gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 558





If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which it's fine, I'm only a week behind still.



Theresa: Get a life.



Theresa: Get it?



Yeah.



Chris: Want it?
Corey: Yeah.



Jizelle: Zsmell eet?



Corey: So, did Brandi mention me? And how hot I am?



Corey: And how hot I am?
Jizelle: Jizelle eez alzo 'ot.



Vanesa: Do you remember your first time?
Corey: Probably, but... not as such?



Jizelle: Eetz bronounzed "zuch."



Jizelle: Oup!



Corey: Baby, you make my heart pound like a tired fake French woman slipping on a snowy sidewalk!



Chris: I'm slowly committing suicide!



You're not the only one.



Corey: I wonder if we should do something about them.
Chris: What, you mean to speed it up or something?



Vanesa: You'll catch your death out here!
Chris: We don't catch death, Vanesa, we throw it.



Chris: That said, I couldn't feel my fingertips anymore, so.



Vanesa: What are we gonna get up to today?
Chris: 076.jpg!



Chris: I just love metatextual humour.



Chris: I'm metasexual.



Vanesa: So, Brandi says the SCIA is corrupt.
Corey: She would know.



Vanesa: I think we're all corrupt.
Corey: That does sound like us.



Vanesa: I think maybe we should just ally with the main characters. They're probably not evil.
Corey: Sure, sure, kick the problem upstairs.



Corey: How come you suggested Andrew instead of William, though?
Vanesa: No sexy reason.



Corey: You think Andrew is SEXY?
Vanesa: Well, I did have sexy with him.



Corey: EW



Corey: Thirty kicky-bag kicks penance. NOW.



Chris: THIS INTERACTION NEVER WORKS PROPERLY



Jizelle: At leazt I pazzed out on ze grazz.



Jizelle: I'd 'ate to fall down on zomezing 'ard.



Ocean: I don't WANT a handjob!



Phoebe: Not in the piss, not in the piss, not in the-



Phoebe: ...piss.



Vanesa: Did somebody just die?
Corey: Certainly smells like it.



Vanesa: He could've just locked the door.



Why are you mad at Andrew? He resurrected you!

Vanesa: Yeah, that's definitely one reason alright.



Vanesa: Turns out the guy I met when I was a spy and he was a spy wasn't telling me the whole truth!
Corey: Inconceivable!



Vanesa: I think that means what he thinks it means.



Jizelle: Ouy are you zpeaking to me?
Vanesa: I dunno, you were there?



Vanesa: I was hoping maybe you'd want to help me get to the bottom of this.
Jizelle: Zat's eazy. Zere's only one more zet of ztairs.



Jizelle: Admeetedlay, zai're a beet glogged at ze moment.



Jill: Glog glog.



Don't worry, you're too cute to bin.



Jizelle: Eef we kill Brandee, oui can all get bromozhunz!
Chris: What the FUCK are you saying?!



Jade: Bbbbbb-bbbbbb-bbbbboyyyyyy, Jjjjjjj-jjjjj-jjjjj-Jilllllll! Yyyyyy-yyyyy-yyyyou ssssss-sssss-
The Grim Reaper: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING?!



Chris: Another one?
Vanesa: Yeah, I'm thinking of cutting to down to only a half-moment of silence at this point.



Chris: Still seems excessive.



Vanesa: Maybe we should move?
Jizelle: OUI CAN'T LET ZE DERRORIZTZ VIN!



Vanesa: Got a little German in your French there, Jizzy.



Theresa: Who wants Romanian?



Chris: I'm starting to think this is just one big harem to you.
Corey: Only starting?



Chris: Aaaaand it stops.



Corey: Don't awkwardly hug-fuck my harem to death!



Vanesa: Can we take turns? We can take turns, right?



Corey: I don't see why not.



Vanesa: Hey, no hard feelings.
Jizelle: For?
Vanesa: For you bein' a big ol' whore.



Theresa: What you whores up to?



Corey: Whorribleness.



Theresa: I feel a title pic coming on.



Vanesa: It can wait.



Unparsable.



Theresa: My nose looks funny.



Theresa: DON'T LET IT FOOL YOU



Corey: I think my brainpan is permanently fooled at this point.



Jizelle: ZEN ZEREZ NO REAZUN NOT TOU GEEP HWACKING EET



Corey: Wow, I think I almost understood that?
Theresa: Yep, that's brain damage alright.



Vanesa: GOTCHER NOSE



Corey: Broke it, at the very least!



Vanesa: A NOSE FOR A HEART



Theresa: Sorry bro, the heart doesn't want what the heart doesn't want.



Corey: Dead people have no hearts.
Theresa: Then I guess I don't want nothin'.



Vanesa: I still want an explanation about how these easels are structural.



Corey: Oh, they're not. The schlubs outside are just too emaciated to shift them.



Yusun: Nonsense! We're plenty well-fed, aren't we, Jade?



Corey: Aww, she was kinda hot.

Not really.

Next time: uh, the chapters start getting shorter.

Not, like, shorter than this, mind you, but shorter than they were gonna be.

So there's gonna be like a hundred more of them than there originally was gonna be.



…not tomorrow, mind you.

I don't type that fast.



…I do type fast, though.

And, you know, a lot.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 8 May 2013.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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