gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 519





If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which I pair the spares.



Dagmar: I resent that.

Oh yeah? Open your mouth and say that.



Nick: I resent everything.

Yeah, I remember my teenage years.

Not least because I'm currently re-living them over in Oak Point.



Dagmar: Can you come collect your son?
Neil: That largely depends on which one it is.



Neil: Good news and better news!
Dagmar: My door's unlocked. Which one's that?
Neil: That's neutral. The good news is, the kid's already gone. The better news is, I hate wasting trips.



Dagmar: All those middle eastern wars you fought notwithstanding.



Neil: Don't notwithstanding me, andwithlying there like that!



Dagmar: I've been hearing about your daughter a lot lately.
Neil: Which one?
Dagmar: You know damn well which one.



Dagmar: Give it to me straight: how dangerous is Cecilia?
Neil: I'm all for giving it to you straight, Dagmar, but not when it is that it.



Neil: POLYGON BOMB!



Dagmar: Effective!



Dagmar: You sure you wouldn't rather stick around, ninja man?
Neil: Oh, is this one of those days where you don't hate me, then?



Dagmar: I've never hated you. I've just… understood you.
Neil: I've never experienced those as being two different things.



Dagmar: I respect your single-minded pursuit of pleasure.
Neil: You do?
Dagmar: It's why I became a politician! Mind you, I take intense pleasure from stonewalling and frustrating people who disagree with me, but the principle is the same.



Neil: I should warn you that my romantic partners have mostly come to bad ends.

Oh, that's not true.

None of them have met their worst ends yet, anyway.



I know where THIS is going.



Neil: It's going too far forward, is where it's going.

Yeah, this is how they sit on toilets at Oak Point!



Dagmar: I like it! It's like I'm flying!
Neil: Let me just ease back on the joystick a bit.



Dagmar: A mid-air collision!
Neil: There were no survivors, but nobody minded.



Neil: How mad would you be if I ate your bra?



Dagmar: I'd… find it difficult to be mad at you, right now.
Neil: Careful, that almost sounded like a challenge.



Neil: I once got a Buddhist monk to slap me.



Dagmar: How would you encounter a Buddhist monk?
Neil: We were stopping genocide in Myanmar.
Dagmar: I thought they were still doing that?
Neil: No, I mean, we were stopping doing genocide. We were trading off with the Buddhists, they wanted a turn.



Fuck you, genocidal Buddhists, by the way.



Y'know, I think I only like Maxis skin on Dagmar.

Neil: You think the outside's good, you should feel the inside.



Neil: I really like that bra.
Dagmar: I thought you were gonna eat it.
Neil: As the joke goes, you don't eat a bra like that all at once.



Ugh, again?



Neil: What?



You've got some explaining to do, '13.

Grugly2013: We're basically the same person, I ain't explainin' nothin'.



Dagmar: You wanna get out of here?
Neil: I dunno, outside is pretty overrated.

Y'know, I used to think so too?

Then I spent three months inside, and… my opinion actually hadn't changed at all.



Dagmar: Where should we go?
Neil: Let's swing by the Tailor. I'd like to have formal wear that doesn't obligate me to distribute sacks of toys via sleigh.




Dagmar: You ever think it's weird how little these places change?
Neil: Okay, well, I'm zero percent introspective, and all my potential thought processes of similar profundity levels have tended towards that point over time.
Dagmar: Whose phrasing is that?
Neil: The staff psychologist at Camp Nodell. He wrote it on my discharge papers.



Dagmar: Hey there, Ms. Young.
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Madam Mayor.
Dagmar: Can I count on your vote?
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Do real mayors always ask people that?
Dagmar: I don't see the relevance, unless you're somehow expecting to vote in a real election anytime soon.



Neil: Check out this babe I'm with!
Brady: I'm gay.
Dagmar: In which case I value your checking-out considerably more!



Dagmar: Isn't he a dreamboat?

No, you're a dreamboat.

Dagmar: Aww!

You're the dream Titanic, and he's a dream iceberg.



Dagmar: Any man who's willing to spend money to not look like Santa can't be all… uh…
Neil: Yeah, that's nonsense, don't finish it.



Neil: Alright, let's head to the hitchin' post.




Dagmar: Why did you call it that?
Neil: You'll see.



It still baffles me that Grugly2010 made all this scenery, and then never, ever did establishing shots of it.

Grugly2013: In his defense, he was depressed and useless.



Neil: Our world is the product of depression and uselessness!
Dagmar: That tallies.



Jade: Nobody's FUCKIN' calling, you SHAM OF A MAN



Shea: Careful, she's in a mood today.
Dagmar: Oh, wow! Neil, look, this NPC's experiencing her first emotions!



Confidence: I WANNA FUCK A LINE GRAPH



That's your DAD.

Confidence: Yeah, but his dick doesn't know that.



Esther: Do you know that chick?
Neil: You'll be able to know if I know a chick by whether or not she runs over and slaps me.



Dagmar: Isn't this the booth where everybody gets engaged?
Neil: For a given, incorrect, definition of "everybody," yes.



Neil: Stop writing me like I'm smart or something.

Yes, you're right, sorry.



Neil: "Hitchin' post," though, that's still about my speed.



Dagmar: Aww, you brought me here to ask me to marry you?! That's so not happening!



Dagmar: If you'd queue up the necessary interaction, please…?

Gladly.



Neil: What are you doing?
Dagmar: Pre-empting.



Neil: Fuckin' politicians are always doin' that.



Neil: Oh, boy! You got me a 3DS Max primitive!



Neil: Which I also wouldn't know about.



Neil: I hate being proposed to.



Dagmar: Why?
Neil: It's the man's job.
Dagmar: I'm willing to accept that role.



Neil: It's just… taking the ring is such a girly thing to do.

You could try not being such a throwback.

Neil: Actually, the camp psychologist specifically said that's beyond me.



Dagmar: So…
Neil: I have missed having a portable glass-scratcher on my hand!



Dagmar: Hurry it up, would you? I can't be this adorable for much longer, or it'll stick.



Neil: Yeah, what the fuck, I can hyphenate.



Neil: Hyphens for hymens! It's a fair trade.



I wish these things actually landed, and stayed there forever.

I'll implement it in Gen 3.



Dagmar: Neil, I'm so happy!
Neil: I'm happy too, Dag.
Esther: I'm miserable, if anyone cares.



Esther: And even if they don't.



Neil: Wow! That's some toss you've got there.
Esther: You look like a man who'd appreciate good underhandedness.



Dagmar: We're gonna be good together, Neil.
Neil: Gosh, I hope not.



Neil: That would be way too shocking a swerve.



Dagmar: Are you just now registering the engagement?
Neil: I'm, like, a hundred. I only registered that Nick is my son a few minutes ago.



Neil: Please don't greet him, baby. Under the Agent Code we'll have to fight if we make eye contact.



Dagmar: You're a secret agent, too?!
Neil: I helped found our SCIA branch, and train our second serial killer!



Dagmar: Maybe you shouldn't be saying that out loud.
Neil: I only said it once.



Neil: WHAT.
Cory: I reaalllly wanna fight you.



Dagmar: You boys have fun crossing swords.




Dagmar: We're bookending this bitch.



Chapters love being called bitches.



Dagmar: It always feels like I just went to sleep.

If it makes you feel any better, in terms of your lifespan, it was something like four months.



Dagmar: Yeah, that makes me feel MUCH better.



You should campaign in that outfit.

Next time: lawyer? I barely knew 'er!

This chapter depicts gameplay from 23 February 2013.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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