Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday every week!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Pine Valley: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Finally, a week of more-or-less on-time updates!
I MADE ALL THIS.
Rosemarie: The game generated me.
Okay, but I made everything else.
Rosemarie: None of the custom content you've made appears in this shot.
...well okay, but I arranged all of it.
Rosemarie: You want a medal, Mr. Set Director?
Stewart: You can kind of take credit for me, if you want.
Okay, so apparently the lot reset for some reason.
Harmony: Naw, we just all forgot what we were doing at the same time.
It's not like this at all.
Except for the pot in the dorm. That's legit.
Rosemarie: Alright, cool, statue time's over.
Coy: But statue time is the only time I understand!
Andrzej: GASP! Naked woman! Why are you in public, and not in my room?
Andrzej: You want a hit, lady?
Margaret: You're huffing your own hand, Andrzej.
Andrzej: I put a lot of chemicals on it. Especially at night.
Stewart: Whoah! New uniforms! I like.
Harmony: The Dean of Theology suggested them.
Andrzej: I need to source handcuffs. The wimmins keep escaping from my bed.
Margaret: Have you tried calling the police and explaining your problem? I bet they could set you up.
Jewel: Man, have you guys tried just huffing your hands?! Doesn't work at all.
Ladies and gentlemen, the future.
Whoah there sport, don't strain yourself.
Stewart: An aspiring magician needs to be limber.
So you're not just checking out Rosemarie's ass, then.
Stewart: Not just, no.
Stewart: Do you know "YMCA"?
Brooke: Yes, but I'm pretending not to know you.
Stewart: That's all I remember.
Celeste: I DARE YOU.
I swear they're doing this on their own, it's not some perverted fantasy of mine.
I mean, I have one that fits this nicely, but I'm not actively pursuing it.
Harmony: Wait, I forget... is it clothes or nudity that's socially unacceptable?
Harmony: It's nudity, isn't it?
Pamela: I hope so, or boy are my nipples red! Not that you could see that, because I'm wearing clothing.
Harmony: What're you doing?
Pamela: Taking a mental image of your clothes so I can imagine you're wearing them next time this happens.
Stewart: Dammit, don't talk the cheerleaders out of nudity!
Your boyfriend is a stooge.
Margaret: Boyfriend? I think he's dating that redheaded stick twit.
Well, he does constantly stop and stare at her, but then again, so does Andrzej.
Andrzej: I'm scoping out her wrist size.
Do they make infant handcuffs?
I can't Google it, because jail.
So, how's university?
Rosemarie: University is great. I'm really going places!
Rosemarie: But not this place, apparently.
Romeo: PFF EDUCATION
Jewel: Assault is a crime, Pamela.
Pamela: It's only macaroni, Jewel. Wipe it off.
August McNulty: The Saddest Stoner.
I built in some ventilation for the bubbles.
BECAUSE YEAH I THINK ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT.
We sure do get a lot of visitors to the nothing up here.
Maybe she's going to huff some second-hand bubbles from the vent?
That's what I imagine most cheerleaders are thinking at any given time.
August McNulty: The Happiest Stoner.
Rosemarie: Dear Diary: Today I was better than Margaret. How I long for a change from that tired old routine!
Margaret: Hey August, ask Rosemarie what happened to her driver's license.
Rosemarie: HEY AUGUST NO
Rosemarie: The cops make such a big deal out of vehicular homicide.
Those masks represent how we feel about Rosemarie running his brother over.
Guess which one is mine.
Margaret: I bet I know. And I bet the plusses are yours, too.
You can't see it, but I'm tapping my nose knowingly.
Stewart: Alright, it's Do-it-Yourself Family Day today.
Excited to meet Stewart's family?
Margaret: What's a family?
Stewart: It would be great if you guys could come! There's pot bubbles and naked cheerleaders for dad and even food! Sometimes on fire.
Abigail: Remember that time you burned the very first meal ever cooked in Pine Valley?
Stephen: Remember the names of all eight of our kids?
Abigail: There are not eight! Are there?
Abigail: There was the gay one, and there's a tweed one, and at least one girl, and then they all bleed together. Which one are we visiting?
Stephen: The one who wants to be a magician.
Abigail: Oh, we had a failure too?
Kiera: Hey handsome.
Stephen: Don't talk to me with that hair.
Abigail: Hey stupid.
Abigail: Oh, is that your name? I thought it was Francis or something.
Andrew: Taste my new edible beard! It's in case I get trapped in my office by genetically-enhanced monkeys. Again.
Andrew: Well, look at you! All decked out in your shittiest clothes, with the shittiest haircut no money could buy!
