Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday every week!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Pine Valley: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
I just discovered that I never finished Chapter 185.
HAVE CHAPTER 186 INSTEAD
IT'LL BE FINE
Getting younger by the minute.
Brooke: Make this face.
Brooke: No, like I'm doing. Prettier.
Clay: There's nothing wrong with my face, is there?
Abigail: Don't ask a geneticist about genetics if you don't want your heart broken.
Clay: I wasn't listening, but I assume the answer was "no."
Clay: Hey, pretty lady.
Oliver: SHE'S MINE
Brooke: Wow! Two different kinds of anachronistic chauvinism, both for me!
Oliver: Your chest bumps are nice.
Oliver: Clay's working on his chest bumps now.
Clay: ALL FOR YOU BABY
Got a name for your book yet?
Abigail: "The Science of Science."
That doesn't make any sense.
Abigail: Spoken like a non-scientist.
Abigail: I had to take an online course in Sciencology to write this. And there wasn't one, so I had to do some research and teach it to myself.
I'd be worried about accidentally getting a Scientology course.
Abigail: Yeah, that was a wasted month. Although the stuff about volcanoes and aliens was pretty cool.
Brooke: You can let go when he's gone.
Brooke: Seriously though, the things dudes do to get fit.
Oliver: I know, right?
Brooke: Do those things.
Oliver: OOH ME BACK
Brooke: Did it just notice your stomach?
Abigail: It's a real breakthrough, realizing nobody who reads your work is as smart as you.
Kelly: I get all my law information from the paper.
Ah, the "My Cousin Vinny" approach.
Brooke: WE'RE OUTSIDE NOW
Oliver: HAHAHA CRAZY
Brooke: All this rain feels like slobber down my neck.
Oliver: It's not all rain.
Brooke: Well, then, let's put that slobber to good use!
Oliver: Your lips taste like cherry.
Brooke: I made out with some ice cream earlier.
Brooke: I know, right?! Gold.
Oliver: You made out alright.
Clay: .oO(There's no way that jet fuel could have vaporized the plane.)
Clay: .oO(I need to get laid.)
That's the sex rug.
Brooke: Would you use the sex rug with me if I asked?
Oliver: I might ask you first...
Oliver: Because yes, I would do the sex with you.
Brooke: All of the sex?
Oliver: All of the sex I know of, at least.
Oliver: Which is mostly just kissing.
Oliver: I can't see anything. Tree's in the way.
Brooke: This only needs to be romantic from my perspective.
Abigail: There. Rewrote the basic rules of science as we know it! Not bad for an afternoon.
Abigail: Now watch me throw my shoulder out.
Abigail: Now my arm's stuck in "BUT WAIT!" mode forever. WHICH IS AWESOME.
Clay: I HATE BURNT TOAST
Abigail: You knew that thing had a two-stroke motor in it! We were about due for the first stroke.
Clay: I refuse to admit that anything is wrong with me.
Abigail: And that's why women live longer.
In fairness, you live longer because you're immortal and he won't live much longer because I hate him.
Now what are you doing.
Abigail: Constructing a miniaturized manufactory.
In your garbage compactor.
Abigail: It's already have-stocked with raw material! Some of it very raw.
I typed "have" instead of "half."
And I think that's weird.
So I didn't fix it.
This Guy: I brought your stupid book I guess.
Clay: Someone's at the door.
Abigail: I'm up to my armpits in garbage, Clay.
Clay: Dare I turn around?
Clay: How about I do a little dance while you work?
Abigail: It'll speed me up, that's for certain.
Clay: When you get an electric shock, the only cure is MORE ELECTRIC SHOCK.
Oliver: You get the feeling the Maker forgot us out here?
Brooke: I blame the Oliver factor.
Oliver: Time was, people considered me a main character.
Brooke: Real people, or the ones in your head with you?
Oliver: I like how you just say whatever you're thinking.
Brooke: I'm gonna run for President.
