gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 539





If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which O, it's Canada Day again.



Leonard: I'm blaming women for stuff.

That's very Canadian.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: I'm plotting to exploit something.

That's very Canadian.



Bradleigh: I'm very lazy.

That's very very Canadian.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I'm intruding.

The most Canadian thing of all.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Good news!
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Not likely.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I figured out how to fix your family ties!
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Yup, I called it alright.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: .oO(I also think I figured out telepathy. Is it working?)



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Sorry, is it still my turn to speak?



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Still pretty sure I figured out the family ties thing, at least.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Okay, well, just let me get undressed.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: You mean "dressed," right?
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Like fuck I do.



Bradleigh: I think Beatriz is trying to steal the chapter. Please hurry.



Brandi: So we can steal the chapter.



I think Beatriz has already won.



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Alright, come on! I'm not waiting one more nephew-fuckin' minute!



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: God, what an image.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Isn't it?



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Surely my untrustworthy clone wouldn't betray my trust?



Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: SON OF A-




Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Son of nothin'.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Daugher of same.



Sullivan: Mother of god.



Shame about that neck.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: I'm a Sim. We're always sticking them out, you know?



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: This looks like a good sticking-in place.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: I should probably have printed flyers.



…how…?

Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: '13 was kind enough to bring it in for me.

…why…?

Grugly2013: I'm entering a new phase of powers abuse.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: So far, I like it.



Grugly2013: Please don't be calling your fuckin' relatives.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Fuckin' relatives, you say.



Grugly2013: Aw, come on.



Sullivan: I'd rather come in.



Oliver: You sound cute. Do I know you?



Oliver: Are you… making faces? I can't hear faces.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Unless they make sounds.
Oliver: Congratulations on independently discovering language?



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: It's July 1. Come celebrate with me.
Grugly2013: It's May 3.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Every day's a holiday.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: When you're holy.



The Men Who Stare at Doors.



Sullivan: More like the Man Who Swoons at Whores.



Oliver: This is a stickup!



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Oh, you'll get your stick up, alright.



Oliver: Done and done.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Stick this up my cooch.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Just kidding!
Oliver: I was gonna do it!



Oliver: Are we gonna do it?



Oliver: You have nice breasts.
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: "Breasts" is… kind of a creepy word, when a man says it? To a woman.



Phoenix: Breaaaaaasts.



Phoenix: …sssssssts.



Oliver: Are you… you look… are you married to anyone I know?
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: I can safely say that'll never happen.



Oliver: Because you don't want to get married, or you don't like anyone I know?
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Because the first thing, but the second thing is probably also true.



Alright, who'll sign my Change.org petition to get rid of Slow Dance?



And clipping?



And maybe Oliver?



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Not before I'm done with him.



Grugly2013: Yeah, let her be sexy for a bit, first.

With OLIVER, though.

Grugly2013: Just ignore that part.



Grugly2013: We can't start paying attention to Oliver now.



That's a fair point.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Speaking of fair points…!



Oliver: Only fair?
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: I'm an honest appraiser.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: But if you want me to re-assess, let me get out my equipment.



Oliver: Your equipment is already pretty… out, wouldn't you say?



I fuckin' hate iTunes.



Sometimes I want to scroll through all my songs while some are playing, but when it goes to a new song it bounces back to where that song is, and interrupts me.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: I don't see what that had to do with our makeout session.

I don't see what your makeout session had to do with anything interesting, so.



Oliver: And your complaining about random shit is interesting?

It's what most successful media on the internet is about.



Well, I mean, that and this.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: I PREFER THIS



Oliver: …how… how…
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Heheheh.



Oliver: IT'S LIKE YOUR VAGINA'S A PENCIL SHARPENER AND MY DICK'S A PENCIL THAT WANTS TO BE SHARPENED



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Vivid!



Yes, I agree. Vivid.



Oliver: Limpid.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: That doesn't mean what you think it means.



Oliver: Shut up and kiss my forehead.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Squeezed an extra one in there, did you?
Oliver: No, it was the same one.



Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Have I collected the entire set, yet?



Oliver: What does that mean?
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Nothing girl-Andrew needs to hear.



Oliver: Hi, girl-Andrew.



Wander Murphy the Witch: Put some clothes on, Oliver.



Oliver: No.



Oliver: This is me, now.




*ding-dong*

Bradleigh: That'll be my ding-dong.



Leonard: I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR DING-DONG

This chapter depicts gameplay from 3 May 2013 to 5 May 2013.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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