gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 561





If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


In which the mile high club goes low-frills.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: But high thrills!



Victor: CLUTCH, O ASS CRACK OF MINE!



Victor: Like my life depends on it, or something.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Wave to the Grey Lady!
Victor: I WON'T



Victor: I can't take my hands off of you.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: It's more romantic if you say ey-
Victor: DON'T CHANGE POSITIONS!



Victor: Hahaha holy shit we're gonna die.



Victor: But! At least we'll die fucking.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Technically we'll die falling.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Or from ceasing to fall.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Technically.



Victor: I don't think technicalities have much to do with our present situation.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: No, you're right, this is more of a mysticality sort of thing.



Victor: Also, boobs.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I take you flying, and you focus on the boobs?
Victor: Flattering, right?



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: The flying is something I learned! The boobs I got with zero effort.



Victor: It took me some effort to get access to them, though.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I literally summoned you here to have sex with me.
Victor: Yeah, my atoms are tired!



Victor: So hey, what happens if you lose concentration?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: We plummet to our deaths.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I don't think that was a fair reason to deny me an orgasm, honestly.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Luckily I'd already had, like, three.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Wanna go up again?
Victor: Never.



Victor: I'm a terrestrial lover from this point forward.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Speaking of points moving forward…



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Aww, boo, backward.
Victor: On second glance, yeah, I can see that those would be free version tits.



Victor: Still, the undocumented tits aren't worth sucking.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You're persistently terrible.



Victor: The persistence is key.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I'd say the huge penis is key, from personal experience.



Victor: You have a huge penis?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I have had a huge penis.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I MEANT YOURS
Victor: Cool? I'm not homophobic, just tired.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Tiredness is acceptable.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Slovenliness, not so much.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Jury's still out on slatternliness.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Oh, yeah, right.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Apello Incestum!



Xavier the Warlock: What-
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: A BURGLAR DID IT



Xavier the Warlock: -was that about incest?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: It's the Latin word for "cuckold," apparently.



Xavier the Warlock: What's that a word for?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Clueless dudes.



Xavier the Warlock: I know some of those.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I've known some of those.



Xavier the Warlock: I don't know what that means.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I know.



Xavier the Warlock: Someone's feeling amorous tonight!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You have no idea. Hopefully.



Xavier the Warlock: Hey baby, you ever fucked on a broom?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: DEFINITELY NOT



Xavier the Warlock: I think it would be really cool!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: IT DEFINITELY HASN'T ALREADY BEEN



Xavier the Warlock: …cool! We can try it, then?



Xavier the Warlock: Thank you for saving me from the magic burglar.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Thank you for not thinking things through?



Xavier the Warlock: If I thought things through, I wouldn't suggest broom sex.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Somehow this is even more dangerous than "broom sex" already sounds.



Xavier the Warlock: I fuck danger for breakfast, baby.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: That's a bad way to gain calories.



Xavier the Warlock: I hope nobody's got a BB gun.



Xavier the Warlock: If a hunter shoots us down, do you think they'd stuff us?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: And mount us?



You're already mounted.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Thank you for identifying the joke.



Amar: I think I felt a drop of rain.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Yeah, well, it's getting pretty warm up here.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I CAN'T BELIEVE WE SEX-SWEATED THE PAPERBOY



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: It was magnificent.



Xavier the Warlock: YOU'RE magnificent.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Yes.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Anyway, bye.



Xavier the Warlock: I can't teleport.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Yeah, I know.



Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I didn't want him seeing my thought balloon.



Xavier the Warlock: So, Grey Lady, looks like it's just you and me!
The Grey Lady of SimCity: .oO(Wanna hear a funny story?)



The Grey Lady of SimCity: .oO(It's about fuckin'.)



Xavier the Warlock: Is it about how I'm gonna fuckin' get down from here?



Xavier the Warlock: 'cuz I wanna fuckin' get down.

Next time: it's a party in the tertiary cast.

Xavier the Warlock: From here.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 8 May 2013.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2
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