gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 504





If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which indoors.



Vanessa: The reading component of secret agenthood was SEVERELY undersold to me in my training.



Chris: You got TRAINING?



Vanessa: I keep forgetting you're one of those cereal box top agents.



Chris: I keep forgetting you're a bitch.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: NEVER FORGET ABOUT BITCHES



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: And how AWESOME they are!
Chris: Slam-dunked that one, boss!



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: I'd like to slam-dunk y-
Chris: TAKE THE WIN AND GO



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Wanna poke?



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Is that a "yes" face, or…



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Man, I remember my days in the archives, before fieldwork, before cool hats.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: You ladies are doing great work, here.
Vanessa: We're spying on the Chief.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: You ladies are going to get us all killed.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Okay, new girl.
Vanessa: I've been an agent for longer than you've been an initialized character.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: OKAY NEW GIRL



Speaking of new girls.



Cheryl: Y'all motherfuckers got a cash register?



…how did…

Vanessa: Don't even know.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: See what you've done! Stick your nose where it doesn't belong, and BAM! ENTROPY starts spamming NPC spawns everywhere.



Vanessa: If they all spawn into the middle of desks, it'll be a short-lived offensive.



That's a good term for describing most of my characters.

Short lived; offensive.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Alright, I call hall monitor duty.



Chris: Alternatively, someone competent could do it.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: I guess I used too much grease?



Chris: On ALL the guns?!



Chris: …I hear footsteps upstairs.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: It's fine, that's only where we keep our EVERYTHING.



Brandi: Piss off, I'm in a meeting.
Chris: THAT'S NOT BRANDI'S VOICE

Not sure how you can tell, in text, but okay.



Brandi: What she meant was, it wasn't the Brandi's voice she was thinking of.



Brandi: THIS CONVERSATION IS BRANDIS ONLY



Brandi: Why aren't you taking care of the break-ins downstairs?!
Chris: Why do you know about the break-ins downstairs?!
Brandi: FUH FUH FUH I'M A QUESTION-ASKING LOSER



Chris: …fine, go back to talking to yourself.



Chris: But we're ON to you, missy.
Brandi: I see you've reached the empty threats phase of your campaign.



Brandi: Maybe don't fuck with me, Cory-fucker?



Brandi: 'cuz yeah, you fuck Cory.



Brandi: And he'll fuck you HARDER if I tell him to.



Brandi: I mean that in a negative sense.



Chris: I took it that way.
Brandi: Take it out of my BUILDING, along with the contents of your DESKS.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Anyone cool up there?
Chris: As a fuckin' cucumber.



Chris: But hey, good news! Your boss is probably evil.



Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Is that good news?
Chris: Why not? It gives us all an aura of sexy danger.



Chris: There was a second Brandi in the office upstairs.
Vanessa: Ugh, not more clones.



Vanessa: So, did she fire us?
Chris: Either that, or she demoted us to janitors.



Vanessa: I ain't cleanin' no desks.



Dust: *settles*



Sprite: *is all jaggy*



Camera: *lingers*



Brandi: *pitches an internal fit*



Brandi: I wish secret agents had a "stupid-not stupid" switch I could flip when I need to.



Brandi #1: I wish you and I had separate names.



Brandi #2: …I'm the one in the doorframe.

Thank you.



Brandi #2: I fuckin' TOLD you ENTROPY twats to STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE! Do you have ANY IDEA how many main characters are secret agents?!



Brandi #2: Now they know I'm evil!
Brandi #1: In what sense do they know this? All they know is you were meeting someone in your office, which is, I don't know if you know this, what offices are FOR.



Brandi #2: NOBODY IN FICTION WALKS IN ON MEETINGS WHICH AREN'T EVIL



Brandi #1: Well, alright then. Hopefully they kill you, and I get your secret pay AND my own name back.



Brandi #1: You haven't done a damn thing since we put you in charge here. You're SUPPOSED to be hamstringing the SCIA, not… RUBBING THEIR DAMN FEET



Brandi #2: I put the nosy ones on doc review! How is that "not doing a damn thing?"
Brandi #1: I meant evil things. We're evil secret agents! Wet work, not scut work.



Brandi #1: FIVE HUNDRED CHAPTERS AND OUR EVIL PLAN IS STILL UNINTELLIGIBLE!



Brandi #2: Maybe we should be advancing the plot, then, instead of yelling about how non-advanced it is?



Brandi #1: YOU CAN'T HURRY CHAOS



Brandi #2: I find fire helps with that, actually.

Next time: everybody hangs out in the dark where I can barely see them.

I'm blaming it on them.

Because they can't respond unless I let them.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 21 February 2013.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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