If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
In which there are sixty-nine pics but no sixty-nine.
There's a bigfoot dick hangin' out all over the place, though.
So there's that.
Beatriz: Hey buddy, wanna hang out?
Sullivan: REPETITION IS HUMOROUS
Sullivan: Really drawin' those readers in!
Xavier: You know he only keeps your around because he thinks the readers like you, right? You might want to stop casting doubts on their existence.
Xavier: I am not very good at casting, myself.
Sullivan: Some fuckin' wizard you are.
Nick: I'm some fuckin' wizard.
Beatriz: Don't cross-contaminate my subjects!
Beatriz: Take this queue number.
Amin: I'm number two!
Emerson: You certainly look it.
Beatriz: That's not nice. I approve.
Mrs. Crumplebottom: I don't approve of anything.
Amin: I approve of teleportation!
Emerson: I approve of not having to walk places.
Penny: I approve of covert surveillance.
Penny: And also walking on Nick.
Amin: Don't mind me, I'm taking anthropological notes.
Emerson: Decide if this is a mating ritual or not!
Xavier: STOP WALKING A MILE IN MY SHOES
Amin: Give her a mile, she'll take the entire highway.
Beatriz: Was that a reference to something?
Amin: I thought everything was.
Amin: Usually there's YouTube links attached, though.
I'm feeling lazy today.
Sullivan: Yeah, me too. You ever have one of those days where you know you could slaughter a small building full of people, and dogs, but you just don't wanna?
Amin: “and DOGS”?
Beatriz: Hot dogs!
Beatriz: Keep yours on this side of the buns, though, please.
Emerson: Your low-quality sex joke broke our sex.
Beatriz: Actually it was my disinterest that did that.
Emerson: Hey, that was probably my first time!
That's my saving roll in case it turns out I'm wrong.
Amin: Save a roll for me, too.
Emerson: You should teach everyone to teleport!
Beatriz: I don't want to jam up the hyperspace lanes.
Emerson: That's fair, if that's a thing.
Beatriz: I am also fair.
Amin: And we are both things.
Beatriz: Combine our things.
Amin: I think your thing might be too small for my thing.
Beatriz: My thing is adaptable.
Amin: I just came.
Beatriz: Yeah, me too.
Amin: That was quick.
Beatriz: I think you mean “thick.”
Meanwhile, absolutely nothing.
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
and I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
and in short, I was afraid.
- T.S. Eliot
Beatriz: Fear is the boner killer.
Amin Successful orgasm does the job better.
Beatriz: Yeah, but a little less CLEAAAAANLLLYYYY...!
Beatriz: I've never done it biggy-style before!
Amin: It's good exercise.
Anthony: Damn sasquatch!
Anthony: Can't fault his task in sasquitches, though!
Beatriz: That was the shortest, most intense fucking of my entire short, intense-fucking dominated life.
Amin: Yeah, you're welcome.
Beatriz: If this is what that gets me, I'd rather be unwelcome.
Grugly2013: How did you know I was here?
I left one useless pic with no moving lips in, just to trap you.
Beatriz: You want moving lips? I'll show you moving lips.
Amin: Such motion!
Amin: Surely there's some tongue involved in that, too.
Beatriz: g gnk gvm dy mnrmfng.
Beatriz: dt g frg dr grn dl dt rm mgrnyn mrgrf.
Beatriz: grnd dr?
Beatriz: dr drnd rf dr rztr.
Yusun: I bet she's saying something really important, to.
Probably something about how huge your mouth is.
Beatriz: This would be such a badass way to initiate sex.
Instead, she fucked the laws of physics.
Beatriz: They deserve to get fucked.
Kennedy: So, about how you're gonna teach us all to teleport.
Pictured: an unusually fine ass.
Beatriz: You're all welcome.
Beatriz: To eat it.
Fly away home.
Beatriz: Yours or mine?
Next time: family sciences.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 5 May 2013.