Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday every week!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Pine Valley: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
IT'S STILL TODAY TO ME.
Clay: Oh boy! Whatever this is!
Clay: Have a cheeseburger.
That looks like it's spelled wrong.
Oliver: Burger was a good choice.
Oliver: Hey, you powerless little buggers! Trapped in your habitat! Boy that must suck.
Meanwhile, Clay jerks off on the couch.
Clay: She won't let me do it on the bed.
Oliver: So it turns out you have to lock locks.
Oliver: Like, every time!
Oliver: It also turns out I'm still not dangerous at all.
If you attack that woman it will be the only time you've ever behaved like a zombie.
I'm willing to sacrifice her to see that.
Phoebe: ...I've forgotten what I'm supposed to do in this situation, so I'm gonna tentatively go with a wave.
Oliver: Feel my frustration, trash can!
Phoebe: Man, zombies are lame!
Phoebe: Aren't you supposed to be all "rar brains" and shit?
Oliver: If there was a memo, nobody CC'd me.
Oh god, don't let this be "monster discovers art."
It's too early for that Star Trek crap.
Oliver: What time is it where you are?
Seven in the morning.
Oliver: THERE'S A SEVEN IN THE MORNING?!
Oliver: With pain like that, you'd make an awesome artist.
I dunno about that.
Since this is my art.
And also I made you.
Oliver: Turns out zombies can't paint.
And vampires can't see their reflections!
Oliver: And werewolves never shed, which is bullshit.
Oliver: Not that I've noticed, no.
WORST ZOMBIE EVER
Oliver: There's scary, and then there's just rude.
Kaylynn: Nobody will believe me.
Aw, c'mon man!
I would love to see most of these people die.
A competent image.
I'll put it in the portfolio, with the other three.
...you're a what.
Abigail: It's an what, actually.
Abigail: Hello there, Brooke! It's time to earn your pay! Oh, hello there, Brooke's father. It's not what it sounds like.
Abigail: I want her to make my son a man, is all.
Brooke: Pretty sure I just got disowned.
Brooke: Next step: get disemboweled.
With this zombie, the best you're gonna get is disappointed.
Brooke: Hey Miss Y! Lookin' good!
Abigail: Stop that.
Oliver: I heard a girl. Where can I hide?
Abigail: Back where I found you.
Brooke: IS THIS THAT HUMAN THING YOU CALL SITTING
Abigail: Brooke! Come here! I want to make you look less stupid!
Brooke: I dunno, you're looking pretty stupid yourself right now.
Abigail: Looks can be deceiving.
Abigail: For example, you now look like a person.
She almost does!
Abigail: Okay, now come get eaten probably.
Brooke: I've sat in a chair, I've gotten a makeover, my life is complete.
Brooke: Wow! You didn't tell me he'd be hot!
Abigail: Lose the enthusiasm, I'm not paying you.
Abigail: People shouldn't go to their deaths so cheerfully.
Brooke: MORBID LADY NEEDS TO LEAVE
Oliver: Wow, really, mom? That's the best you could do?
Brooke: GET OUT I WANNA SHIT
Abigail: Sounds like it's going well in there.
Oliver: I dunno, I think the film version is far superior. I can't see Atticus Finch without seeing Gregory Peck!
Zombies. Sadistic masters of the blah blah blah running joke.
Brooke: Oh, let him blabber. He's getting me my university education!
Oliver: You do realize mom trapped you in this room, right?
Brooke: Knowing you exist, pal, I feel trapped on this planet.
Thanks for showing up, Clay.
Clay: I'm like that third Osbourne kid.
Oliver: I haven't even touched you yet.
Brooke: I know, but I accidentally pictured it.
Oliver: Look, we got off on the right foot.
Brooke: ...the wrong foot.
Oliver: Right! That's my right foot, it's so rotten I have to drag it. Anyway yeah! You're really cute! In all the ways that don't appeal to me.
Brooke: Aw, that's so sweet! Someone told you girls like honesty!
Brooke: AND YOU BELIEVED THEM
Brooke: What say we fake attraction, eh? For good ol' mum.
Oliver: Or I could EAT YOUR BRAINS
Brooke: Ahaha but could you.
Oliver: My brother is dating this chick! She seems really nice.
Do you want to tell him, or should I?
Oliver: I have an alternate idea.
Brooke: This is like the kiddie version of the Zombie Apocalypse!
With the worst gender-swapped Melanie and William ever.
I do like the gender role-appropriate pillows, though.
Abigail: They sound like they're really going at it in there. I'm a terrible person.
