gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 530





If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which I think you can do better, really.



Thornmarie the Evil Witch: That's definitely directed at me.



Stewart: Maybe it's directed at me?
Thornmarie the Evil Witch: Only obliquely.



This kind of thing should be illegal.



Alec Prince the Damned: Lots of things should be.



Alec Prince the Damned: And I wanna do them all.



Alec Prince the Damned: Speaking of things I wanna do!



Thornmarie the Evil Witch: If this is you doing me, you're doing me wrong.



Thornmarie the Evil Witch: In, like, multiple ways.



Alec Prince the Damned: No, this is definitely all fine.



Alec Prince the Damned: I don't see any problems with this.



Alec Prince the Damned: Bleh! Reality is my bitch.



Alec Prince the Damned: You are also my bitch.



Thornmarie the Evil Witch: Bitch, please.



Alec Prince the Damned: Why does SHE get to look awesome, and I don't?

'cuz maybe genocidal maniacs don't always get what they want?



Grugly2013: Makes you wonder why they go to all that trouble, don't it.



Grugly2013: I think she needs glasses, and he needs new ones.



Alec Prince the Damned: The only thing I need new ones of is minions.
Thornmarie the Evil Witch: That's some evil grammar, alright.



Thornmarie the Evil Witch: Cool, it snows in the attic! That's not gonna cause mold or anything.



Thornmarie the Evil Witch: Oh, yes, also, sun.

Should take care of the mold, at least.



Thornmarie the Evil Witch: I bet vampires are big donors for skin cancer research.



Thornmarie the Evil Witch: Hey, are there… air… holes… in…



Thornmarie the Evil Witch: …ggggg…



Thornmarie's choking upstairs.

Stewart: Yeah, she's into some kinky shit alright.



A New Gypsy Whose Name I Don't Have Time to Look Up: 'k.



Stewart: It's kind of unfair that you can always disguise laziness as humour.

Yes.



Veronica: It's kind of unfair that you can always disguise blandness as character.

Yes.



Stewart: Hey. What's your name?
ANGWNIDHTLU: I'm not allowed to say.



Because her mouth isn't moving.

Grugly2013: And you're lazy.

And I'm lazy.



Stewart: You're not even hot how I'm imagining you.



Stewart: I'm looking for romance.
Veronica: I'm right here.
ANGWNIDHTLU: She's right there.



Stewart: I'm looking for new romance.
ANGWNIDHTLU: Sure, I'll take your snow money.



ANGWNIDHTLU: Lemme rub my balls real quick.



CRACK

ANGWNIDHTLU: I killed an old woman for you.



Stewart: Why?
ANGWNIDHTLU: Because wishes always backfire.
Stewart: Wishes you PAY FOR, though?!



Stewart: Uh…. hi.
Chloe: 'lo.



Chloe: Say, not bad!
Stewart: I refuse to.



Stewart: But maybe I can improve you.
Chloe: Kind of offensive.
Stewart: You are, aren't you?



Stewart: Maybe if there's less of you…



Stewart: There we go! Still not good enough.



Stewart: TURN HER YOUNG OR SOMETHING



I honestly don't think that would help.



Chloe: It's okay, I understand.
Stewart: Are we singing "Centerfold" now?



Chloe: Dropping out of the sky like Slim Pickens was enough excitement for one day, I think.
Stewart: You were supposed to die at the end of that.



Chloe: Hey, well, eventually.



Stewart: Death comes for all of us!



Stewart: In between, it's just kisses and sex-having.



Stewart: Not with you, though.



Stewart: No, seriously, not with you.



Stewart: Why won't you leave.



Chloe: I'm gonna bite your throat out.



Chloe: And feed you to my pet raccoons.



Stewart: That's pretty hot.



Chloe: You had your chance, loser.
Stewart: Oh, I've had many.



ANGWNIDHTLU: Didn't work out?
Chloe: That's why I'm fat, alright!



Stewart: Okay, so, somebody who's not ancient, this time?
ANGWNIDHTLU: There's a youth surcharge.



ANGWNIDHTLU: Let me just wipe the Murphy off these things…



CRACK

ANGWNIDHTLU: Okay, I might have an aiming problem.



ANGWNIDHTLU: This is Lydia Couderc. She's from Takemizu Village.
Stewart: You got me a SimJapanese girl?
ANGWNIDHTLU: I think they're actually all racist spies there, but whatever.



Stewart: Are you a racist spy?
Lydia: Only when I'm in Takemizu Village.



Lydia: And also right now.



Stewart: Alright, let's see if there can be hot racist spies.



Thornmarie the Evil Witch: Fuck did I wake up into?



Stewart: Magnifico.
Lydia: There's probably an accent missing in there somewhere.
Stewart: Yeah, probably.



Stewart: But I don't need a lecture about accents from a racist spy.



Lydia: A hot racist spy, though!



Stewart: So, are you actually from ENTROPY?
Lydia: That depends. Are you important enough to kill?



Stewart: No.
Lydia: Then yes! Yes I am.



Lydia: And I have to kill you now, because unpredictability is kind of our thing.



Lydia: Don't plead for your life, or ask me to join the light side, or any of that clichéd nonsense.
Stewart: I don't think life-pleading is clichéd, is it?



Lydia: It totally is. People always do it when they're gonna die! I mean sheesh, be original why don't you.



Stewart: I'm identical to, like, four other dudes. Original's not my thing.



Lydia: I'm gonna cut your thing off.



Thornmarie the Evil Witch: Well I'm gonna cut you thing-cutting-off off.



Stewart: Pulitzer Prize, here we come!

Next time: Lydia the sword-fight lady.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 1 May 2013.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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