If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
In which I'm pumped 'cuz my second SCP article isn't being shat on. Yet?
Anyway welcome to what is now The Brothers Who Don't Talk Chronicles, apparently.
Wendell: YOU DIDN'T TELL ME WE WERE CHRONICLING
Dirk: I don't even KNOW WHAT THAT WORD MEANS
Pictured: how I usually feel when I have to play, or write about, FRIDAY and/or WEDNESDAY.
Dirk: That's also how I feel about romance.
Wander Murphy the Witch: This is how I feel about Romance.
I feel like Romance has a stupid name.
Romance: You named me.
So I feel like I must be right.
Romance: And I feel like I must be in love!
Wander Murphy the Witch: Yes, we'll sign a contract to that effect later.
Romance: I remember this place! I had sex with William in here.
Those are Cameron's memories.
Romance: Cameron's memories are my memories. Up to a point.
Is that weird for you?
Romance: Not really, you've forgotten to write any consequences for it, so.
Wendell: A door?!?! I hate comings and goings!
Wendell: A DOOR TO WORK?!?!?!
Romance: I'm gonna have to ask Andrew how he came up with a bomb that only affects furniture, carpet and wallpaper.
Wander Murphy the Witch: I mean, go ahead? I'm right here.
Romance: I don't want to think of you as Andrew.
Wander Murphy the Witch: Then stop making me think of you as Cameron.
I mean, the more I think of you as them, the more I'll like you, but hey. Do what you gotta.
Romance: So… clean this shit up, or cover it up?
Wander Murphy the Witch: What do you think?
Romance: I think I'm glad I don't have to scrub, though I wouldn't mind watching you do it.
Romance: Or doing it with you.
Wander Murphy the Witch: That part's a given.
Wander Murphy the Witch: …except I'm super tired right now.
Romance: Oh thank god, me too.
Wander Murphy the Witch: I didn't really want to have to fake my first time, y'know?
Romance: Hopefully you won't have to fake any time.
Wander Murphy the Witch: Fat chance.
Romance: You know what ELSE is fat?
I wonder what determines a gender-swapped clone's dick size.
UGH I COULD TELL THAT WAS THE QUOTE OF THE DAY AS I TYPED IT
IT'S DICKS ALL THE WAY DOWN BABY
Romance: Don't be down on dicks.
Grugly2013: She's cute.
Grugly2013: Does that make me gay?
I wish. We'd have better romantic options.
Grugly2013: So, you're saying I'm still single in 2020.
Does that somehow come as a surprise to you?
Grugly2013: It doesn't have to be surprising to be depressing.
Grugly2013: I've kinda got my eye on someone right now.
Well, unless they're a Sim, you're wasting your time.
Grugly2013: Eyeing my Sims isn't a waste of time?
Unlike all the girls you know, your stupid Sims story stays in your life pretty consistently.
Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: BOW BEFORE ME, MECHANICALS
Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: I REMAIN A FONT OF FONTS
Penny: Look upon my works, ye mighty, and be marginally richer.
Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: YEAH THAT
Just another day in whatever the fuck this is.
I was gonna type "Alright, I'm adding your long-ass name to my autocomplete."
BUT IT WAS ALREADY IN THERE.
Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: I AM BECOME RECURRENT CAST
Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: I GIVE THIS GIFT OF MUSIC
I don't remember who she's engaged to.
Grugly2013: Then nobody does.
HOUSE REMODEL TIME!
I have nothing to say about it.
Ooh, open concept!
I guess awkward claustrophobia is "out" this year.
One of those drapes isn't getting lit properly.
Yes, this is definitely an improvement.
I can already imagine all the cool and terrible things that will happen here.
Look who's finally taking some pride in ownership!
Grugly2013: I am become bourgeoisie, destroyer of taste.
Wander Murphy the Witch: Stop tasting my armpits.
Oh, thank god, a better quote.
A match made in science.
Wander Murphy the Witch: I think of us as a matched pair of second chances.
Romance: Except our first chances are together again, too.
Wander Murphy the Witch: Yeah, but they're fucked.
Wander Murphy the Witch: Unlike us, and our inexplicable non-fuckery.
Romance: I get soft when I'm tired.
Romance: And hard when I wake!
Wander Murphy the Witch: Who says Romance is dead.
Romance: YESSS! That's all the possible Romance jokes, dealt with!
Wander Murphy the Witch: I love that you're leaving.
She's a keeper.
Romance: Of what? Terrible secrets?
Next time: exactly the wrong kind of generational romance story.
…wait, no, not what that sounds like.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 2 May 2013 to 3 May 2013.