If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
I know, the Chronicles ended on a pseudo-cliffhanger, but current events forced me to pick a certain song for the day and it only fits with Oak Point so WE'RE BACK BABY
This chapter does not represent the present visual quality of the Chronicles! It's grody and uncropped and older than the iPhone, and so compressed it's frankly hilarious. Don't hold it against me; it's not beautiful enough!
Lewis: You trying to get lines? You ain't gettin' lines. Shoo.
Lewis: You'd have to fuck me just to get your name in print.
You're an asshole.
Lewis: You wrote me that way.
Lewis: Now leave me to create my static representation of the Windows 95 "3D Pipes" screensaver.
Lewis: Hang on, I need to get some reference video.
Lewis: I said "Hang on," not "Load a new lot!"
Charley: Hi, I'm Charley. We met in the last pic, but the Maker let Lewis talk over it.
Andy: I want to smooches you.
Lewis: So yeah, my wife still has no idea I'm banging your ex.
Walter: Is this actually happening? I've never been clear on that.
Michelle: The secret to a lasting relationship is lube, y'all.
Andy: I've been thinking of installing a bay window.
Lewis: That's not what that icon is.
Andy: Like you can tell at this resolution.
Charley: I can't believe you'd punch a hole in a perfectly good wall, just to get a better view of these people.
Andy: If I can get a better view of you without having to resort to demolition, just let me know how.
Michelle: What I wouldn't pay to have an ass like that, still.
Charley: We basically just met, and you're creeping on me hard, mister.
Andy: It's hard to not do things hard, when you're hard.
Andy: I want you to tinker with my dinker.
Charley: I want to suck and fuck.
Grugly2006: OKAY WOULD YOU PLEASE RE-READ PART 10.
…yeah, shit, neither of these people would be saying those things, would they.
Charley: No, so let's put this identity crisis to bed, shall we?
Grugly2006: Is this how you write your present-day stuff?
Grugly2006: 'cuz if it is, why even have characters? Just make them a big undifferentiated blob, fucking and screaming.
Andy: Why are these jerks still here?
Grugly2006: He wouldn't say that.
Andy: Hey, could you guys leave me and Charley alone for a bit?
Grugly2006: He wouldn't say that, either.
Andy: Hey guys I'm really glad you're-
Andy: STOP SQUELCHING ME!
Lewis: While you're both stuck in rewrites, I'd like to take this opportunity to say how great your clothes would look on your floor.
Charley: I'd like to respond by saying your opinions are noted and I'm too shy to ask you to leave because of them.
Andy: Wait, are we drama-dodging now? Because that seems like a bad approach for a… drama.
Andy: It's been great meeting you, Lewis.
Lewis: I'm not leaving.
Andy: I don't care how shy I am, there's a cute girl here and I'm kicking you out.
Charley: You think I'm cute?
Andy: It's not really a matter of what I think.
Grugly2006: Yeah, it totally is.
Andy: Don't listen to them. You're objectively beautiful.
No-one's objectively beautiful.
Grugly2006: Well… that girl we know at the… snowy place.
Well. You ever heard that song, "She Ain't Pretty (She Just Looks That Way)"?
Well, she doesn't even look that way anymore.
Andy: You guys done being misogynist, so I can be gynist?
I'm not being misogynist. I'm talking to my past self about an egotistical person we both know who has no reason to be egotistical.
Charley: Oh, they're talking about themselves, still?
Andy: I'd rather talk about us.
Charley: There's an us?!
Charley: Haha wow, the Best Before date on that margarine was not a lie!
Ooh, an early example of arms-clipping.
This happens basically every time now.
Charley: Please stop talking over the important moments in my life.
Andy: Yeah, my life too.
Charley: Well, that's optional.
Walter: When are you gonna meet someone and settle down?
Ember: I'm just a baby.
Walter: Exactly! Exactly. You need to grow the fuck up.
Ember: I mean I'm actually just a baby.
Walter: I know! I know. We should enlist you in the military.
Walter: A little trauma'll toughen you right up.
Ember: Being your daughter is trauma enough.
Walter: It's sweet of you to say that.
Walter: The bear traps arrive tomorrow.
Suzie: Beartraps! Why didn't I think of that.
Grugly2006: Yeah, you really should do something about that weird dude lingering in your house.
Suzie: By my count, there's three of you.
Kendal: Why would they put a screaming baby in the soundtrack for a cooking show?
Grugly2006: Man, even I'm starting to hate these pics.
Well, naturally; as the months pass you're getting closer and closer to being me.
Grugly2006: Are you something I want to be?
Not when you are now, but by the time you're me, somewhat.
Lewis: I'm so glad we have this cosmic horror show hovering above us at all times.
Grugly2006: What are you up to right now?
I've got a student taking an online exam.
Grugly2006: What for?
A history course I'm teaching.
Grugly2006: History of what?
HISTORY OF PEOPLE WHO WON'T LET ME MOVE ON TO THE NEXT PIC
Grugly2006: Well, I'm super sorry to have taken an interest in you, dude.
Well, there's other things happening right now you should be taking an interest in.
Grugly2006: I think we've established that what I should be doing, and what I am doing, rarely coincide.
Charley: I should be doing Andy.
Andy: We should be coinciding.
Charley: Hey, buddy, wanna coincide with me?
Andy: I need you to knead me.
Charley: I want you to whomp me.
Andy: As long as that's not a violence thing.
Charley: The only thing experiencing violence will be the bed.
Andy: And then she FUCKING LEFT
Andy: And then she FUCKING CAME BACK
Charley: And then fucking!
Andy: It's what I've always fucking. Wanted!
