If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
In which it's fine, I'm only a week behind still.
Theresa: Get a life.
Theresa: Get it?
Chris: Want it?
Jizelle: Zsmell eet?
Corey: So, did Brandi mention me? And how hot I am?
Corey: And how hot I am?
Jizelle: Jizelle eez alzo 'ot.
Vanesa: Do you remember your first time?
Corey: Probably, but... not as such?
Jizelle: Eetz bronounzed "zuch."
Corey: Baby, you make my heart pound like a tired fake French woman slipping on a snowy sidewalk!
Chris: I'm slowly committing suicide!
You're not the only one.
Corey: I wonder if we should do something about them.
Chris: What, you mean to speed it up or something?
Vanesa: You'll catch your death out here!
Chris: We don't catch death, Vanesa, we throw it.
Chris: That said, I couldn't feel my fingertips anymore, so.
Vanesa: What are we gonna get up to today?
Chris: I just love metatextual humour.
Chris: I'm metasexual.
Vanesa: So, Brandi says the SCIA is corrupt.
Corey: She would know.
Vanesa: I think we're all corrupt.
Corey: That does sound like us.
Vanesa: I think maybe we should just ally with the main characters. They're probably not evil.
Corey: Sure, sure, kick the problem upstairs.
Corey: How come you suggested Andrew instead of William, though?
Vanesa: No sexy reason.
Corey: You think Andrew is SEXY?
Vanesa: Well, I did have sexy with him.
Corey: Thirty kicky-bag kicks penance. NOW.
Chris: THIS INTERACTION NEVER WORKS PROPERLY
Jizelle: At leazt I pazzed out on ze grazz.
Jizelle: I'd 'ate to fall down on zomezing 'ard.
Ocean: I don't WANT a handjob!
Phoebe: Not in the piss, not in the piss, not in the-
Vanesa: Did somebody just die?
Corey: Certainly smells like it.
Vanesa: He could've just locked the door.
Why are you mad at Andrew? He resurrected you!
Vanesa: Yeah, that's definitely one reason alright.
Vanesa: Turns out the guy I met when I was a spy and he was a spy wasn't telling me the whole truth!
Vanesa: I think that means what he thinks it means.
Jizelle: Ouy are you zpeaking to me?
Vanesa: I dunno, you were there?
Vanesa: I was hoping maybe you'd want to help me get to the bottom of this.
Jizelle: Zat's eazy. Zere's only one more zet of ztairs.
Jizelle: Admeetedlay, zai're a beet glogged at ze moment.
Jill: Glog glog.
Don't worry, you're too cute to bin.
Jizelle: Eef we kill Brandee, oui can all get bromozhunz!
Chris: What the FUCK are you saying?!
Jade: Bbbbbb-bbbbbb-bbbbboyyyyyy, Jjjjjjj-jjjjj-jjjjj-Jilllllll! Yyyyyy-yyyyy-yyyyou ssssss-sssss-
The Grim Reaper: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING?!
Chris: Another one?
Vanesa: Yeah, I'm thinking of cutting to down to only a half-moment of silence at this point.
Chris: Still seems excessive.
Vanesa: Maybe we should move?
Jizelle: OUI CAN'T LET ZE DERRORIZTZ VIN!
Vanesa: Got a little German in your French there, Jizzy.
Theresa: Who wants Romanian?
Chris: I'm starting to think this is just one big harem to you.
Corey: Only starting?
Chris: Aaaaand it stops.
Corey: Don't awkwardly hug-fuck my harem to death!
Vanesa: Can we take turns? We can take turns, right?
Corey: I don't see why not.
Vanesa: Hey, no hard feelings.
Vanesa: For you bein' a big ol' whore.
Theresa: What you whores up to?
Theresa: I feel a title pic coming on.
Vanesa: It can wait.
Theresa: My nose looks funny.
Theresa: DON'T LET IT FOOL YOU
Corey: I think my brainpan is permanently fooled at this point.
Jizelle: ZEN ZEREZ NO REAZUN NOT TOU GEEP HWACKING EET
Corey: Wow, I think I almost understood that?
Theresa: Yep, that's brain damage alright.
Vanesa: GOTCHER NOSE
Corey: Broke it, at the very least!
Vanesa: A NOSE FOR A HEART
Theresa: Sorry bro, the heart doesn't want what the heart doesn't want.
Corey: Dead people have no hearts.
Theresa: Then I guess I don't want nothin'.
Vanesa: I still want an explanation about how these easels are structural.
Corey: Oh, they're not. The schlubs outside are just too emaciated to shift them.
Yusun: Nonsense! We're plenty well-fed, aren't we, Jade?
Corey: Aww, she was kinda hot.
Next time: uh, the chapters start getting shorter.
Not, like, shorter than this, mind you, but shorter than they were gonna be.
So there's gonna be like a hundred more of them than there originally was gonna be.
…not tomorrow, mind you.
I don't type that fast.
…I do type fast, though.
And, you know, a lot.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 8 May 2013.