Oliver: Ew, on the Republican ticket?
Brooke: You know a better way to self-destruct the conservative machine?
Clay: I've got an idea!
Abigail: Oh, pray do tell.
Clay: You could do something that doesn't involve garbage.
Abigail: I've got some heavy-duty science in mind and I need certain equipment.
Clay: All I'm saying is that if you're not making Mr. Fusion I'm gonna be hella disappointed.
Oliver: That's the constellation Amatores, the Lovers.
Brooke: Pretty sure that's just Victus, the Loser.
Abigail: That's that. Now to just set the program, and extract the form-wrappable polymer nanoconstruct!
Abigail: You can't see it, but it's a thin film over my entire body right now.
Clay: Like the revulsion I'm feeling at that description?
Abigail: Yes, I like it very much!
Clay: Ha ha.
Clay: Can't you set up your nanny polly formy-wormy out here?
Abigail: When you reach my age you get a keen sense of the dramatic.
Abigail: And good science is all about good drama.
That is one hot drama!
Clay: Please tell me you can fuck with that on.
Clay: Because my body is ready.
Abigail: Sorry buddy, this suit doesn't interface with older models.
Abigail: It provides support, too!
LIke you need it.
Abigail: Right, but the illusion might make some ugly chicks feel better.
Abigail: Okay, next project!
"The Pants of Ants"?
Abigail: Go fuck yourself.
Clay: I'M SO TORN! I mean, ripped.
Abigail: Ha. Ha.
Clay: I'm Rip Torn! No seriously my stomach is what is happening to my stomach.
Abigail: Nobody cares.
Clay: Is it okay if I put my dick in your hat?
Clay: I'm just saying it would make me feel manly.
Brooke: I can't believe we're making jokes about hat crimes.
I typed "were" instead of "we're."
So I fixed it.
Because that's awful.
Oliver: I can't believe we're doing wordplay with hate crimes.
Oliver: I can't believe that my girlfriend is so hot I can't see this naked dude at all!
Clay: I can't believe it either, but your girlfriend sure gives me a woody.
Clay: You deserved to hear that, you liittle perv.
Oliver: Punch your dick off next time.
Clay: Ooh yeah baby, put that down there.
Brooke: If this seems phallic to you, you've got body image problems.
Oliver: It's hard not to in a house with you.
Brooke: It's okay that you're dumpy and plain, Oliver. I see what really matters.
Oliver: My kind heart?
Brooke: Your mom's collection of ray guns.
Oliver: Ridin' the nepotism special all the way to Poon Town.
Brooke: If my body is the country, Poon Town would be more like Poon Megalopolis. Comparatively speaking.
Brooke: You know, assuming this metaphor needs to go any further.
Okay, so what's it really called?
Abigail: It's about nature. Guess.
WELL NOW I'D FEEL STUPID SAYING IT
I'm not even joking. Full-on oscitation going on right now.
Clay: Testify, brother.
Abigail: "The Nature of Nature."
And that one's not half bad, really.
Abigail: If it's not half bad, which single word offends you?
You ever think about marketing that suit?
Abigail: There's some people I just never want to see delineated this precisely.
Some Maxis Sims can pass for non-Maxis Sims. Their friends will likely shun them as class traitors, though.
..and some non-Maxis Sims are probably still doomed when the purge comes.
Six hundred chapters from now.
Brooke: Please explain what that mirror's doing.
Oliver:NO! MY EYES!
Oliver: I wanna give you a BIG HUG!
Brooke: I'm happy with just the sentiment.
Brooke: So is your mom big into astronomy?
Oliver: We used to have "Your Mom is So Damn Smart" nights in our house. She'd take us outside and name the stars.
Oliver: As in, find new ones and give them actual names.
Oliver: My favourite is the one she named after Andrew's first bowel movement.
Brooke: That's enough of you for now.
I really couldn't agree more.
Next time: what this time was supposed to be.