Stewart: Sometimes I wish you'd died instead of the gay one and the at least one girl.
Andrew: I'm just kidding, Stewart. I'm really proud of you.
Stewart: You are?
Andrew: Yeah! You're going behind two different girls' backs! That's my brother!
Stewart: Oh god, dad's gonna mack on one of them.
Kiera: If your dad is Stephen Murphy, he's probably already macked on both of them.
Stewart: Hi dad! What're you doing up here?
Stephen: I heard giggling.
Stephen: It smells like a bubble blower up here and there's birds rolling around on the roof, flapping their wings upside-down.
Andrew: That's applied science for you.
Stephen: So, you may mark off one woman in this building as off-limits.
Stewart: What if I want... two?
Stephen: Then I hope you came armed.
Abigail: Wow, he wasn't even kidding about the food.
Abigail: There's no way he's dating any of these.
Andrew: Pretty sure we've got the same Turn-Ons, in which case I think you may be wrong, mom.
Andrew: So can anyone dance, or do we all need that same haircut?
Abigail: So Andrew thinks you're dating the honey blonde. Personally I think it's impossible.
Stewart: She has... kind of a thing for me, it's true.
Margaret: WHO IS THAT BEARDED ANGEL
Abigail: I KNOW RIGHT
Rosemarie: Target acquired.
Stephen: So I asked my son which woman he was dating.
Rosemarie: Your life sounds so thrilling.
Rosemarie: Okay okay I was playing hard to get you asshole.
Stephen: How did a hot young thing like you get mixed up with the dull brown bore?
Abigail: If you're wondering, my lungs are coated with a substance that turns this stuff into food.
I wasn't wondering.
But hey, recreational drugs that relieve the munchies. That's new.
Rosemarie: Fine, go ahead, tell me how he wouldn't let you touch me but you knew you couldn't keep your word once you saw my deep blue eyes.
Stephen: Yeah, he... didn't pick you. But your eyes are nice, for sure.
Margaret: Why the hell are you naked?
Pamela: Because the hottest dad ever is here and some of us aren't on the no-fly list.
Margaret: You need more something in your diet, Pamela.
Jewel: Hey guys! Sure looks like not this bearded dude over here!
Rosemarie: Okay, so he picked his big-assed blonde friend instead. That doesn't mean anything. He's just protecting her 'cuz he thinks she's innocent but he knows I wouldn't cheat on him.
Stephen: Sorry, can you hold that thought? I can't think straight while I'm watching my son take a shit.
Abigail: Stephen made you choose, huh.
Stewart: Was he always this much of a jerk?
Abigail: Not until his character got established, no.
Rosemarie: WHO WANTS TO DATE ROSEMARIE LANDCHILD
Margaret: Are you running to the bathroom?
Stephen: It has the nearest window!
Stephen: Looks like it's just you and me, red.
Rosemarie: Yeah, so I'm assuming you killed all the other dudes.
Rosemarie: Or maybe they're gay.
Stephen: Or maybe they like someone else better.
Rosemarie: Pretty sure that's the same as being gay.
Rosemarie: ...he seriously picked Margaret?
Stephen: It would have been more fun seducing you if he hadn't, I'll admit.
Andrew: Hey baby.
Margaret: Can I pick one of you out from a lineup, or something?
Andrew: You'd better jump on this chick before literally all of us beat you to her.
Andrew: Good luck, Stew. I firmly believe that you can be the second Murphy child to live to adulthood.
Stewart: Aw, thanks Andrew.
Andrew: I'm just acknowledging possibility, though. You're probably doomed.
Rosemarie: Hey sugar, read my thought balloon.
Stewart: Thanks for coming, mom.
Abigail: It was nice meeting you!
Stephen: I'd like to go back to Twikkii Island some day. My first wife and I went on our honeymoon there.
Rosemarie: Bet you spent the whole time in your hotel room, enh?
Stephen: No, Abigail's one of those awful Knowledge Sim types. She actually wanted to see the place, for some damn reason.
Stephen: Be right back, I need to use the facilities.
Stephen: BUT THIS I DO NOT NEED
Stewart: I am going to rub that memory out!
Stephen: The essence of dance is a good pucker.
Stephen: Funky up your face and the rest will follow.
Rosemarie: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard that has actually worked.
Stephen: I'll show you how I learned this position later.
Rosemarie: I can do you one better.
Stewart: Sometimes, Stewart, you do make the right choices.
Rosemarie: Excellent, he's already judged us.
Rosemarie: Let's do something to earn it now.
Stephen: Tickling in public! How risqué!
Stephen: Just so we're clear, you're the chick who ran over Leonard, right?