Listen to them, Artoo! They're dying!
Oliver: Can you make me a real boy, Brooke?
Brooke: Only if you can call me pretty without making you nose grow.
Brooke: Penis growing is fine.
Oliver: What's up?
Not much! My ear's itchy.
Oliver: I'm a zombie.
Nice talking to you.
Brooke: What's this?!
Oliver: It's a magic potion that lets you change your attraction modifiers.
Brooke: Why would I want to do that?
Oliver: It'll make me look less gross.
Brooke: That's so impossible it just might wo-or-ORK!
Oliver: Well? Did it? Am I the studliest stud off the stud farm?!
Brooke: I APPROVE OF YOUR HAIR COLOUR.
That's about all you can ask for, really.
Oliver: I still remember my last day of life. I was dating Cecilia, and she was mad at her step-mom.
Brooke: I've seen the TV series, I don't need to hear this.
Oliver: Who played Mrs. Sharpe? She was hot.
Brooke: A guy in drag, I think.
Oliver: I think I'm ready. I just needed someone to talk to.
Brooke: The world's changed a lot since you died.
Oliver: And it's so flattering that my death had nothing to do with any of it.
Oliver: Hey, maybe if this doesn't work, my second death will be meaningful!
If this doesn't work, I'm deleting your character file.
Oliver: BAD NEWS EVERYBODY
Oliver: I'M SEEING RED
Brooke: Hahaha what happened.
Oliver: Search me! I guess I'm zombier than your average zombie!
That would explain a lot. He's so zombie, it comes back around to being non-zombie.
Brooke: I can't manage attraction, but sympathy is an easy sell.
Oliver: Hey, whatever happened to the Sharpe sisters? I was dating one of them, and the other one was so mopey.
Brooke: Oh, funny story! They burned to death.
Oliver: That's private school for you.
Brooke: Aren't you private schooled?
Only private schooled kids make fun of other kids for being private schooled.
It's the only joke they teach them in private school.
Oliver: It's pretty charming how you're trying to help me here, Brooke.
Brooke: Yeah, who'd have thought you could offer a homeless orphan a future and get some sort of results from them?!
Brooke: Of course, being a playable means I'm almost guaranteed to die.
Oliver: Maybe you'll get resurrected, and a hot dude will nurse you back to health!
Brooke: And your nose didn't grow at all. Well done.
Oliver: Mmm... oh, Virginia, you're NOT VIRGINIA I'M SO SORRY.
Brooke: Sorry for what? She was smokin' hot.
Brooke: Heehee! It's almost like you've done this before!
Oliver: I just told you I had a girlfriend!
Brooke: And out of respect for you, I pretended not to hear.
Oliver: She was a lot like you, actually. Only less Maxis.
Brooke: Hey, this is a custom skintone! The only thing Maxis is my bone structure.
Oliver: You should be flattered that I'm looking that closely.
Brooke: Girls like attention. Not perception.
Brooke: But we also like it when guys screw up.
That certainly explains the otherwise inexplicable appeal of the Murphys.
Brooke: Fix your damn disease already.
Oliver: IT'S EITHER REALLY WORKING OR REALLY NOT
Brooke: Let me know when it's safe to look.
Oliver: LOOK HOW STRONG MY ONE FINGER IS
Brooke: Can't look because ants.
Brooke: RAR RAR RAR I'M A MONSTER
Oliver: Too soon, Brooke! Too soon.
Oliver: Seriously though, turn around already.
Oliver: BAM! My turn.
Brooke: He's not as hot when he's not dangerous.
He was never dangerous. Except mentally.
Brooke: I was kinda hoping he'd attack me.
Most people who meet him want to beat him up.
Brooke: WAIT WHAT
Brooke: WHAAAAAT the fuck.
Your Aspiration was all fucked up, so I aged you to childhood and back.
Brooke: I CAN SEE WHY YOU WOULDN'T THINK TO TELL ME FIRST
Brooke: Is he always this capricious?
Oliver: He let me die on my first date.
AT LEAST YOU GOT ONE
Matching winter clothes!
Brooke: Just don't give me a matching paunch.
Brooke: Okay, what was all that about.
Oliver: He was messing with stuff, and then decided not to save it and reloaded.
Brooke: Is he always this capricious?
Oliver: YOU SHOULD STILL REMEMBER MY ANSWER.
Oliver: People remembering what I say is a serious Turn-On.
I'm with you on that.
Brooke: Are you still coming on to me? I thought we were just getting you some Aspiration Points so the zombie juice didn't kill you.
