Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday every week!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Pine Valley: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
I ate too much cheese.
I've really enjoyed seeing you again, Zombie Queen. I've missed you terribly.
Zombie Queen: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
Neila: Everything dies!
Victor: Mommy eats them!
Neila: Or daddy shoots them!
Victor: Or mommy eats them then daddy shoots them!
Zombie Queen: PRETTY SURE I'M SAFE FROM THAT
Neila: Everything dies.
...and this is how?
Oh! Cool! There's a mysterious clippy hellscape behind the mirrors!
Good to know.
William: Maybe I shouldn't sleep next to this picture of Chelsea anymore.
William: THOUGHT BALLOONS CAN'T TALK
If they could, Melanie's would be screaming.
Not that there isn't enough horror going on here as it is.
William: You take too long to fetch me stuff. It's walking time.
Neila: I'M GONNA WALK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU
William: ...what? What did you say?
William: Hahaha I'm totally paying attention to you.
FRIDAY: TRY FUCKING MY ROBOT WIFE ON YOUR GARBAGE CAN NOW
FRIDAY: God, I sound ridiculous.
William: C'mon, Neila. Dudes dig the Moonwalk!
Neila: Gay dudes maybe.
William: Well, you might need to befriend some gay dudes! Since befriending straight ones is impossible.
Zombie Queen: CAN WE GET BACK TO MY IMPENDING DEATH
Zombie Queens never die, they just grow dull.
William: Come on, woman! Suck it up already.
William: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE
Brooke: What's it like inside?
Mayhew: Any other house, really.
Brooke: No, I mean... inside. Being inside. What's that like?
William: Alright! That's my girl! Show gravity what you're made of!
William: AND I'LL SHOW IT WHO'S BOSS!
William: Finally! Glad we put that to bed oh my god not more.
Mayhew: Where are all those images coming from?
Mayhew: Tests for what.
Mayhew: But will I want to?
William: If I stare at my family long enough I can almost stop imagining Andrew's wife naked.
William: Suddenly I can't even picture mine.
Mayhew: Is expensive ruined food better than perfect cheap food?
Mayhew: I'm gonna assume yes.
Neila: Pop it in here and I'll tell them it came out of me.
William: EVERYTHING IS A DOUBLE ENTRENDRE TODAY
...Melanie just got a Good Reputation.
Melanie: The world is moving on, honey!
William: The world is stupid.
Pretty sure nobody's forgetting who you are, Melanie.
William: Except me.
Melanie: Did this come out of a baby's butt or something?!
William: Hey, anybody want to come look at the new tower they named after me?
Mayhew: They named it after your mom.
William: That's the worst "your mom" joke I've ever heard.
Melanie: I hear you were working on FRIDAY's car the other day!
Melanie: Maybe you should do something similar with ours!
William: You're killing me here, Melanie. And not the way you usually do.
Dude, put some skin on, it's freezing out here.
Melanie: Want some help washing up?
William: Mmm. Washing.
Melanie: It's nice doing stuff together again, with nobody coming between us.
William: The only stuff we used to do together was kill people.
Melanie: I miss that.
William: Yeah! Sure! Okay!
William: I'll just pick this up and GODDAMMIT
William: GODDAMMIT GODDAMMIT GODDAMMIT
Charles: Is that how you say hello in this time period?
Charles: Hey man, pimpin' ride!
William: IF IT IS I DIDN'T PIMP IT
William: ...wow. I didn't know I could use those balloons to block out ugly people!
Charles: It's what makes most marriages last past fifty!
William: ...who the fuck are you, anyway.
Charles: More like who the fuck is this guy. Over my head. In the balloon.
William: Get off my lawn before my wife sees you and wants that haircut.
Melanie: It's a really great haircut.
Melanie: Does it come in pink?
Charles: It's so cold out here.
Melanie: You're not in a dress.
Melanie: I hope!
Melanie: It's been fun, Zombie Queen.
Zombie Queen: NO DON'T KILL ME
Neila: Everything dies!
Mayhew: You're leaving.
Melanie: How did you know?
Mayhew: I heard you talking to Daisy on the phone the other day. Oh, and I can read your Action Queue.
Charles: Hey Mr. Sharpe! Mind if I send all your money to ENTROPY? No? Okay!
Gretchen Barrett: You put our name on there in all caps, right? You wouldn't believe how much of our mail goes to the principle governing disorder in thermodynamic systems.
Charles: How come everyone's a secret agent but me.
They need someone to keep it a secret from?
What're you doing?
Melanie: Erasing all his porn. Just out of spite.
Mayhew: Even I wouldn't go that far, and I'm a secret agent!
Charles: Wait here, the Zombie Queen is coming.
Blazej: That's not as appealing as you seem to think it is.
Melanie: Take care of yourself, Zombie Queen.
Zombie Queen: You can't leave! You're my namesake! They'll starve me just to spite you!
Melanie: Please don't starve my parrot.
Mayhew: Hey, everything dies.
Melanie: Usually because of me.
Melanie: It's been fun, William.
Except for the times he killed you, or the times you killed his parents, or the times you started a state-wide panic and a zombie pandemic?
Melanie: Those were all the fun parts.
Mayhew: WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR LUGGAGE
Mayhew: I'M AN EXPERT MARKSMAN
Victor: Try getting it in my mouth from behind.
Zombie Queen: That's what she said! SQUAWK!
Zombie Queen: I'm getting out of here before that monster kills me!
Zombie Queen: This plan... may have been... premature.
Zombie Queen: So... cold... so... cold... I... hate...
Zombie Queen: ...irony.
Victor: Everything dies!
And we're fresh out of Zombie Queens.
Mayhew: You call this fresh?!
Mayhew: I'm starting to think that bird really was eating other birds.
Victor: The circle of life!
Neila: DON'T KILL ME LIKE YOU KILLED ZOMBIE QUEEN
Mayhew: Of course not! Drowning is completely different from freezing.
Mayhew: We could try starving you to death, though!
Neila: How would that work?
Mayhew: Can toddlers do stairs?
Jane: I can't believe we did that in your car!
William: While I was driving, even!
You blew him while he was driving?
William: Hell no, I don't play with amateurs. I jerked off and she watched me.
William: In other news, second-floor bedroom spa.
Mayhew: Yeah, I was wondering where that came from.
William: My dreams, all fucking day today.
Mayhew: Great, well, can I take off now that you're here?
William: Might as well, can't see you anyway.
Jane: This table feels wrong, like someone's fantasized about screwing on it.
William: I've fantasized about screwing on every damn surface in this house at some point. Mostly in the past eight hours.
Jane: Mmm. Wanna make your fantasies come true?
William: ARE YOU EVEN IN ONE OF THEM
William: Okay, sorry, no. Go home. If you're still here.
Victor: Why is my potty full of lobster.
William: Plug your ears, kids.
Neila: .oO(Like we need ears to talk.)
Victor: WHAT? WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
William: Melanie apparently left me and your husband hates me anyway. If you were serious yesterday, get your ass over here pronto.
Cameron: I was already halfway out the door.
William: I've always wanted to do this.
Cameron: We hardly know each other.
William: To Andrew's wife, I mean.
William: I've already covered "girlfriend" and "fiancé." I'm going for the BINGO now!
Cameron: My plan was to kiss you in front of him.
William: It was a pretty sexy plan.
Cameron: But that was at our house. This is yours.
William: Sexy, but doomed.
Cameron: Not if we scale it up a bit.
Next time: bow.
William: Chicka bow wow?
Cameron: You know it.