Navi: Hey! Listen!
Andy: I didn't get that reference.
Charley: That's how you know it's a reference.
Andy: I mean, I'd know if I recognized it.
No, because references to things you know parse as "cleverness" to people these days.
Grugly2006: I hate people these days.
I hate people these days too.
Grugly2006: I was kinda hoping your people would be better than my people.
There's more of them. That's about it.
Recently we found out that a lot of the really terrible ones have been pretending not to be terrible so we'd think they weren't around anymore.
We've got Nazis still.
Grugly2006: I mean, we kinda knew that.
Yeah, but, it's like, we thought we did? But then we turned the Nazis we knew about over, and it turned out there was a whole, like, soil-layer of Nazis underneath, undermining literally everything.
Also Vera Lynn died today/yesterday.
Grugly2006: Oh, what year?
This year. The year I'm in now.
Vera Lynn was alive.
That's what I said, yeah.
We managed to get through that whole household without ever giving Tom a line.
Grugly2006: Well, we had more important things to talk about.
Grugly2006: And, you know, look at.
Grugly2006: I hope this doesn't give me a spraypainted ass fetish.
That Pink Floyd poster you have is more likely to do that.
Grugly2006: Oh, hey, Chris is a person now.
Let's not be hasty.
Chris: Why wouldn't I be a person now?
Walter: We don't even let the new characters be people until they've survived at least a few days.
Tom: I'm worried people are going to confuse me with Lewis.
Walter: Which people?
Tom: Maker people.
Walter: Hey, wanna flip the couch over and play "Desk"?
Walter: I guess "Lava Eats" is a good game, too.
Walter: Welcome to the family, Chris.
Chris: I've been here this entire time.
Walter: Yes, but you haven't been welcome until now.
Grugly2006: Sorry, you reminded me of that poster and now I'm obsessed with butts.
Sure, that's what's doing it.
Grugly2006: Alright, let's move on to buttheads then.
Tom: Hello there! My name is Mr. Break Your Bones!
Amy: I had no idea I could throw a bear that far.
Chris: …I DON'T THINK YOU THREW HIM FAR ENOUGH
Oh, god. Let's come up with a conversation topic.
Kaylynn: HOW ABOUT STARVING TO DEATH
Grugly2006: Sure, go ahead.
Yeah, I don't know the words, but I can hum the tune.
Took me a second to realize she'd peed herself.
Got a mod for yellow pee in my game.
Grugly2006: Truly, what the internet was created for.
Grugly2006: Aw, it's no fun to talk over her when she's not awake to not enjoy it.
Big man, only zooming in on sleeping victims.
Grugly2006: She's not a victim of me.
They all are, though, really.
Grugly2006: I think of them all as victims of circumstance.
Said circumstance being-
Grugly2006: Yeah, me.
♪ Does anybody here remember Kay… Lynn? ♪
♪ Remember how she said that she would pee again, some sunny day? ♪
♪ Kaylynn, Kaylynn… what has become of you? ♪
♪ Is there anybody else in here for '06 to screw? ♪
Lloyd: ♪ Hey, the boy's back home! ♪
Kaylynn: Just in time for the show.
Ooh, it's Grimmy2006!
I guess the anthropomorphic personification of death is unlikely to have changed a lot in fourteen years.
The Grim Reaper: I EXIST OUTSIDE OF TIME, ACTUALLY.
The Grim Reaper: YEAH.
Well, you just don't get a break, then, do you.
The Grim Reaper: NO.
Grugly2006: You guys know each other?
The Grim Reaper: INTIMATELY.
Grugly2006: Do you like what I become?
The Grim Reaper: YOU SEND A LOT OF WORK MY WAY, I'LL SAY THAT FOR YOU.
Grugly2006: 'k, well… bye?
Lloyd: My thoughts exactly.
And then I guess I grieve for six days, and create yet another fucking Romance Sim, Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ: That's a weird name for a girl.
Alright, her actual name is Melanie Simms. Not nearly as cool as my next Melanie.
Oh! She's actually a Family Sim. She's a bitch, though. A very in-your-face, lazy, bitch.
This is Leonard Pritchard.
He is also a Family Sim? What's going on.
Grugly2006: Search me.
That's basically what's happening here.
Leonard is an asshole; an Active, Playful, otherwise unremarkable asshole.
Otherwise Unremarkable Asshole sounds like a band name.
Grugly2006: Hi, Melanie!
Grugly2006: I'm deleting you immediately.
Grugly2006: I didn't like her. This one's better.
Grugly2006: Her name's Valerie Simms now, and she's exactly the same but blonde.
Grugly2006: And I'm deleting her immediately.
Grugly2006: This is Leon Knight.
He looks kinda like Leonard Pritchard.
Grugly2006: Oh, I deleted him.
Grugly2006: This guy's got basically the same personality, only he's max Active and Playful and min Outgoing now.
What are you DOING.
Okay, what's THIS ONE's name.
Grugly2006: Still Valerie Simms.
How is she different from the last one?
Grugly2006: She isn't.
THIS IS HOW YOU GET NEIGHBOURHOOD CORRUPTION YOU KNOW
Grugly2006: Sure, whatever, this is Krista Lewis.
Her last name is Lewis? Like, your main character's first name is Lewis!
Grugly2006: Right? Anyway she's also a Family Sim.
ALL THESE FAMILY SIMS NOW
Grugly2006: And she's Nice, and Neat, and Active, and Shy, and Serious, and I'm never going to move her in or play her.
Okay, that's… that's enough of you, man, for the day.
Grugly2006: I'm very picky!
You're very something.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 17 April 2006, 23 April 2006, and 24 April 2006.