Oliver: Hey, free redhead! I'm not stupid.
Brooke: You do at least have that going for you.
Brooke: I've never been on a date before.
Oliver: They're usually even worse than this.
Sound the alarm!
Clay: It's just me!
The Clay alarm!
Oliver: Hey, you have breasts.
Brooke: ♥ NOBODY'S EVER NOTICED BEFORE ♥
Uh-oh! Grugly discovered Unicode!
And Oliver discovered sexuality.
Oliver: SHE CAN SHARE MY ROOM.
Abigail: Chaperone time.
Abigail: Holy shit, kid! You did it!
Brooke: He just tickled me until all the grey fell off.
Abigail: Welcome to the family, Brooke.
Brooke: You wish.
Irfan: ...OH MY GOSH BROOKE WHAT'S IT LIKE IN THERE
Brooke: They have chairs.
Irfan: WHAT'S A CHAIR
Oliver: Can you introduce me to all your friends at school?
Brooke: If you help me make some.
Oliver: With this personality?
Oliver: This place hasn't changed much.
Hasn't it? I think it has!
I don't remember.
AND FUCK YOU TOO
Oliver: Nobody told me there were options.
Jill: For you, there aren't.
Brooke: Hey Brooke!
Brooke: How's it going, Brooke?
Asia: ONLY I KNOW WHICH IS WHICH
Oliver: You're still the hottest redhead yet!
Brooke: Feel free not to let me know when I'm surpassed.
Brooke Alioto: I want to meet someone new.
Brooke Alioto: I've already met you, though.
Brooke Alioto: I'm more looking for someone with a chance to make it to adulthood. I've been a teenager for FIFTY FUCKING YEARS.
Brooke: My mom got a genie to make her a teenager again.
Tucker Bachman: Did the genie also create this ruby-maned sex goddess for you?
Brooke: Call me.
Oliver: What do you think of my new girlfriend, guys?
Asia: We're all girls.
Oliver: Hahaha silly! NPCs don't have gender.
Brooke: It was nice knowing you, Oliver.
The Unsavoury Charlatan: She lies with such graceful ease! I must have her.
Oliver: They smashed my arm through the counter.
Asia: WITH OUR MINDS
Oliver: Did you see my girlfriend go by?
The Unsavoury Charlatan: I would be truly shocked if I had.
Oliver: You left without me!
Brooke: I wanted to see if you'd find your way back.
Oliver: I got you some flowers!
Brooke: You still can't have mine.
Abigail: I just want you to know that things don't have to change between us, now that I'm an exorcist.
Abigail: Unless I need to trap a slavering demon's soul inside your mortal husk and, in destroying you, defeat it. That might get weird.
Ooh, I like it! Now. So I hated it back then.
Oliver: Needs more sexy.
You should talk.
Brooke: I'm so sexy, music happens.
Clay: SO MANY HEARTS
Abigail: I told her we'd send her to university.
Clay: How can we afford that?!
Abigail: Um, easy? It doesn't cost anything?!
Clay: What is this, Norway?!
Clay: Seriously though, you left a living person in a room with that freak on the off chance he'd date her and not chow down on her brains?
Abigail: Oh, I'm sorry, is my science no good around here anymore?!
Brooke: I don't think science can completely explain what happened today.
I'm inclined to agree.
Oliver: Welcome to the gun show!
Let me take a few shots.
Brooke: Nice muscles, girly man.
Oliver: All the better to squeeze you with, my dear!
Brooke: I heard the best gossip about Cecilia Phelps yesterday.
Brooke: She got mad at her step-mom!
Oliver: You remembered what I said!
Brooke: I heard it was a Turn-On.
Oliver: LOBSTER FOR YOU.
♪ There lived a certain man, in Russia long ago ♪
♪ Calling occupants of interplanetary craft ♪
♪ Makin' your way in the world today takes everything you've got ♪
Brooke: DO YOUR WORST I CAN DANCE TO ANYTHING
♪ Through early morning fog I see, visions of the things to be ♪
Abigail: Well I think it turned out pretty well! She even kissed the little bugger!
Clay: I'm almost certain that was just an optical effect.
Lots of that going around lately.
Oliver: You and me, honey?
Brooke: In the absence of any compelling alternatives.
Oliver: Oh man, this is totally gonna be our song!
♪ Die motherfucker die ♪
Oliver: It's ironic.
Brooke: We hope.
Clay: I liked our life without kids.
Abigail: Thanks for the tip. How did it feel?
Next time: the pre-storm.
It'll be pretty calm.