If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
In which look who's slipping again.
This is Alexis. She's not here.
Don't look at me like that.
Wren: Like w-
Like your mouth isn't moving, so you can't have dialogue.
Wren: How long are you gonna lean on that complaint?
Until the thing I'm complaining about collapses from the weight.
Grugly2013: You can't collapse the past.
It comes pre-collapsed, doesn't it?
So, what're you up to today?
Wren: Thought I might squeeze my own boobies.
Wren: A lot of people have recommended them to me quite highly.
Wren: But I guess I should see if any of them want a squeeze first.
Wren: Hey, main squeeze, how's it hanging?
Richard: It was hanging before you called, but now it's standing bolt upright.
Wren: Well, bolt on over here, then.
And through the magic of editing, he did!
Richard: Ugh, hey gerbil-face.
I thought for a moment this thing had died.
That would really suck, because I don't remember its name.
Wren: I feel that way about most people!
Richard: Why are you pointing at me when you say that?
Wren: No reason. Hey, can I see your driver's license?
Richard: How 'bout my pile driver's license.
Wren: Have some pricks, prick.
THEN GET A ROOM
Richard: Dem frex!
Richard: Nothing as comfortable-sounding as "Hang Out" should lead to sitting on a wooden floor.
Wren: You'll live.
Richard: I bet he's real antsy about killing minorities.
Yeah, there's an awful lot of whitefolk around here.
Richard: So make some non-white folk!
I will! But I was actually talking about the town where I live.
Richard: Any hot white folk? 'cuz I'll be right over.
Wren: I'm not hot white folk enough for you?
Richard: You can never have too many!
Wren: I would tend to agree.
Richard: You think Nick is hot?
Wren: You don't?
Richard: …well, I mean, no.
Richard: Nottttttt at allllll.
Wren: Aww, did I make you question your sexuality?
Richard: You make my sexuality do all types of crazy crap.
Nothing says romance like links to ancient web animation.
Wren: Nothing should be saying Romance at all, he had his chapters.
Richard: Who had what now?
Richard: THERE's the money shot.
Wren: I hope you've got a deep wallet.
Wren: 'cuz that's where money comes from.
Wren: Ruff ruff ruffly!
Richard: You are weird and adorable.
Richard: And your butt's just the right amount of skishy.
Wren: So make with the skishin'!
Wren: KISHIN'S NOT SKISHIN
Wren: Okay, check the pics and see if we fuck today.
You… do not.
Wren: But he's checkin' out my tits!
Richard: I always do that.
Wren: Well they ain't free.
Richard: They look pretty free to me.
So Windows 10 does this cool thing now where sometimes hitting Alt-Tab doesn't go back and forth between the two most-used windows.
UGH IT JUST FUCKING DID IT AGAIN
That's how I type these chapters! I type in the document with the pic open to the side, then I Alt-Tab to the pic and hit the "next" button, then I Alt-Tab back to the document and type!
AND NOW SOMETIMES IT JUST FUCKING TABS TO WHATEVER THE FUCK IT WANTS INSTEAD
Richard: My dick's vibrating.
Wren: Should've stuck it in.
Wren: Not that there isn't still-
Richard: WHOOPS TOO LATE YOU USED THE PAST TENSE ONCE
Ember: Wanna come be in a different storyline?
Richard: Yes, I do want to come! In a different storyline.
Richard: 'cuz apparently there's no coming to be had in this one.
Richard: I'm gonna go fuck your mom.
Wren: Say "hi" for me.
Richard: This won't make things weird between us, will it?
Wren: Things aren't already weird between us?
Richard: No, I mean-
Wren: I know what you mean, you meanie.
Wren: Just don't tell me literally a single thing about it. In fact, take back what you've already told me.
Richard: I'm gonna go not fuck your mom.
Wren: Whew! That's a relief.
Richard: FUCKING YOUR MOM WILL ALSO BE A RELIEF
This chapter depicts gameplay from 3 May 2013.