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Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates on Friday every week, and sometimes on Tuesdays!

If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!

Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3.
Recaps: 1.

I have the weirdest feeling of déjà vu right now.

Last time in the Clover County Chronicles...

Hahaha, secret agents are so jealous of their privacy for some reason.

Well this is a blast from the past.

Abigail: What are you talking about?

This is your old house. From sixty years ago.

Abigail: Oh, wow, really? It looks even lamer than before.

Okay, so your bedroom looks like a pine-based cleaner ad.

And okay, the rest of the place is a pastel hell.

But look at all that glowing green shit! That's got to count for something.

Abigail: Four years of university to get me back to where I was in 2000?


Abigail: It's still bullshit.

I remade the local convenience store! It's less skeevy now.

Abigail: So you're saying you made it a worse convenience store?

Gerald: Hey, sexy lady! Oh shit, I'm singing that stupid song now.

Abigail: Are these dry-clean only? I need to get the stink of failure off them as soon as I get home.

Bradley: I wouldn't bother! Most of us emit it like a cloud.

George: You sure do look stupid, Mr. Price!
Bradley: Oh yeah? Well at least I don't look like why is there nothing wrong with the way you look? What kind of townie are you?!

Abigail: The hot kind.

Stop that.

Abigail: Stop mistaking my high chemistry score for other people's attractiveness?

No, stop finding people hot. We have enough kids around here already.

George: But I'm old and sterile!
Abigail: Yeah! He's old and sterile! And hot!

Poppy: Man, this place is shitty and old.

That's what I was going for!

Poppy: Well that's cheating.

George: Won't you stay?
Abigail: Nope! I bought you that coffee so you'd pee yourself and stop being attractive.
Poppy: If I promise to pee myself, will you buy me one too?

Cameron: Don't you guys carry Monster here? I want to look even more ridiculous.

Bradley: An old man kicked my ass a while ago.
Poppy: In your defense, you are also an old man. And super grody.

Bradley: Oh yeah? Well, when I was trapped in my basement, I outlived a young man who was much grodier!
Poppy: This sounds like bragging in your head, does it?

Bradley: It's amazing how being locked in a concrete tomb full of piss and rotten flesh doesn't make for harmonious social relations.

Bradley: But I did watch a woman die.
Poppy: Now that's the kind of badass I'd expect from that moustache!

Abigail: There is nobody here worth talking to.

Welcome to my world.

Poppy: Do you have any ass at all?!

Good thing you do.

It's like I've died and polygon to heaven.

Abigail: They don't let people who pun into heaven.

Abigail: It's the ultimate gated community!

Abigail: Now if only we could lock the gates from the outside.

What did you do to your hair?

Abigail: Because then we'd have all the religious people within one defined blast radius. Problem solved!

What did you do to your clothes?

Abigail: I prefer to blind with science, but it turns out some people are scienceblind. This is my contingency plan.

It is a good plan.

Abigail: Hey Romeo! It's Juliet. Hahaha! No, I'm joking. No. Juliet? Like, from the play?

Abigail: The one from the murder-suicide pact?

Abigail: The one who got her entire family punished? You're making this weird.

Abigail: Alright fine it's Abigail. Come over and we can make out.



Romeo: A guy needs to know these things beforehand.

Abigail: I'm screening potential husbands. You seemed pretty cool at university. You didn't pee yourself a lot.
Romeo: That's because I couldn't figure out where the food and drink was.

Romeo: I subsisted on your used underwear.

Abigail: Let's finish the interview anyway, in case the next guy turns out to be a child molester or something.

Romeo: I've never been forced to want someone to be a child molester before. It feels morally questionable.

Abigail: He has morals! Already better than William.

Or pretty much anybody else around here.

Romeo: That ass! It's like I've died-
Abigail: Dammit-
Romeo: -and seen a really nice ass!

Abigail: You did that on purpose, didn't you.
Romeo: Did what? Sure, let's assume so.

Abigail: So, what do you have to recommend yourself to me? There's this other dude, he's a dead ringer for the town's most eligible bachelor.

Romeo: The town's most eligible douchebag.
Abigail: Yes, but he's got it where it counts.
Romeo: Heart.
Abigail: No, his nine in-
Romeo: HEART.
Abigail: It's so big, science can't explain it!

Abigail: Even capitalized Science.

Romeo: Do I detect a hint of admiration there?
Abigail: Alvin's alright, if you like dumb people.
Romeo: And do you?
Abigail: They inflate my ego. And that's a big part of being a scientist, honestly.

Abigail: That and getting people killed.

Abigail: I'm good at that part.

Romeo: I'm not sure if I want to end up disintegrated or anything.

Abigail: Is a little commitment too much to ask for these days?

