'm not a toddler.
Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: I know.
Kiera Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: I'm a FUCKING ADULT.
Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Language! There are children present.
Felix: I'M OLDER THAN HER



Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: You ARE older than her!

Next time: next time.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 10 February 2013.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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