Rosemarie: It was an accident.
Stephen: I believe you! It's just that, well, he's my son, and I love him, but I knew him very well and would totally understand.
Andrzej: I didn't know you were a cheerleader, Pamela!
Dreaming about Margaret again, I see.
Stewart: Ha ha.
Or maybe Margaret and your da-
Stewart: FUCK OFF
Pamela: Just so we're clear, I'm out of the running, right?
Rosemarie: So if you're gonna hang around here, fair warning: don't walk too close to the kitchen counters.
Rosemarie: One time I caught Celeste microwaving foiled potatoes.
Coy: And the worst part is, she brought that microwave in from home.
Stephen: I like your room!
Rosemarie: THEN LIKE ME ALL OVER IT.
Stephen: You don't feel bad?
Rosemarie: About what?
Rosemarie: Hey, he's not MY son.
Stephen: You have got to let me photograph you sometimes.
Rosemarie: I think you mean "some time."
Stephen: No, sometimes. I want to make you come more than once.
Rosemarie: YOU ALREADY HAVE.
Rosemarie: Fada soola gor!
Stephen: Fada soola bron!
Rosemarie: I forget the middle part.
Stephen and Rosemarie: Gerbitz! Gerbitz!
Stephen: Vo Gerbitz.
Rosemarie: Fuckin' right.
Stephen: Yeah, no, we're done here.
Stephen: My self-esteem won't let me date a woman who takes this long to woo.
Stephen: You're making me think I compare badly to Stewart, and if you think about that for a second, you'll see why I'm upset.
Rosemarie: But he isn't even interested in me anymore! Even though we're engaged.
Stephen: Don't fill my head up with your meaningless plot details! I have meaningless plot details of my own.
In fact, everyone does.
Rosemarie: Another time, then.
Stephen: Only if you improve your putting-out rate.
Rosemarie: Man, you are such an asshole!
Stephen: See where he gets it from?
Rosemarie: I'm sorry about Leonard.
Stewart: Hey, did my dad leave?
Margaret: No, he's... in Rosemarie's room, I think.
Stewart: Oh, good. I mean, oh, darn.
Margaret: So, about how your dad wasn't hitting on me.
Stewart: Maybe he thinks you're ugly?
Rosemarie: I thought you were leaving.
Stephen: I thought I was too.
Stephen: Look at me, one foot out the door.
Stewart: Trust dad to turn this into a privates school.
Margaret: Where you headed?
Stewart: Gonna go crash the game.
Margaret: Okay, see you in an hour!
Jewel: How dare you leave your poor innocent fiancé in the clutches of that lecherous monster.
Stewart: If he gives her any trouble she can just run him over with her car.
Margaret: I could come with you! To the game crashing.
Stewart: But you wouldn't remember it afterward.
Margaret: The Maker could show me the pics and tell me if it was a good idea or not.
I'd just keep taking pics of your see-through dress, so no dice.
Stephen: Did someone say "see-through dress"?
I could do you one better.
Rosemarie: I bet he could do me better than you, though.
In her bid for playable status, Margaret tries to set up a potential extramarital romance.
She knows what's what.
Valerie Enriquez: Hey there, transparent dude! Can you help us? Our windows have turned into walls mostly.
Valerie: The last person we asked just made a bunch of Lil' Jon jokes.
Daisy: I would never have done something that evil.
Daisy: I'm in more of a body horror mood anyway.
NUKE IT FROM ORBIT.
It's the only way to be quoted repeatedly for twenty years.
Valerie: Honestly, I'm just avoiding that Daisy chick. She kinda super freaks me out.
Stewart: Maybe I'm in the mood for a superfreak.
Daisy: Don't mind me, I'm just famous and allowed back here.
Pierce: The autograph line starts up your ass, buddy.
Stewart: I don't think we've met.
Daisy: I think I'd remember someone so unmemorable.
Stewart: I've watched every episode of your show! I especially liked the ones where you murdered two of my brothers and both of my sisters.
Fucking hell Grugly, what're you doing back there.
Daisy: Sorry Stuart, but if he's gonna get arty with his camera angles I'm gonna need a contract.
Stewart: It's Stewart. Don't think I can't hear you spelling it wrong.
Esther: So hey, if you're free later...
Stewart: Don't talk, featureless mannequin.
Clay: Yessss. Judge them solely based on their appearance. I like you.
Daisy: I thought I'd killed all the Murphy kids. In the show, I mean. Where I play that serial killer. The one who isn't really me.
Esther: I think this is one of the newer ones. They didn't get the chance to go all braaaiiiinns.
