gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,

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The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 566

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, your one-stop shop for sex and death!

A generational story about fictional folk killing and cavorting with one another, and a malicious omnipotent narrator against whom the fourth wall provides no defense.

All naked fake people/fake people having fake sex are 18+ and consenting, perverts go away kthx

If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at instead!

In which I legitimately don't crop any pics, for the first time, but there's only fifty-four of them and some have mistakes in the background I can't fix so it's still not good enough really.

Penny: Got my fat money!

Penny: I mean, my fat cheque!

William Jr.: They taught us not to make fun of fat people in school.

Nick: Did they teach you how to get the HD channels?

William: GOD, the way you look at that grilled cheese sandwich is DISGUSTING!
Confidence: Love you too, Willyboy.

William: GOD, the way you call me WILLYBOY is DISGUSTING!
Confidence: Love disgusting you, Willyboy!

Penny: Your father's disgusting.
Victor: Yeah, I get it honestly.

William: Whereas I prefer to get it dishonestly!

Victor: Honestly get out of here so I can take a bath.

Victor: Or, sure, take a shit while I strip off. That works too.

William: Speaking of workin' it.
Valerie: They weren't speaking of that.
William: Don't fuck with my segue.

William: Fuck with me.

William: What say you and I pretend you're your sister?

Valerie: What?
William: That's EXACTLY what your sister would say!

Valerie: If you don't want me for who I am, I should go.
William: You're literally made up to look like Vicki.

Valerie: I'm a woman who chooses to look exactly like her sister, but refuses to indulge the fantasy that she is her sister!
William: I hate that kind of woman.

William: Why do I get the feeling the season of move-outs is about to enter a new phase?

William: Well FOOMPF to you, too.

Valerie: I've had enough of this farce.

Hey! Don't insult my farce!

Valerie: I mean I'm sick of trying to fuck with his head.

Why ARE you trying to fuck with his head?

Valerie: Because the evil overlords say "Fuck with his head," you better get up to some serious head-fuckery!

Evil overlords?

Valerie: Yeah! From ENTROPY!

Who do you work for, in ENTROPY? The main… bad… guy?

Valerie: No, the main bad guy only dictates orders to his second-in-command, and that's not me. I'm not a racist, but…

…but what?

Valerie: Huh?

You said "I'm not a racist, but…"

Valerie: No, you typed it wrong. I said "I'm not A Racist Butt." That's the second-in-command of ENTROPY.

Valerie: He's a butt, see? But he's racist.

William: Yeah, seriously, knock it off.

William: Wait, is this my fault somehow?

William: This is NOT what I meant by "Knock it off"!

William: I can't help it if she flirts with me!
Penny: The neighbourhood's named after you! You're responsible for everything that happens here.

William: Oh, darn, the needy pregnant one doesn't like me now, but the hot young one still does! However will I cope.

William: Jokes aside, I do have a literal coping mechanism over here.

William: ♪ This frozen concoction that helps me bang on ♪

Uma: ♪ Here I am, back again in Sharpesvale ♪

Nick: ♪ Scissorin' my game of paper and rock ♪

Victor: ♪ Some people say that there's a bug on your face ♪

William: ♪ But I know… well, it could be my fault ♪

William: BUT IT ISN'T

William: There's a whole neighbourhood full of fuckwads out there, and they've been fuckin' their wads since before I was born.

William: I'm not the one driving them apart. I'm the one building bridges!
Uma: With your d-
William: With my dick, yeah, you caught that?

Uma: Yeah, I've caught your dick a few times.

Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: This is the dog bath.
Dylan: Cool! Are you the dog?

Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Ooh, are you one of those bohemians I keep hearing about? What's it like pretending to want to be poor?

Victor: FUCK your gambit.

Penny: Have we met?
Confidence: That's complicated.

Confidence: Everything's complicated.

Not everything.

Victor: Yeah, everything.

Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Some people claim that there's a woman to blame!
Dylan: Ah, yes! Misogynists.

Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: I mean, sometimes women do bad things.
Dylan: Keep it under your hair.

Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Oh, shit, I'm going blind.
Dylan: No, night fell.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: So THAT's why they phrase it that way!

Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Are you mad at me, or something? For fucking your boy…friend… oh. You're mad at me for fucking your boyfriend, right? Suddenly that seems kinda obvious.

Dylan: I'm with you except for the "suddenly" part.

Dylan: He wasn't really my boyfriend, but the jealousy subroutine wants what the jealousy subroutine wants.

Dylan: Did you just Check me Out?
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: …no?

Dylan: And REJECT me?
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: That part happened.

Penny: I wish something would happen with my parts.

Next time: parts happen.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 10 May 2013.

Tags: ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sharpesvale chronicles, simblr, sims, sims 2

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