Abigail: So, do you know how to dance?
Romeo: No, but I don't know that!

Abigail: Here's a good dance, I call it the "Basketball Screening."
Romeo: If you don't want me to piss myself, don't remind me of gym class.

Romeo: In fact, just... don't ever remind me of gym class. For any reason.

I hear you.

Romeo: This is a definite improvement!
Abigail: You taste like desk mints.
Romeo: I told you, I couldn't figure out the cafeteria system.

Abigail: I'm not sure I want to feed you like a baby bird for the rest of my life.

Abigail: Clay! Clay! Come over here, my alternatives are dire.

Abigail: I think I'd sooner kiss the skunk.
Henri LeStanc: Pfft, my standards are way too high for that. You don't even have a paunch!

Romeo: Do you have any job openings?
Henri: How are you at emitting noxious fumes?
Romeo: I go to MNU.
Henri: I'll take your resume!

Clay: Hey, these places are pretty classy! I wonder where they keep the alarms.

Clay: Wanna help me case the joint?
Henri: I'll distract her, if you promise to steal all the tomato juice.

Abigail: Were you planning to steal my heart too?
Clay: I'll let you know when you give me back my tongue.

Clay: Holy shit! You're blonde!
William: She's been everything but grey.
Henri: I can fix that, if you like.

Abigail: Go away, you stinky skunk! And you too, Henri.

William: Have fun never being satisfied sexually again!
Abigail: Have fun watching your wife breastfeed with milk made from your parents.
William: Have fun bleaaaaaaaagghh you win.

Romeo: Will you be my valentine?
Henri: Only if that thing's edible.

Abigail: I'm way too good for these losers.

Hey, hey. Beauty is only skin deep.

Abigail: Actually, it's even shallower. Most of this will disappear when I take my casual clothes off.

Abigail: Which could happen at any moment.
Clay: Nothing keeps a man interested like the possibility of nudity! It's the only reason I know what happened in Titanic.

Romeo: The skunk ditched me.

No great loss.

Romeo: I really thought we had a connection, though!

I meant for the skunk.

Abigail: Let's roleplay. I'll be the homeowner, you be the home invader.
Clay: That's not roleplay at all.
Abigail: Sure it is! I'll roleplay someone who wouldn't distintegrate a burglar, and you roleplay someone who would have half a chance of stealing something from me.

Clay: You are dangerously sexy, woman.
Abigail: And you don't even know about the taser I keep under my tongue!

Clay: Yeeeeeeouch! That's something I never knew I needed until I had it.

William: Stand down, Captain Sparkles. The operation's been cancelled.

Clay: I have a nickname for my penis, too!
Abigail: I'm gonna... guess... "Crowbar."
Clay: Shit, that one's way better.

Clay: I was just calling it "Rapenabler."

Abigail: As a compound word, at least, it's not terrible.

Abigail: But if it enables any rapes, I'm gonna rename it "Bloodfountain."

Clay: Suddenly I'm not feeling it anymore.

Abigail: You're the one who brought up rape.
Clay: Everyone's got a fetish!

Abigail: Mine's control.
Clay: I definitely didn't know vaginas could clench like that.

Abigail: You should see what I can do with my teeth.

Clay: I think I'm willing to chance that.

Abigail: I'm not much on sausages anyway.

Clay: Funny thing; me either.

Clay: Do you do this often?
Abigail: No, but I'm a scientist. I've looked up the theory.

William: It's called reconnaissance and I'm not going to apologize for it.

Abigail: Make yourself comfortable.
Clay: This dangly thing is getting in the way. Got a pouch I can stuff it in?

I'll let you imagine what happened.

Abigail: It'll probably compare favourably to reality.

I dunno. Sometimes I feel like reality suffers in comparison to you.

Clay: Yeah, she's really hot and all, but she doesn't have those little flaws that make a girl truly beautiful.
Abigail: I know, I'm trying to collect a few. Dating you should be a good start.

Clay: I love a girl who talks dirty!
Abigail: I was just straight up insulting you!
Clay: It's a fine line!

Abigail: Careful, you'll set off my fire breathing implant!
Clay: You have a fire-breathing implant?!
Abigail: A girl's got to have some secrets, right?

Clay: Especially when her boyfriend steals babies for the black market in stolen babies.

William: Hey, everyone needs a hobby.

Clay: Oh, that's just my job. My hobbies are much worse.

Abigail: All hobbies are.

Abigail: They just can't compete with underwear science.

Nothing competes with underwear science.

Next time: same shit, different day.

See you Friday!


( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 1st, 2014 12:19 pm (UTC)
*slow clap* Bravo.
Apr. 3rd, 2014 12:07 am (UTC)
Apr. 1st, 2014 12:35 pm (UTC)
Apr. 3rd, 2014 12:07 am (UTC)
The most painful thing on Earth.
Apr. 4th, 2014 02:18 pm (UTC)
Now it all makes sense. Only in an even less explainable way.
Apr. 1st, 2014 05:47 pm (UTC)
This made me do a real German "Was?!"

This must have taken ages. That's amazing (that anyone can stand the sims 1 for so long...)

Tell me, did you fill it with a bunch of TS2 themed CC or did they remake a load of items that I just don't remember from the old game?
Apr. 3rd, 2014 12:05 am (UTC)
*deep breath*

I've wanted to do this for years, so I wasn't missing my chance this time. I own all of TS1 except Makin' Magic, so I knew it was practical.

I looked for a relatively short chapter that lacked too many teens, any toddlers, too many community lots, and too much custom content wackiness. 111 looked likely, so I figured out how many Tuesday updates I'd need to make in order to land 111 on April Fools Day, which to my joy was also a Tuesday. Then I went through and wrote the whole chapter using the TS2 images, to see which ones wouldn't make the cut. Once I'd determined what I needed to replicate, I set to work.

I took all the floors and walls for the house and the convenience store out of TS2 using HomeCrafter Plus, converted them to 8-bit, and put them into TS1 using HomeCrafter. Then I rebuilt both lots in TS1 from reference images.

I downloaded as many objects from the internet as I could find that resembled the things not present in TS1.
I recoloured all of that CC, and the Maxis content, to match my TS2 game as closely as possible using Photoshop and The Sims Transmogrifier.

I took screenshots of all the paintings on the walls in the convenience store and skewed them to match the picture frames in TS1. I also made new wallpaper tiles for the lot numbers and the paintings that wouldn't fit in frames, like that stupid fucking muffin thing.

I extracted all the skins for the Sims in this chapter from TS2 using Body Shop, reconfigured them in Photoshop to match the different skin mapping, converted them to 8-bit and imported them into TS1 using The Sims Creator which came with Double Deluxe. I also customized faces for each Sim.

Most of the Sims are not actually present in the scenes depicted. They're acting out various things on a "blue screen," a solid blue floor tile. I removed the blue and pasted them into the relevant scenes. Sometimes I modified the sprites, like moving limbs around etc. All the thought balloons and their contents were added in Photoshop. The porn images were made by creating a nude skin in The Sims Creator for each Sim and having them pet a dog on a blue screen (no, seriously).

Various things that I couldn't modify at the sprite level (because Transmogrifier is old and crashes too much) were altered in post-production in Photoshop. The bed is one example.

That fucking railing around the porches on Abigail's house took ages to fake.

I took two things right from TS2: the ant farm and the car. I got the camera angle roughly right, bluescreened them (both games have that wonderful bluescreen floor tile) and converted them to 8-bit in Photoshop to get the right lo-res look.

The convenience store images are almost entirely faked. None of the Sims were really there. The counters, vending machines, grocery aisles, clothing rack, mailboxes, chairs, tables, and bar are all added in Photoshop. Even the cashier's hat is fake.

There's a lot of image fudging; doors don't stay open long enough in TS1 to be visibly open when a Sim walks through them, it's impossible to co-ordinate two or more Sims because they defiantly rotate in place with their hands on their asses for ten seconds before doing anything you tell them to do, and TS1 turns on all the lights in an occupied room even in the daytime - while my TS2 images obviously feature the opposite.

I always crop the outlying edges of thought balloons and headlines from my TS2 images, so they're always of varying height. I duly cropped the TS1 ones to match.

The "newspaper" is done in the style of the entertainment reports your Sims can read in Superstar. The neighbourhood you can see behind the title image is Old Town from The Sims Unleashed. I even remade my current userpic in TS1, which was a last-minute afterthought.

In short, I've never spent that much time and effort on a real chapter. It took ages.

On Friday you can see how well I did.

Here's a before-and-after comparison to show you how ridiculously altered these images are:

Before and After.

Edited at 2014-04-03 12:06 am (UTC)
Apr. 4th, 2014 02:17 pm (UTC)
Now I realise how much I had underestimated your.. talents? insanity? er.. dedication? I'm not sure what exactly, but, you know :D
I mean, holy sit.
Apr. 10th, 2014 10:42 pm (UTC)
I'd love to holy sit, but I can't source pews cheaply.

Thanks though :P
Apr. 11th, 2014 10:32 am (UTC)
I'm a foreigner! How dare you make fun of my spelling mistakes! You're supposed to encourage me and pretend to be amazed by how well I know your language!
For your penance, you now have to enter the first church (or whatever superstition celebrating building you may favour) and HOLY SIT a minute or two (or more if you enjoy it!)
Apr. 4th, 2014 06:21 pm (UTC)
Holy crap. That is completely freaking insane and also awe inspiring and, just, guhhhhh.

