If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
In which indoors.
Vanessa: The reading component of secret agenthood was SEVERELY undersold to me in my training.
Chris: You got TRAINING?
Vanessa: I keep forgetting you're one of those cereal box top agents.
Chris: I keep forgetting you're a bitch.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: NEVER FORGET ABOUT BITCHES
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: And how AWESOME they are!
Chris: Slam-dunked that one, boss!
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: I'd like to slam-dunk y-
Chris: TAKE THE WIN AND GO
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Wanna poke?
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Is that a "yes" face, or…
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Man, I remember my days in the archives, before fieldwork, before cool hats.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: You ladies are doing great work, here.
Vanessa: We're spying on the Chief.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: You ladies are going to get us all killed.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Okay, new girl.
Vanessa: I've been an agent for longer than you've been an initialized character.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: OKAY NEW GIRL
Speaking of new girls.
Cheryl: Y'all motherfuckers got a cash register?
Vanessa: Don't even know.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: See what you've done! Stick your nose where it doesn't belong, and BAM! ENTROPY starts spamming NPC spawns everywhere.
Vanessa: If they all spawn into the middle of desks, it'll be a short-lived offensive.
That's a good term for describing most of my characters.
Short lived; offensive.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Alright, I call hall monitor duty.
Chris: Alternatively, someone competent could do it.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: I guess I used too much grease?
Chris: On ALL the guns?!
Chris: …I hear footsteps upstairs.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: It's fine, that's only where we keep our EVERYTHING.
Brandi: Piss off, I'm in a meeting.
Chris: THAT'S NOT BRANDI'S VOICE
Not sure how you can tell, in text, but okay.
Brandi: What she meant was, it wasn't the Brandi's voice she was thinking of.
Brandi: THIS CONVERSATION IS BRANDIS ONLY
Brandi: Why aren't you taking care of the break-ins downstairs?!
Chris: Why do you know about the break-ins downstairs?!
Brandi: FUH FUH FUH I'M A QUESTION-ASKING LOSER
Chris: …fine, go back to talking to yourself.
Chris: But we're ON to you, missy.
Brandi: I see you've reached the empty threats phase of your campaign.
Brandi: Maybe don't fuck with me, Cory-fucker?
Brandi: 'cuz yeah, you fuck Cory.
Brandi: And he'll fuck you HARDER if I tell him to.
Brandi: I mean that in a negative sense.
Chris: I took it that way.
Brandi: Take it out of my BUILDING, along with the contents of your DESKS.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Anyone cool up there?
Chris: As a fuckin' cucumber.
Chris: But hey, good news! Your boss is probably evil.
Alvin Woodrow the Warlock: Is that good news?
Chris: Why not? It gives us all an aura of sexy danger.
Chris: There was a second Brandi in the office upstairs.
Vanessa: Ugh, not more clones.
Vanessa: So, did she fire us?
Chris: Either that, or she demoted us to janitors.
Vanessa: I ain't cleanin' no desks.
Sprite: *is all jaggy*
Brandi: *pitches an internal fit*
Brandi: I wish secret agents had a "stupid-not stupid" switch I could flip when I need to.
Brandi #1: I wish you and I had separate names.
Brandi #2: …I'm the one in the doorframe.
Brandi #2: I fuckin' TOLD you ENTROPY twats to STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE! Do you have ANY IDEA how many main characters are secret agents?!
Brandi #2: Now they know I'm evil!
Brandi #1: In what sense do they know this? All they know is you were meeting someone in your office, which is, I don't know if you know this, what offices are FOR.
Brandi #2: NOBODY IN FICTION WALKS IN ON MEETINGS WHICH AREN'T EVIL
Brandi #1: Well, alright then. Hopefully they kill you, and I get your secret pay AND my own name back.
Brandi #1: You haven't done a damn thing since we put you in charge here. You're SUPPOSED to be hamstringing the SCIA, not… RUBBING THEIR DAMN FEET
Brandi #2: I put the nosy ones on doc review! How is that "not doing a damn thing?"
Brandi #1: I meant evil things. We're evil secret agents! Wet work, not scut work.
Brandi #1: FIVE HUNDRED CHAPTERS AND OUR EVIL PLAN IS STILL UNINTELLIGIBLE!
Brandi #2: Maybe we should be advancing the plot, then, instead of yelling about how non-advanced it is?
Brandi #1: YOU CAN'T HURRY CHAOS
Brandi #2: I find fire helps with that, actually.
Next time: everybody hangs out in the dark where I can barely see them.
I'm blaming it on them.
Because they can't respond unless I let them.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 21 February 2013.