Daisy: I can see the lack of brains, for sure.
I can't remember the last time I set Ms. Crumplebottom off.
She might even have died by the time I'm at.
Harmony: MMM AMBIVALENCE
Rosemarie: I DON'T WANNA KISS A CHEERLEADER
You don't have to, the Kickstarter didn't go through.
Margaret: So Stewart tells me you're an artist! What kind of things do you paint?
Stephen: Nipples. Nipples kinds of things.
Rosemarie: Sign me up!
Rosemarie: Hey sport, you sure do have a lot of you going on there.
Garfield Franz: She noticed!
Stephen: It's all very tasteful. And hot.
Stephen: People shouldn't be so loose with the slapping.
Harmony: I am prepared to be loose with the slap-slap-slapping!
Stephen: I'm a Family Sim. Hahaha!
Stephen: Hahaha! But no really, it's fucked up.
Stephen: I've decided that the way to be the best Family Sim possible is to marry every woman in the neighbourhood. Pending sexual evaluation, of course.
Harmony: Of course!
Erin: Oh, wow! This place is way nicer than MNU.
Rosemarie: That's because we only accept people who don't pee themselves here. You'd be surprised how much that raises the general tone.
Lucy: Hey, crotchface! Long time no smell!
Lucy: She's like a walking memory of every public restroom I've ever been in.
Rosemarie: I'd like to buy a better body type, please.
Every time this happens I check ahead to see if it becomes relevant and is worth including.
Except this time.
Let's chalk it up to variety, laziness sounds so pejorative.
Asia: My god, what have we done.
Erin: You've done goooood.
I was about to say "Come on, let's see it from the front!
But suddenly that doesn't seem as important.
Holy shit! New hair!
By which I mean "Holy shit! The hair you've had in my game for like three years."
Sometimes I wonder if I'm actively trying to torture myself.
The rest of the time, I just wonder why I wonder.
Hey, what do you know. It came up heads.
Oh! Nope. Tails.
Rosemarie: I see what you did there. And what he's doing there.
Stewart: I need to get blinds.
I couldn't disagree more.
Stephen: I think I figured out the difference between university and college.
Very funny, but this is a university too.
Stephen: Then apparently mine sucked.
Coy: Man, I can feel how good you look.
Yeah, this isn't healthy.
August: SOMEBODY TEACH ME A PICKUP LINE
Harmony: Don't look now, firecrotch bought a new outfit.
Stephen: I really shouldn't look, I only brought the one extra pair of underwear.
I see this change of appearance presages a wider growth in overall maturity.
Stephen: You can give a horse new shoes, but you can't make her trot.
Jewel: CLOTHING JOKES
Rosemarie: I'll trot when I want to.
Rosemarie: Which is now.
Rosemarie: OW yeah! EEEESH! Oof! Man, this was easier in a loose dress.
August: I THINK THAT'S JUST A PAINTING OF PANTS
August: Hey fo shizzle what's the drizzle.
Cheryl: Ohmygosh, are you black? I've never met a black person before!
Margaret: If he doesn't take me with him when he graduates, I'm taking him with me when I die.
Stewart: Sounds like true love to me!
No surprise there, considering her options.
Rosemarie: I'm showing off. Why isn't anyone paying attention!
Celeste: Pretty sure only one of your talents is interesting to them, red.
I dunno, they look like a pretty easily-impressed bunch.
Brooke: Look at him go! Puffin' the bubbles! Flyin' high!
Brooke: Kickin' me in the face!
August: Do you ever think there might be more to life than this?
Pamela: Only in my darkest moments.
Writing your term paper?
Rosemarie: Propositioning the prof. Takes less time.
Stewart: WHAT DOES THIS HAND SIGNAL MEAN
Stewart: SOMEBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN IT TO ME
Rosemarie: It means "I haven't showered in weeks."
Stewart: Alright everybody, your Simlish lesson for today is "house." That's what that sign over there says.
It says "Student Residence." Simlish doesn't look all that different from English.
Stewart: ...shit, I'm illiterate.
Patting yourself on the back?
Rosemarie: Removing my shirt. Skyping with the prof.
Running to your exam?
Rosemarie: No, running to buy a cucumber. Man this guy's a hard sell!
Margaret: What're you looking for?
Brooke: A university with a llama mascot. Where did you come from?
Margaret: Oh good, it's Missed Connection time again.
Stewart: Nope. Wanna go out with me?
Margaret: Can I rub it in Rosemarie's face first?
Only if you do it in a tub full of Jell-O.
Next time: more university.
BECAUSE EACH YEAR IS SIX DAYS LONG, THAT'S WHY.