gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 525





If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which reconsideration figures.



Faith: Refigure your consideration, please.



Tucker: I'm not that considerate.



Yvonne: I consider that attractive.



Tucker: I attract consideration.



Tucker: This can't go on.



Yvonne: I find violence works well to stop pun-chaining.



Tucker: …did you just punch your sister out?
Yvonne: Out? I thought I killed her.



Yvonne: That was a joke.
Tucker: I'm not sure I believe you?



Yvonne: My sister's the only person I wouldn't murder.



Yvonne: Well, except MYSELF, but there's a separate word for that.



Yvonne: So yeah, wanna fuck before she wakes up?
Tucker: How would I fuck BEFORE she wakes up? She'd have to be awake to have sex with me!



Yvonne: I meant you and me.
Tucker: It's you and I! I won't fuck someone with poor grammar!



Yvonne: That's too bad. There's no end to the people I'm willing to fuck.



Yvonne: FUCK INSTANCE



Faith: …what…
Yvonne: Tucker hit you with a starfish, and then committed suistarfishcide.



Faith: …what?



Yvonne: Where do people keep their amnesia buttons? I haven't watched enough TV.



Tucker: I'm too new to die!



Yvonne: Go Team Horsesleep!



Faith: Oh, wow, did he starfish you too?



Faith: After he reverse-starfished me, somehow?
The Grim Reaper: IF THAT'S A SEX THING I DON'T WANT TO KNOW

Equipment visible.

The Grim Reaper: IF THAT'S A SEX THING I STILL DON'T WANT TO KNOW.



I'm surprised that's a negative memory for you.

Yvonne: I'm mad I didn't insert the starfish into him.



Faith: …I think I had all of the concussions.
Yvonne: There's probably still a few left over.



Faith: …did my husband die?
Yvonne: I can't be bothered keeping track of every random thing that happens around here.



Faith: Sometimes I forget what a hilarious bitch you are.



Faith: And how you're basically a woods-shitting bear.



Faith: Welp, time to make a sand-tombstone!



Yvonne: MAKE TWO



Yvonne: WE'RE HAVING MASHED CRAB TONIGHT



Yvonne: OH NO IT'S RETURNING TO ITS HOME PLANET



Yvonne: OR THE CROP JUST MADE IT LOOK THAT WAY



Yvonne: WAY TO BE STEREOTYPICAL, CRAB



Yvonne: You nearly slit my hot dogs!



Yvonne: You only need to do that to sausages.



Faith: What's the difference between hot dogs and sausages?
Yvonne: You're hot dogs and I'm sausages.



Faith: So, sausages taste better but hot dogs…
Yvonne: Are less likely to get you killed, yes.



Faith: I WANNA BE THE SAUSAAAAAAGE



Yvonne: I'm gonna have to slit you, then.



Yvonne: …or you could explode, that works too.



Yvonne: If you're gonna turn into some weird sand monster, you could at least have the decency to NOT get yourself up in my nether regions.



Yvonne: I don't know if I can get sandgina medication out here.



Yvonne: Can I tell you a secret?
Faith: I don't doubt that you have one.



Yvonne: I knocked you out and killed your husband and knocked you out again.



Faith: Can I retroactively say "No, you can't tell me a secret"?



Faith: Why would you kill him?!
Yvonne: He wouldn't cheat on you with me!
Faith: Oh, that's fair.



Yvonne: …sooooooo, reset?
Faith: You betcha.



Faith: Refigure your consideration, please.
Tucker: Is that a reference to something, or something?



Faith: Like most things, you'll never know.



Tucker: It's a real toilet, Faith. You don't need to paw kitty litter over her droppings.



Tucker: HIDDEN FAITH, CROUCHING TUCKER



Tucker: On this sand shall I build my castle.



Faith: Don't fill yours back in, in case I change my mind about the reset.



Tucker: What reset?



Tucker: What reset?
Yvonne: C'mere, I'll show you.



Tucker: Man, this is the life.

After death.

Tucker: What?



Yvonne: I guess I can put a little more effort/skin into the seduction, this time.



Tucker: You can't seduce me, I'm married to your sister.
Yvonne: Have you not seen any porn?



Yvonne: The only way we could be more fuck-destined is stepsiblingage.



Yvonne: Or one of those boss-secretary type things.



Tucker: Yeah, one of those tiki spaceman - naked teenager beach boss-secretary type things.



Tucker: So derivative.



Tucker: So, are you gonna be able to go to university, here in Shifting Sand Land?



Yvonne: I can't take courses, but I can probably get a professor to come here and get fucked for grades.



Tucker: Yeah, you probably could at that.



Tucker: …did you kill me today?



Faith: Yeah, let's segue right out of that sucker.



Tucker: How come mine's burnt?
Yvonne: I cooked the rest with suntan lotion instead of oil.



Yvonne: SHOULD'VE SAVED IT FOR MY FEETS



Yvonne: Sure, sure, laugh at the cold-blooded-
Faith: Hot-footed…
Yvonne: -KILLER



Tucker: Killer is right.



Yvonne: In the end, killer is left.
Tucker: As in…
Yvonne: As in "all that's."



Tucker: HOW



Yvonne: WE'VE HIT SANDWHALES

Next time: the sandwhales hit back?

I dunno, it's 5:16 AM and I'm caught up finally, what do you want from me.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 23 February 2013 and 25 February 2013.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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