I have to read it again. If anything just to figure out how the fuck dog stroking = sex positions?!
Apr. 10th, 2014 10:43 pm (UTC)
I'll probably show how in an interlude sometime.
Apr. 3rd, 2014 05:48 pm (UTC)
I don't care that I'm several days late actually reading this, I have to congratulate you for this. It's seriously amazing.
Apr. 4th, 2014 03:03 am (UTC)
Thank you. It should be, because it was seriously impossible.
Apr. 3rd, 2014 06:28 pm (UTC)
Oh dude -- this was EPIC. XD Especially since I showed up to read it late enough to get the explanation as to how it was done, no less. The effort you put into this -- it's incredible. I applaud you, I really do. And it honestly brings back a few fond memories of my own early Sim-playing days. (Interestingly, the one expansion you lack, Makin' Magic, was one of the first I started with.)

Also, they had better names for some of their silly shit back in the day, didn't they? *is referring specifically to the skunk*
Apr. 4th, 2014 03:02 am (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it. I am proud of it, and never want to see it again. TS1 can go to hell.

I am way more enamoured of Henri le Stanc, yes.
Apr. 5th, 2014 02:02 pm (UTC)
*snork* I suppose I can't blame you. Talk about effort. . .and TS1 is such a dinosaur compared to the new stuff, isn't it? I can't even comprehend Sims without Wants now.

Why couldn't they bring that name forward with the new generation? Would have been cute.
Apr. 10th, 2014 10:47 pm (UTC)
If I recall correctly, the last straw for my old old computer was that it couldn't run TS2 playably, but it could run it enough to make me never able to play TS1 again.

Apr. 11th, 2014 10:21 pm (UTC)
*snork* Interesting dynamic there. Farewell, annoying old computer!

Tell me about it. *shakes head at EAxis*
Apr. 4th, 2014 09:04 am (UTC)
Bloody Hell ! I am truly astounded at the amount of work you put into this.
Also this may be the greatest line ever - Have fun watching your wife breastfeed with milk made from your parents.

Hats off to you sir !
Apr. 10th, 2014 10:39 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it, because otherwise I wasted all the time the world has ever contained on nothing.
Apr. 17th, 2014 04:42 am (UTC)
Oh em gee. You are brilliant! And insane. Holy frijoles, that is some crazy dedication to take all the time to do that! I was given TS1 long after I'd gotten into TS2, it was a free game that came with my mom's computer... I played it exactly twice. So, no expansions or anything. It was just so basic. I guess that's how TS3 players would feel about TS2 if they'd never played it! (though I heard the changes between 1 and 2 are huuuuuuuuuuge compared to 2 and 3)

Teehee, I love how blonde!Abigail is totally giving you the finger in that first blonde shot of her :)

So you didn't actually have some kind of nude mod for TS1, that is incredible.

And now all your recent updating makes sense!!!
Apr. 27th, 2014 05:32 pm (UTC)
You mean if a TS3 player had never played TS2, and then bought it with no expansions and played it? No, they'd think "Why does this game seem newer than TS3" and "Where did all these features go?" and "Where are my scissors to cut my TS3 discs into little fucking pieces." TS3 is like TS2 for imbeciles.

That pretty much sums up our relationship.

I thought so.

Dammit! I hate making sense.
May. 10th, 2014 04:37 am (UTC)
Surely TS3 can't be THAT bad! It looks like you can have a greater variety of Sims, like fat Sims who are actually fat? Precious!
May. 16th, 2014 03:14 am (UTC)
A man comes up to you. He says "Good news! I have a new house for you. You can change the colour of its walls on a whim! Only catch: it has no windows, it has no furniture, it doesn't look half as good as your current house, horrible things will happen there when you're not looking, and you can't leave. Instead of doing fun things in your house, I'll send you a note every once in a while telling you that fun things happened. Katy Perry will live there with you."

Then he asks for like three hundred bucks to replace your old house with this new house.

And the new house also spies on you for a sports sim company.

Edited at 2014-05-16 03:15 am (UTC)
Jun. 11th, 2014 04:55 am (UTC)
Lolz well when you describe it like that....and what's this about Sims4??? Already? Why don't they keep fixing/expanding Sims3 for a while so I can keep playing Sims2 and not feel threatened by getting sooooooooo behind the cool kids? Pfffft.

One of my former Facebook friends absolutely loved Sims3 and used to try to talk me into getting it. So it can't be ALL bad... or maybe she's just a nutjob!
Jul. 11th, 2014 12:03 am (UTC)
None of the cool kids ever switched to TS3. It's an affront against man and woman.

Edited at 2014-07-11 12:03 am (UTC)
( 27 comments — Leave a comment )