gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 493


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates every damn day!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which changes vary in scale and proportion.



Alvin: Too vague. How about "In which Alvin makes a new friend"?

Too improbable.



Brandi: How about "In which the height of subtle spycraft is achieved"?



Past Grugly: How about "In which the disappearing newspaper problem is solved with some creative use of camera angles"?



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: How about none of that.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: How about none of YOU!



Laci: I think I'd like that.



Alvin: What're you doing?
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Converting your trash compactor into a trash fabricator.



Alvin: We're been fabricating trash pretty effectively without one of those.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Alright, time for a firmware update.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Don't look! I'm in my software.



NEW OUTFIT!

Permanent new outfit.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I dunno, I can think of some improv-

You're still wearing it today.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Okay, but I think-

Nope.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: DON'T INTERRUPT MY THINKS!



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: My thinks are once and future world-savers, you know.



What's cookin'?

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Porridge.

Porridge.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Neutral!



Laci: I wonder what neutrality feels like.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Neutrality is just partiality masquerading as impartiality.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Speaking of things I'm partial to!



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch:partially.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch:Magus Mutatio?
Alvin: Couldn't've cast cultus mundatus instead?



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: It's hot and bothersome that you know the latin for "toilet clean."



Alvin: Yeah, Lucas left a lot of reading material lying around here.



Alvin: And firm instructions for the care and treatment of his baby.



Alvin: Glad he's dead.

Forever.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: My sandwich is lit wrong.



Alvin: My penis is hanging wrong.



There is nothing wrong with this.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Maybe I should make the toilet a wizard. From the way Lucas treated it, it must be sentient.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Magus Mutatio!
Alvin: Havin' a bathio.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Oh, don't get up! I don't wanna see your weird-hangin' dick.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Aw, that's not true.



Alvin: My dick is SPARKLING!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Careful, you don't wanna challenge William.



Alvin: OW OW OW MY DICK SPARKLES



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Oooooh. Those sparkles punctured my everything.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: I need my everything!



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Why, though? It's not like you've been doing anything with it, lately.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Ouch.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Okay, so… are the solutions in the back, or…?



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Has this been peer-reviewed?



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Hmm. One of these paths seems to offer a much higher return on investment.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Spies don't make nice warlocks.



Irvin: Get outta here, you flamingo-toucher!



Irvin: HOMEWORK SHED!



Elvis: Curse you, father, and your homework shed!



Irvin: Do not speak ill of homework shed! It listens.



Samantha: Whee.



Elvis: Who'm I named after?
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: A guy who died on a toilet. It's thematically-appropriate for this house.



Samantha: Whee.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: The Fountain of Youth! It's in the Forest of Laziness, just like I always knew it was!



You've been drinking that stuff for decades.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Yeah, but I just wanted to tell a story. So sue me.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: WHAT A WONDERFUL NIGHT TO HAVE A DRINK



Elvis: HAHAHA PRIVATES SCHOOL

You'd better write it down, you'll forget by the morning.



Irvin: That might be for the best.



Speaking of for the worst…

Laci: He said "for the best."

OH SO YOU'RE SPYING ON THEM NOW, HUH



Laci: Heheh. "Now."
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Hey hey! Welcome to the communal house.



Laci: Alvin Woodrow's Home for Homeless Storylines.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: My storyline has a home, it just needs… a vacation home as well.



Irvin: Quit screwin' around! We'll never make it through the Forest of Laziness if you can't fuckin' focus!



Irvin: ARE YOU TRYING TO PUSH ME INTO THE ROAD?!



Irvin: Okay, I just want you to know that all of dad's breakups are your fault.



Irvin: And he doesn't like you.
Elvis: Ooh, ooh! Say the one about how people are starving in Africa because of me, too! That's my favourite.



Irvin: I wish there was some kind of spray for you.



Elvis: I react negatively to most sprays, actually.



How was work?

Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Shitty. Couldn't seem to stay incognito today, for some reason.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Speaking of SOME REASON.
Laci: No, I'm here because I have no reasons.



Laci: Just thought I'd sit here, play cards, be cute.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: I hate all my cute wives.



Irvin: He's had a few of them!



Elvis: I pity the next one.



Irvin: Maybe the small business reviewer! Dad really likes him.
Elvis: No, stupid, you're thinking the guy who's virtually indistinguishable from dad.



Elvis: Because he has a ponytail.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: I don't even have the ponytail anymore. God, this story is mondo change-resistant.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Wanna make out? Because apparently changes don't matter.



Laci: SANE SITTING SPOT



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: The mighty triple-S!



Belinda the Malevolent: Hello, uselesses.
Irvin: Hello, worst daughter!



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: I don't ask for a lot out of life. I feel like maybe, maybe, if I only got backstabbed ninety percent of the time, I'd be cool with it.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: That's a tall order.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Lora Gast.
Laci: Who?



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: I'm losing sleep over this.
Laci: What?



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: LORA. GAST.
Laci: Okay?
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: WHY DO I KNOW THAT NAME



Laci: We're not all memorable, Alvin.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: No, you're not, that's true.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Well, I guess if you live long enough, you make one mistake.



Irvin: I can't close the window.
Elvis: Block it with your big stupid head, then.



Elvis: I think the breeze is turning me magical.



Irvin: Oooh, look at me, sittin' on a CHAIR, I'm a REBEL



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: ♪ And he's gonna be good! ♪

Next time: Murphy time!

This chapter depicts gameplay from 17 February 2013 to 18 February 2013.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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