gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 542





If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which fuck your lousy country.



Nick: Hahaha, yeah. What?



Bradleigh: Check the date. It's Simdependence Day!



Nick: He certainly is dependent on us.



Beatriz: Maybe I should cook up some fireworks.



Abigail: Any of you see a slut around here?
Bradleigh: Looks like you with a fresh coat of paint?



Abigail: MY PAINT IS FRESH



Beatriz: It could use some touching-up.



I'm still pretty pumped that a bit of makeup alllows me to create basically infinite differently-hot Abigails.



Beatriz: That sure sounds like sisters-on-the-way to me!



Nick: WE WANT MORE ABIGAILS



Abigail: I thought I wanted that too, 'til I got some.



Beatriz: YOU “got some”? Pff, when?



Abigail: WE HAVE THE SAME BRAIN SO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN



Beatriz: If we have the same brain, shouldn't I not be able to rile you?



Beatriz: Theoretically? Mrs. Theory?



Abigail: Theory is my MIDDLE name!
Beatriz: I thought that was "Harriet."
Bradleigh: MY middle name is STANK.



Abigail: It is not.



Beatriz: I think we should let her have it.



Beatriz: I think we should let him have me.



Bradleigh: MEEE FIRRRRRRST



Beatriz: Oh, are we singing the Simerican national anthem?



Nick: “The Spot-Speckled Banana”? I don't remember all the words.



♪ Oh, yuck, do you think… we should throw this thing out ♪



♪ 'cuz it's flat, and it's grey, and it's not app-et-i-zing ♪



Abigail: Oh, is this song about you?



Beatriz: Your kids sure found me appetizing.



Oliver: You don't think maybe that's a seasonal pursuit, Nick?
Nick: If I suck hard enough, I can't even tell I'm freezing to death.




Beatriz: I'll bet I could out-suck him.



Abigail: You do really suck.



Abigail: But let's see if we can't redirect that sucking along more appropriate channels.



Beatriz: Suck my channel.
Abigail: That was the joke, yes.



Beatriz: Your joke sucked. Channels.



Stephen: .oO(God, I hope nobody asks me his name.)



Oliver: Hey dad. Have you seen Andrew, Franklin, Stewart or Leonard yet?
Stephen: .oO(Thank you, god.)

You're welcome.



Stephen: Also thank you for whatever that thing in there is.



Stephen: So, uh, your mom... did... something with her hair?



Alvin: How would you rate Stephen as a father?
Oliver: He doesn't rate.



Alvin: And as a forehead-kisser?
Oliver: Kind of a mom thing...?



Stephen: I'm still looking for an explanation for that mom-thing in there.



Beatriz: Well! If it isn't my hubby from another... mubby.



Abigail: You came!
Stephen: Was it that obvious?



Stephen: I had teleportation lag.



Stephen: Miss me?
Abigail: No! But I'm still getting some dopamine out of this, for some reason.



Stephen: It's probably because I'm a dope.
Abigail: I'm glad you've come to accept that.



Stephen: Actually, I've come to have my family ties reset.
Abigail: All you're getting out of that deal is one extra son.
Stephen: It's the one we named after Eddie Albert in Green Acres, right?
Abigail: I thought we named him after Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Stephen: Only to the extent that Eddie Albert in Green Acres was.



Stephen: The years have been kind!
Abigail: Maybe mine went to beat you up.



Abigail: I guess I should've accepted the compliment before responding with an insult.



Stephen: No, this way I get to take it back!



Abigail: NOT WITHOUT A FIGHT



Stephen: A PILLOW FIGHT!
Abigail: ...I mean... yes.



Abigail: I mean yes in so many ways.



All of them inexplicable.



Stephen: So I take it you cloned yourself.
Abigail: You'd better not take it.



Stephen: I'm a big fan of Abby's House of Humourous Misunderstandings.



Abigail: I'm glad I let you in.



Stephen: You won't be if I give you more sons.



Abigail: I almost said “I wouldn't mind more daughters.”
Stephen: Mhmm.
Abigail: Then I remembered how the first two turned out.
Stephen: Mhmm.



Beatriz: Surely there's a recipe in here which calls for sexual magic.



Abigail: Hey, sure, just drop right in, any time.



Beatriz: I've fucked him before, as you. I know you can multitask.



Stephen: Tell her I'm worth focusing on.
Abigail: She knows when I'm lying, though.



Stephen: I've missed you.
Abigail: You've missed in general.



Beatriz: Well maybe I think he's a hit.



Abigail: Maybe?
Beatriz: Yes.



Beatriz: I'd probably hit it.



Stephen: Is there a clone in my armpit, and is she glad to see us?



Man, why? You had it perfectly framed already.

Grugly2013: Perfection's not our brand.



Beatriz: What is our brand?
Grugly2013: Off-brand.



Beatriz: Off-brand! It's your turn!



Beatriz: I mean OLEEVAH!



Oliver: Hey there, hot mama!
Beatriz: Not for long!



Abigail: Hotness never lasts.



Abigail: But mamaness is forever.



Oliver: Move your cooch, I wanna watch my parents fuck!



Beatriz: Part of our never-ending series of phrases never before uttered.



Stephen: It was utterly something, alright.



Abigail: ...do you smell grass?

Next time: family ties.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 5 May 2013.

♪ Oh, yuck, do you think… we should throw this thing out ♪
♪ 'cuz it's flat, and it's grey, and it's not app-et-i-zing ♪
♪ It's beginning to smell; is it too soon to tell ♪
♪ If it mightn't be best for us all if it va-nished ♪
♪ Did it taste good before? 'cuz it don't anymore ♪
♪ And to keep on pre-tending is a terrible chore ♪
♪ So hey, should that spot-speckled ba-na-na-na-na get tossed ♪
♪ 'cuz whatever it had, it has def'nitely... lost ♪

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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