gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 556





If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which look, I was doing a lot of other stuff, okay?



See? They weren't doing shit without me anyway.



Ember: Yeah, I try not to do shits in my coffin.



Ember: I don't even like coughin' in my coffin.



I can see why y'all would miss sparkling dialogue like that.



Alec Prince the Damned: Did somebody say SPARKLING?!



Alec Prince the Damned: Or was it sparking?



Ember: SPARKING MEANS KISSING



Ember: On The Beverly Hillbillies, at least.



I prefer Green Acres.

Ember: I prefer STAY-AT-HOME HOUSEMATES



Ember: I think we're gonna need new furniture.



Ember: Maybe I'll try breaking it.



Richard: Hey, are you playable right now? Gotta get my face in front.



Ember: We're not doing your storyline now! We're doing the witch one.
Richard: Which one?



Ember: You can come over, but you might get murdered.

They call that a reality subtext.



This one's for all your pregnant vampire fetishists.

Yeah.

All of you.



Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: I OPEN



Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: AND EXPEL



Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: I GIVE THE GIFT OF BAD MUSIC



Ember: Yeah, an eldritch abagination just gave me a karaoke booth.



Richard: You're so hot when you're nonsense.



Richard: And also at all other times.



Here's a sign I'm behind: I honestly have no recollection of Richard becoming a vampire.



Richard: Oh, hey, the magic bag was here!



Ember: ♪ Vampiric is the state to be ♪
Richard: ♪ Blue-tinged is the face for me! ♪



Ember: ♪ Trapped sleeping in a dead-man box ♪
Richard: ♪ Keep karaoke, just gimme that Ember Fox ♪



Ember: ♪ Richard Flint is who I'd rather fuck!
Richard: ♪ I'm willing for a midnight suck! ♪



Ember: ♪ I'll take you to the edge of joy ♪
Richard: ♪ Fuck me gentle, I'm still a new vampire boy ♪



Ember: ♪ We swore! ♪



Richard: ♪ We're whores! ♪



You didn't finish the song.

Richard: No, but we were finished with it.



Richard: Hey, I've got an idea, fuck vampirism.



Richard: Is this the Fuck Vampirism Hotline?



Richard: Don't speak, we don't know your name.



Richard: Yeah, don't even open your mouth, it's fine.

Thanks man 



Richard: So, will this… no, still not worth making him look you up.



Richard: Go away, this scene can't progress any further.



Richard: I got us not death!
Ember: It's what I've always wanted!



Ember: My whole life has been dedicated to not being dead!



Ember: Except that part where I was.



Richard: I'm glad you're past that part.



Ember: I'm glad you like my present parts.



Ember: My present participles.



Richard: Here's to swiggin' with blue sexy bigguns!



Richard: Watch my arm.



Ember: Did it break, or something?



Richard: I dunno! It's hard to tell when you break something, when you're dead.



Ember: …are you sure this stuff is legit?
Richard: No, I wouldn't let the gypsy talk, so.



Ember: That's RAAAA-AAAAA-AAAACIIIIIIST…!



Richard: You're RAAAAAAA-AAAAAA-CIIIIIIIST



Ember: Oh god, my leg, oh god, I can't look. Is it bad? It feels bad.



Ember: THIS FEELS WORSE



Ember: Copycat.



Ember: Ah, mortality!
Richard: It's what's for mortals!



Richard: Like us.



Ember: Love us.



Ye gods, you need a makeover.



Wait, I'm ye gods!



AGAIN WITH THE MOUTHS



You know what, fuck you guys.



I was gonna delete this pic, but at least she's staring at his bulge so that's funny.



Grugly2013: Dude, how many pics DID you delete?

…not any?

Grugly2013: So how did we transition to THIS?!

YOU TELL ME



Ember: I think I have a more important announcement to make.



Ember: At MAXIMUM VOLUME
Richard: I love maximum volume!



Richard: You're yelling so hard, I'm hoarse.



Richard: As in, cut it out.



Ember: "CUT IT OUT" IS RIGHT



Richard: Why would a virtual world have painful pregnancy?



Ember: THREE YEAR LONG PAINFUL PREGNANCY



And here we have… uh…

Ember's baby.



Oh, neat! The heavens on high recognize the cosmic import of…

…Ember's baby.



Ember: You don't know what-

I don't know what I called her, no.



Richard: You know she's a "she," at least!

Nope! That's just what popped into my head.



Richard: Are you proud of your baby?
Ember: Nope! It's just what popped out of my womb.



Ember: See? There's more where that one came from.



Ember: I'll name them if they make it to toddlerhood.



Yeah, that's a lovely pic, '13.

Grugly2013: It's specifically for your to tell the audience what their name is.

Yep! I can see that.



Richard: Well hey, maybe he'll open SimPE for you some day.



I can perhaps be persuaded.



Wait, why…

Grugly2013: If you're not looking shit up, I'm gonna stop taking pics.



Richard: If you're gonna stop taking pics, we're gonna get up to some freaky shit.



Grugly2013: Or you could do it on camera?



Richard: Why do I feel like I'm the subject of an unfavourable comparison right now?



Hahaha, "now."



Although compared to what I'm doing right now, you're doing pretty well.



Richard: While the doing's good.



Richard: It's like being stalked by a sex monster.



Richard: Which is to say AWESOME



Richard: Even if it is a slow-motion sex monster.



Ember: Gotta pad the chapter out somehow!



Yeah, 'cuz I'm not behind enough as it is already.



I like how their boobs get bigger when they do this.

Richard: I like it too.

I meant it just as a general comment on how weird that is.

Richard: I did not.



Richard: I didn't think big tits were your thing, though, Ember.
Ember: Well I didn't think you were six feet tall!



Richard: Not thinking makes it not so.



Ember: Welp.



Ember: Haha more like whelp.



Ember: What? It was a joke.



Richard: Jokin' hot.



Grugly2013: Alright, fuck these two.

It's fine, they'll fuck each other.

Next time: villains gonna vil.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 7 May 2013 to 8 May 2013.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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